beautiful Life

sorry my foot

i focus on the hand a hand ..
seriously....???
I rebuke my moronic thought.

I replied him....
it's not everyday that I meet someone by having the same sense.. to tell me,he knows everything about me,... when he didn't even know one thing about me...how sad.

oh one more thing .... what are you saying...I am your more than friend in future or I call you whenever I sad or something... what shit are you talking about.....so please explain me..,,??
I dodged his proposition as I looked him in the eyes, our face nearly centimetres away...I really don't know even where is confidence come from within me.

so tell me.... Owen....I sneer his name like a venom on my tounge.
but it doesn't have the desired effect on him.
he doesn't seem to be taking my attitude seriously.
......asshole.
his eyes trailed from my eyes to my lips as they curled up into a silly smile.
a raspy chuckle sounds from owen and something about his laugh rattles me deeply.
oh gosh I feel nervous... but I tried my best to don't show.

he still standing beside me but I pay him no further attention.

owen- hey beautiful...are you this nice to all the guys who talk to you or am I just lucky?
owen teases, and I see him with my serious expression.

when suddenly my door room crack open and a girl come inside but I don't see her face because she cover her face with hoodie cap..?
and me and Owen eyes direction towards her.

and she stand beside owen and she took off the cap from her head.
when I see her face...I litterly feel right now crying... because none other than she was my bully stand in front of me...oh gosh I litterly feel nervous... my body is shaking.

owen notice me and he hold my hand tightly...hey... beautiful are you okay...I didn't replied him.

on that time amora speak...
amora- Jenifer.....I want to say something to you..so,...may I.
me- I didn't reply her..??

and I freed my hand from owen hand.

and tears swells in my eyes and I swipe them away quickly.

amora- I am sorry... for the today incident in school or the times I hurt you , for the times I lied to you, and for every other reason you're so angry at me.

I know my apologies don't mean shit to you , but aside from that all i can do is promise to try to be better in the future. ....
so.... please forgive me....I couldn't sleep peacefully the day I started bullying you..!

tears keep rolling down her cheeks.

anger consume my heart and I just don't have the sympathy to comfort her..
this not me.

it is easy to say sorry for the things you've done, it's also easy to forgive and forget but the thing that will never be easy is to not feel good enough, giving a fuck when no one else does, being ignored, crying, trying.... not being so happy.... letting other people treat me like a shit.... I'm just thrown away like trash.

maybe that's what I am, maybe I am nothing....so don't feel sorry... you didn't do any wrong...I think you should be happy... because you make my life hell.

sorry I wasn't enough to be your sorry..i said and walk out of the room.

I come my room and shut the door behind me.
I climb my bed and hug my knees.
tears rolling down my eyes.. and i keep grumbling.

I don't give a damn .. her sorry.
my hands fall into fists and I scream again! I hate her...I fucking hate her,I swear.

rugged breath come from my mouth..I feel really week now.. how someone says simply sorry... seriously... sorry my foot...!

when suddenly my room door open and Owen come inside and slam the door behind him.
heart break is clear on his face as he mentally decides whether or not he should comfort me.

"just go"..I croak.

I turn my face in shame.

he sit in front of me.
I glance up at him and my bottom lip starts to tremble.
my lips part as I prepare to say something to him, but he wrap her arms around me.