━━ 𝖽𝗈 𝗋𝖾 𝗆𝗂 : 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝖻𝗈𝗈 ✔

♔ 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 ♔

❝—𝘚𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰 𝘋𝘰 𝘙𝘦 𝘔𝘪 
 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶...❞
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The weekend passed by quickly and another Monday came. "I was thinking maybe after the exams on Friday, why don't we hang out with the second and first years? Like... Just chill in the meeting room? What do you think, vice and pres?" Soonyoung asked on the way to campus. I glanced at Jihoon who was seemingly thinking about it. He then shrugged lightly, "Eh, that's up to you guys. If you're all free then why not." Soonyoung lit up. "Don't get too excited. That's still 4 more days." I said. He pouted as Junnie pouted along with him. 

---

Days went by fast. From Monday, to Tuesday, and then to Thursday. Without knowing, Friday came. "This is the last day, huh..." I accidentally muttered out loud. "That's reality for ya... Also, graduation day would be next week Saturday, right? So then Monday to Friday next week is just holiday?" Jun asked. I nodded to answer his question. The thought of holiday made him smile a bit. "So then, we'll gather in the meeting room later. See you guys later." During the last minutes of the exam, I could feel the excited atmosphere. As the ticks from the clock went by, the awaited moment came. The bell rang, signaling that all of this was over. A huge sigh of relief came out of almost everyone. The once tense classroom became empty and students left the building with excitement. Whispers filled the place which made the hallway quite noisy and crowded. "Hey, let's go." Soonyoung found me in the middle of the crowd and dragged me to the meeting room. By the time we reached there, Mingyu, Chan, Jun, Hansol, and Minghao were there already. We waited for the rest while playing with UNO cards that Chan brought. 

...

We were all there except for him. Seungkwan wasn't there yet for some reason. "It's fine. We'll just play while we wait. He can join in once he arrives. He did say that he was going to be late." Hansol said. Some of us went to the canteen to buy some drinks and snacks. After about an hour, the door opened. "Ah, there you are." I looked over to see Seungkwan, who I haven't seen in about a week or so, holding his arms tightly with a shy face looking down at the floor. "Sorry I'm late. I had to deal with something before coming here." We continued to enjoy our time together until the school bell rang. "So then, we'll see each other during graduation day, right?" Mingyu asked. "Yeah, see you guys then." With that, the final meeting with us, third years ended. The room then emptied up. I was about to take my leave, but someone got a hold of my sleeve. I looked back to see Seungkwan, who was avoiding eye contact again. I waited until everyone went out to not make a scene. I knew, by that point, that there was something he had to say. Once the room became empty, I closed the door and I sat on the floor casually and invited Seungkwan to sit with me. "I'm thinking there is something you want to say, right?" 

Silence. He opened his mouth several times to speak but just couldn't. I felt quite bad for him, like I was scolding him or something so I tried to make him comfortable. "Seungkwan, how was today? It was fun, right?" He nodded. He seemed to be less tense. "You wanna do this again next time?" He replied this time, "...Yes..." I noticed that he didn't have a smile. It was probably the first time I saw his sad and upset expression. "You don't have to be scared or nervous or anything. Just tell me what you want to, okay? We're friends here so don't be so tense." My junior then sighed. He looked at me properly and began with, "Sorry, hyung." I was a bit shocked by that but didn't interrupt him and let him continue.

𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗞𝗪𝗔𝗡

"It was a bit... Cowardly of me to ignore you and run away from you, Hyung. As you have probably guessed, it was because of the paper you had. Yes, that belonged to me." I admitted. I glanced at Wonwoo-hyung to see his reaction. He wasn't fazed and he seemed rather understanding. Because of that, I continued with more ease--knowing that someone was listening. 

"That paper was from my journal. I have a journal with me at all times. I write in it about my current feelings or emotions I go across. The reason I do that isn't really...complicated. I don't have anyone to tell them to. This slowly became a habit. It started from my home...."

"My sister... She's the most talented person I know. She... Is so kind, smart, and she's really responsible. She can practically do anything. I look up to her a lot. She works as a psychologist and is one of the best workers there. But..." I paused. Wonwoo-hyung seemed to notice that I was getting nervous. He handed me a bottle of water for me. I slowly opened it and tried my best to put my thoughts into words. 

"She... Took everything from me at the same time. Because she was so good... I was always... Ignored. I had nothing that made me special. My sister had everything. All the attention was on her. I was only known as 'That girl's brother' or 'The other one' and even 'The useless one'. Because of that, I... Got pressured. Pressured to be better than I was. I thought that maybe... If I was better... then people would be able to listen or at least look at me. But... No matter what I did, nothing changed."