Demolition Lovers (Frerard)

9: In Which Gerard Experiences Some First World Problems (And Frank Nearly Dies)

It was fucking cold.

And it was always fucking cold in Gerard's shitty ass apartment, but there was just about nothing that the twenty eight year old could do about that.

Except wear a jumper.

Gerard was too cool for jumpers.

The word 'cool' being used rather literally here.

Gerard Way was just a shivering emo mess sat against the door to his balcony, surrounded, but not quite covered, with blankets: shitty, torn up, ratty, twenty year old blankets - not nice blankets, to say the least.

But then again, in a flat like this, Gerard couldn't really expect anything to be nice, and with a life like his, he couldn't really expect anything to work out alright.

But he most certainly still didn't expect things to work out quite like they had: he didn't want the whole world to end in fists and bruises and not quite so empty threats. Gerard couldn't fucking cope with this, and it was all Frank's fault, it was all to do with fucking Frank, and quite literally so, but still, he couldn't find it within himself to blame the asshole of a twenty four year old who lived next door.

Gerard was just confused, and maybe a little scared, and more fucking alone that ever before, and maybe, just maybe, all he needed was someone to hug him and tell him that everything was okay, but the noises from next door made Frank's stance upon that kiss and its after effects very fucking clear.

He couldn't fucking compete, and he wouldn't not today, and maybe not ever: this wasn't a fucking game and maybe Frank just needed to get that into his head. Maybe, just like Gerard, he needed a good old punch to the face: black eye, and busted, bloody lip, to keep that up in his head.

Gerard pulled his knees up to his chest and tried to focus on anything other than Frank, but of course, soon found that to be much harder than he had anticipated. Frank wasn't everything, but Frank was fucking important and that kiss wasn't just anything, because just maybe, just maybe, that kiss was everything.

But it was quite evident by now that the everything was one sided, as Gerard sat in his flat: broken and bloody as he tried his best not to cry, Frank moaned out next door as any random guy fucked him into his mattress.

But that was just Frank, and Gerard was just Gerard, and maybe they were even okay like this, but they weren't, not anymore.

Feelings had fucked that all up, to say the least; feelings had torn this all to pieces, feelings had torn Gerard to pieces, and Frank wasn't even there to pick them up, to pick him up this time. And Frank had obligation to be, but Gerard still couldn't stop himself from missing something that he didn't even have.

-

The noises stopped at the very least, eventually, that was.

Eventually, everything stopped though - that was just how the world was, and eventually, Gerard would stop feeling like he could die, and he would stop feeling this way for Frank, and his head would stop spinning and maybe he'd even get back up off his feet and fucking sort his life out: one day.

One day.

But not today.

That was beyond evident as the minutes continued to tick past and Gerard's eyes only began to close as the world faded back out into silence.

Silence was exactly how it had been since that fucking kiss because not a word had been shared between the two. For Gerard, it was all punches and no explanation, and for Frank, it was all fucking and forgetting.