beautiful Life

same shit day start as usual

ya I am not sure about anything.
today I am sleeping in my bed and my mom come to my room.
mom- baby good morning. get up early. you know what baby, I am thinking you have to hang out with your friends and enjoy your life,why are you always locked in the room.  you should go and hang out with your friends, baby.
me- I am wondered, what the hell mom was talking, friends, I really don't know what is the meaning of friends, but one thing I am sure friends will also be lousy in this fucking beautiful life.
mom- baby get up and come downstairs to eat your breakfast. baby I'm going. I wating for you to come downstairs to eat.
me- ya mom, I am coming down.
I remove the blanket from me, I feel little lazy I don't know why.
I climb out off the bed, and wear my slippers.i pad into the bathroom attached to my room. with my slow steps.i slamming the bathroom door behind me.
I peeling off each article of my clothes one by one slowly.i stand in front of the mirror.drop of tears fall from my eyes.i roughly swipe my all tears from my cheeks.and i head towards the water shower with my slow steps.

I start a water fountain.and stood under the water fountain.water starts comes to my face from above my head.slowly my eyes started watering.i feel so week, I wondered I am a burden in this world.my feet started weaken.and I stumble to my knees and began to sob uncontrollably, my chest aching. I sit on the ground under the fountain.i start crying vigorously.i start to try to take to my fountain of tears. my eyes coated with sobs.i started grumble, i also want to be happy, I need her.... please god help me..,.. please.... owen come back I need you...please.
sobs over took my body once again and small gasps left my lips.i start taking gasp vigorously. some seconds pass.eventually I got my breathing under control.and I ignored the occasional Stray tears that would rain down my cheeks.