You Were Never Mine

Nightmares - Chapter 14

Parker

Elle was lying next to me, caught up in a peaceful slumber as I stared at the ceiling. The two of us had an eventful evening once we got back from Hanson's house and I made sure to take care of her after everything we got into. We had ordered Chinese take-out and ate that while we watched re-runs of 'Futurama' on Hulu. Turning my head to look over at the nightstand, I pick my phone up and look at the time. It was now 4:30 in the morning and I haven't gotten a lick of sleep. 

This whole time, I've been laying here thinking about Elle and how she is too good for me and for what I do. She's too good for my bad habits, my thoughts, my soul. I knew she was, even if she wasn't completely innocent either; she was still far too good for me and this life of mine. I let out a deep sigh as I look back over at her, watching as her lips were parted, her chest rising and falling. She was full of beauty and grace, even with the mouth she had on her. Even though she has been burned in the past, being introduced to the depths of evil, she was pure. 

My thoughts were consuming me and I couldn't think of sleeping at this moment, I needed to do something. I needed a distraction from these thoughts that were eating at me. Slipping out from underneath the comforter, I walk over to my dresser and grab a pair of gray sweatpants, slipping them over my boxers. I look back over my shoulder at Elle, taking one last glance before leaving my bedroom. After closing the door behind me, I make my way over to my laundry area in the apartment. 

I grab my plain black sweatshirt, throwing that on and heading towards the door. Sliding on my sneakers, I grab my car keys and exit the apartment, locking the door behind me. As I walk out to my car, I feel nauseous with guilt. I hope Elle doesn't wake soon and think I left her there after the night we had.

I start up my car and leave the parking lot, heading down the road and lighting a joint in the process. Bringing it up to my lips I take a long drag and continue my journey down the road. 

It was still dark out, now going on five am and even though we lived in California, it felt like a ghost town this early. I pulled into an empty parking lot close to the beach, parking my car and continuing to hit the joint. I turned up the radio and listened to the song that was playing, "Drunk Face" by Machine Gun Kelly. I leaned my head back against the headrest as I finished smoking and then sat there for a few minutes, drumming along to the beat of the song. 

As I glance over at the clock, I realize it's now 5:30 am and I had been gone for a while now. I put my car in drive and leave the parking lot, humming along to the music on the radio as I make my way back to my apartment. The drive back was peaceful, my mind was no longer running at the speed of light and consuming me.

My phone pinged next to me and I look down at the notification, worried that it's Elle. Once I make out the name on the phone, I roll my eyes and grip the steering wheel tighter with the hand that's on it. 

Hanson: Did you and Elle kiss and make-up? I didn't know she was your girl, man. You looked pretty ticked when you left yesterday. 

I read the text and lock my phone, not bothering to respond. He's just trying to get a rise out of me and it's working. I pull back into my spot in the parking lot of my apartment complex, getting out of my car and heading back inside. Once I'm in my apartment, I kick off my shoes and drop my keys onto the counter. Taking a seat on the couch, I think about how I should reply to Hanson, not really wanting to start an argument at almost six in the morning with him. 

Parker: She told me about how you guys met and that you gave her, her tattoos. 

I type back, leaving the sex out of it.