Embers and Ashes

e i g h t e e n: Out of the Woods

The rest of the day following Roman and I's fight seemed to last years. He barely ever left his room, and if he did it was only to use the restroom. I tried knocking on his door multiple times, begging him to just talk to me but it was no use. I know he said he needed space but after over six months of space, I don't think it would do us any good at this point. 

I knocked and waited two minutes for a response...nothing. I huffed and knocked again, and this time I got a response- just not the one I was wanting. 

"Tessa, go away."

"But I-"

"No."

"But can you just-"

"No."

"Ugh," I whine under my breath, sliding pathetically down the door to Roman's room. I completely understand why he doesn't want to talk to me, but waiting for him to have some space is really excruciating. Now I know how he felt when I basically refused to talk to him for weeks. 

After a while of sitting in front of his door with my head in my hands, I eventually retreated back to my own room like a kicked puppy. By no means do I see myself as the victim in this situation- I know that I messed up- I'm just hoping that Roman can forgive me sooner rather than later. 

I ended up calling Gemma crying, and when she picked up the phone she immediately assumed the worst, "Tessa? Why are you crying? Is it about Snake?"

"No," I sniffle. "It's Roman."

"Okay..." she trails off, clearly not knowing where I was going with this. 

"Everything is ruined," I cry, shoving my pillow into my face to muffle my sobs. 

"Hey, hey, hey," Gemma attempts to soothe me. "Tell me what happened. Did you break up with him for good?"

I shake my head, then realize she can't see me. "No, the opposite actually."

"But that's great! I knew you two would work it out!" 

"I thought so too but that lasted all about a couple of hours," I roll my eyes at my own stupidity. 

"What do you mean?" she asks curiously, but I can hear the twinge of sympathy in her tone. 

"Evan called me when I wasn't in the room and Roman saw. He had a feeling that something happened between us and I couldn't lie to him, Gem. We just got back together and I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot but it looks like we are anyway. I don't even know if he still wants to be together- he won't even talk to me," I finish my rant, lips quivering just from recounting the events that occurred only a couple of hours ago. 

"Oh shit, Tess. So after he found out he just started giving you the silent treatment?"

"Yeah, basically. We fought for a bit and I told him I'm sorry over and over but he said he needed space to process," I tell her, fidgeting with my fingers. "I really fucked up."

"No, don't go there. You were going through a rough time and Evan was there for you. I understand why you regret it but don't beat yourself up about it. I know Roman is upset but he has to realize that technically you and he weren't together while he was in hiding. You were supposed to be thinking he was dead, remember?" Gemma reasons with me, and while what she said makes sense, I still don't feel relieved in the slightest. 

"I know we technically weren't together but I know that if I were in his shoes I would be hurt too. I mean, just thinking about him being near another girl makes my blood boil."

"Then you're just going to need to give him some space like he asked," Gemma sighs, and I know she's right. 

"But, I'll tell you if there's one thing that I know for sure in this world," she continues, "It's that I've never seen a man love a woman as much as Roman loves you. It's written all over his face anytime he looks at you and I know for a fact this little mishap isn't going to change that." Now, this statement does make me feel a little bit better thankfully.