06 | pinky promise

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You are unbreakable, Natalia

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You are unbreakable, Natalia."

Madame B. stood so close to her that she could feel her cold breath on the back of her neck. "You have no place in this world but here, a part of the KGB." She told her imploring.

Natalia's hand shook as she clutched the handgun, her eyes flicking back and forth to the man in front of her. Madame B. stood close beside her. The man had a sack over his head, but she could hear his cries as two Red Room guards held him down on his knees. "Shoot him. He hurt you." Madame B. repeated. "Remember who you are."

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova. Number 011. Owned by the KGB." She said instinctively, the words engraved in her brain just like her handlers had wanted.

Her heart was pounding, her stomach was twisting with fear, but she knew Madame B. was right.

This man had hurt her.

He had betrayed her trust and raped her in that dingy motel room. He had made her feel helpless, weak, and used. He was supposed to be her partner, another Red Room assassin who was supposed to guide her on her very first mission. She was only fifteen years old and had once admired him for all the kills under his belt. Now, he was supposed to be her first kill, one of many she would add to her own belt.

"Do it now." Madame B. demanded. "Or we shoot you. A life for a life... this is how it works."

Natalia knew that she had to do anything to survive.

She looked away from the man as she aimed the gun at him and squeezed the trigger. The gunshot rang out loudly, piercing the air and making her ears ring. The single bullet struck the man between the eyes, and he collapsed as blood began to seep through the sack and pool at her feet.

Natasha awoke from the flashback with a startled gasp, sitting up so quickly that her head began to swim.

"Блядь." [Fuck.] She sighed, rubbing her eyes before she slowly got out of bed. Her legs felt weak, her knees shook ever so slightly, and her training suit stuck to her sweaty skin. She hadn't planned to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon after a grueling training session with Wanda but as soon as her head had hit the pillow, she had swiftly drifted off. Her holster was still attached to her hip, but she didn't feel comfortable taking it off yet. She was still on edge, the vivid flashback shattering her resolve. It whispered to the demons in the depths of her mind to come forth and drag her back down with them.

She wouldn't let them.

Not this time.

She tried to clear her mind just as she always did after flashbacks that haunted her even as she slept, but it was never that easy. 

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