Not the Boss of Me

4

*TW: mention of mental illness*
(In the first bit)

-

"I need to talk to you," I sigh, after Mateo answered his phone, ignoring me three times before.

I swerve down the highway, the call on speaker, so I don't accidentally crash the car and die. My driving skills aren't exactly top notch, or so to say. Already, I never drive to any place I don't know, scared I would get lost, so me on the phone while driving is just a death wish.

"Go talk to your other boyfriend," he fires back, still not even letting me explain.

"That's my boss, you moron!" I say a bit too aggressively than I originally intended, holding the steering wheel firmly. My knuckles white from my grip, I breathe deeply so I would calm down.

"You're a terrible liar."

"How am I lying? He's Mr. De Luca's son, who gave me a drive home after you failed to show up, leaving me in the pouring rain," I go off on him, finally shutting him up.

"Well why didn't you say that before?" He says after a few seconds of silence.

"You didn't let me-" "woah," I swerve to the side, as a car races past me, almost hitting me.

It's the same Lambo that raced past Mateo and me. This guy gave Mateo the middle finger. I never understood what goes through some people's heads. How can they be so careless of your surroundings? Other people's lives or theirs, for that matter?

But no, the most important thing to these types of people is, showing off their ride. Even though everyone thinks they're a douche.

"You okay, baby?" He quickly loses the annoyed tone to his voice, now turning soft and worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I shake my head to myself as the man rushes down the highway. "As I was saying, you didn't let me explain anything," I continue, not allowing myself to get sidetracked.

"And the thing you said to me after, almost triggered it. And you knew it would do that," I say, really hurt by his words from yesterday.

No matter what happened between us, he hadn't ever done such a thing in the last few years we've been together. He knows what a touchy subject it is for me, yet he still said it.

"It's not my fault your head's all fucked up. I just said something and you got triggered by it for no reason at all. It's stupid."

The words cut through me like a thousand bullets. I felt aching pain throughout my entire body, especially my head. I hate the way I am. The way my mind is. Why can't I be normal like everyone else?

I've always felt like a freak and Mateo always made sure to tell me I wasn't. So this is all coming off as a big surprise. I thought he was different from others.

I guess I was wrong.

"My mind does not work like a normal person's does. So quit trying to treat it like it does!" My voice breaks and my eyes start tearing up, due to the hurtful words leaving his mouth.

"That's the fucking problem, Lilith! I can't act like your babysitter all the time. And then you blame me for whatever fucked up shit is going on inside of your head," he isn't stopping. What seems like years of built up anger and annoyance is finally spilling out of him onto me.

"It was getting better!" I cry out, quickly wiping my tears so I wouldn't crash the car.

"Like hell it was! It's never going to get better. You won't ever get better."