In The Midst of Pain

ITMP : C.4

Astraea

Nothing is permanent in this world. There's always an end upon everything. I don't know if everyone will agree on this belief of mine. After all, we have different views.

"Step sis, let's go?" aya sa'kin ng stepbrother kuno na si Dwayne. Nakaitim na tux sya at naka shades kahit na nasa loob pa kami ng mansion. I glanced at the mirror. I was wearing an elegant black sleeveless dress na hanggang ankle ang haba at may suot akong black velvet gloves. May suot rin akong hat na may black net-like cloth na bahagyang nakatakip sa mukha ko. My pearl necklace shone when stricken by the light. Naka braid ang upper part ng buhok ko at nakalugay ang ibaba. My maroon lipstick looked evident on my fair skin. Kinuha ko ang velvet black pouch at nagtungo kay Dwayne. Hinawakan ko ang braso nya nang inilantad nya ito. Habang bumaba kami sa grand staircase, napatingin sa amin ang mga tao. Dahil na rin siguro sa tunog ng black high heels ko. Tumigil kami sa tapat nina Daddy at ng asawa nya na nakaitim rin. The next thing I know, nasa sementeryo na kami. Nagdasal ang pari habang tahimik na nakikinig ang mga tao. Higit pa sa inaasahan ko ang dami ng dumalo. Sa lawak ng pribadong sementeryo na ito, halos kalahating parte nito ay ang populasyon ng mga taong dumalo sa libing ni Areia. Tila'y may nagbahang batalyon ng itim na langgam.

"Daughter," rinig kong bulong ni Dad. Natigil ang pagmasid ko sa paligid at tinuon ang atensyon sa harap. Nagbigay ng huling mensahe ang bawat tao na malapit kay Areia. I excused myself and started to look around. I know na nandito si Greyson. Marami namang malalapit sa kambal ko kaya may oras pa para baguhin ko ang takbo ng utak ng lalaking iyon.

"Looking for me?" Napatingin ako sa gilid. Here comes the stupid guy. Nilapitan ko sya. Nakasuot sya ng puting admit kaya napailing ako. Sya lang ang naiiba.

"Aren't you going to see my twin's body for the last time?" Tanong ko ng deritso.

"She's not dead, you're here. You're her." Malamig nyang wika kaya mabilis na dumapo ang palad ko sa mukha nya. For sure, it would leave a mark after a few minutes.

"Cut the crap, Cedric Greyson Schutz! Can't you face reality?" Galit kong sita sa kanya. Hindi sya sumagot at napatingin sa malayo.

"I understand why you are being a stupid jerk right now but please accept the truth! This is not just a stupid prank, do you get that?!" Napakuyom ang kamao ko. Ang sarap nyang suntukin, sa totoo lang.

"I know that this is hard for you but do you think na ikaw lang ang nahihirapan? Why won't you believe us? Sa tingin mo ba na magandang prank ang kamatayan?! Fuck it!" Wala akong pakialam kung may iba pa bang makarinig sa sigaw ko. Basta lang mailabas ko ang inis ko sa lalaking kaharap. Napansin ko na tumulo ang mga luha sa mga mata nya.

"I just can't believe that she's gone." Mahinang usal nya. Hinawakan ko ang mukha nya at hinarap sa'kin. Tinanggal ko rin ang suot na sombrero at ibinagsak sa bermuda grass kaya napaiwas ulit sya ng tingin.

"Don't you dare avert your gaze, Mr Schutz." Pagbanta ko. "Look at me. Look at my eyes." Mabuti naman at sinunod nya ang sinabi ko. For sure, kitang kita nya ang bughaw kong mga mata.

"From now on, each time you'll look at me, just look at my eyes instead. This differs us physically. Remember, I am Astraea Nicolet Granger, the blue eyed twin sister of your lover. I am her twin. Do you get that?" Ma awtoridad kong wika. Nang hindi sya sumagot, pinaningkitan ko sya ng mata. "Can't you understand what I'm saying, Cedric?" Galit kong tanong kaya napahinga sya ng malalim.

"Help me heal then," mahinang pakiusap nya kaya napangiti ako.

"Just don't you ever treat me as her," seryoso kong wika at binitawan sya. Pinulot ko ang sumbrero at bahagyang tinanggal ang dahon na dumikit bago isinuot.

"Now, before anything else, you need to go there and look at her body for the last time." Matigas kong salita at nagsimulang humakbang patungo sa tent. Naramdaman ko namang sumunod sya. Napasinghap ang iilan nang makita si Cedric, yeah Cedric. Iyan nalang ang itawag ko sa kanya dahil Greyson ang tawag ni Areia sa nobyo nya. Umupo ako sa tabi ni Dad at naramdaman ko namang umupo si Cedric sa bakanteng upuan na katabi ko. Sinulyapan ko sya at nakasuot na sya ng shades ngayon ngunit kitang kita ko parin ang pagpatak ng luha na nagmula sa mga mata nya. I breathed deeply and looked ahead. Si Daddy na ang may hawak ng mikropono.

"I still remember the time when my ex wife and I decided to have one child each when we divorced and learned that she was pregnant with twins," sinulyapan nya ako. "The one, wearing black who seated in front of you is Astraea Nicolet. She grows up with her mother in Europe while the one who laid inside the coffin is Areia Nicole and she grew up with me." saglit syang huminto.

"I know that like me, you can't believe that she's gone. Who would have thought that she would die in such an early age? But there's nothing we can do but to accept her death. We can't bring back the dead. Wherever she is now, she would be happy. We know her, she would always bring happiness with her. She's our little sunshine." Dad cried as well as everybody. I am not an exemption.

"I don't want to prolong message. My deceased daughter might get up from the coffin to hug me. That might be creepy." Natawa ang lahat sa sinabi ni Dad. Ibinalik nya ang microphone sa podium at bumalik sa upuan.

Tumayo ako at kinuha ang mic. Inilagay ko sa likod ng sumbrero ang lace na nakaharang sa mukha ko. Inilibot ko muna ang paningin.

"Some of you may still be crept out upon seeing my face," panimula ko at umirap. Hindi ko alam kung bakit natawa ang mga tao lalo na si Daddy. "But mind you, I am not her." Tinuro ko pa ang kabaong. "Let's respect the deceased. Never confuse her identity to a different living individual. It would be a great insult." I paused for a while. "I know that by now, you may have noticed our similarities and differences most especially by our attitudes." Tumango sila. "I don't want to act like a saint where in fact I am not, unlike my twin who don't have to act like it because she already is. Areia and I might be separated by distance but the bond between us is unbreakable. We are each other's half, after all." I paused and looked around. "Let's not forget the epitome of congeniality who put smiles in our faces. May she rest in peace." Huling wika ko. Hindi ko binalik sa podium ang mic dahil inabot ko ito kay Cedric. Umiling sya kaya sinamaan ko sya ng tingin. Huminga muna sya ng malalim bago tinanggap ang mic at tumayo. Natahimik ang lahat.

•Black_Aphrodeath