I am wanna die so bad so cruelly it's like I been living for ages times seems like to ...........slow down and fate is against me, but you know even during times like this hope is something I held and always the one to told me that I have a reason...
tik.tok and there we clock strikes 12;00 exact its been two hours in the bed ,wait was my day not enough tough for me .........it was but I guess my mind also needs an opportunity to think about what is going on around me ,what should I do ,has my life had any purpose to live for ,to live on or to live with ,am I always gonna be nobody ,am I anybody .Things like this keep me up at night and my dreams are not perfect as my mind always wander that would I be ever something or at least some in my future .
Don't think like this .don't think like this ,don't think like this ,I told my self as I was starting to experience depression under my veins and my heart beats became low ,I sat on bed and started to grip my hair tight and with every past second it gets stronger on it .I hate summer as day become to long and bright for me, I hate winters as it not allow my wounds to fill fast ,I hate autumn as every thing seems to start new life and as for me I am living in same stray manner ,I hate spring as during it every thing seems to dying but still looked pretty but I am dying every day more and more deeply .
'Relax breath .B........rea...th.....look around you tell me what three things you see' my mind asked me
'MY ugly hands ,walls and blanket that I wear ' I replied out loud cause I know I need that so hard right so badly.
'Ok what two things you can feel tell me fast ' 'again my mind asked .
'Blanket and myself as burden 'I replied this time breathing steadily .
'One more question tell me what the sound you are able to hear tell me one ' mind asked again
'My high breaths that just now slow' done I replied this time smiling why because I am psycho.............
I looked out at the sky and got lost in it blue and black always been my favorite colors why cause when I see black I got a though that we are same like black is not being accepted as color people thing its just a mess created through so many colors and I am same people thing me as mess they try to be nice in front of me but behind my back they talk mean ...........and........how came I know Well I was sort of lucky to hear it by my own ear but you know I didn't beat them up ,I didn't fight ,I didn't gave back what they had given me, I just smile yet in that manner I serve my purpose talking about me like a spoiled celebrity will sure make their day come on, man I don't have time to deal with fight drama and love life is not in my life .When I speak love that me all sort of ,love that is between mom and its infant child ,love that is between siblings ,love that is between father and daughter , love that is between grandparent and grand child. Love has a deep definition thought we think of it really low .
Why blue because its seems deep and sad but look normal as nothing happen to it I wonder if this color is what my aura is though I test it and found its white ......fake lie like all other things I hear ,all other things that been promised and all other tings that had to done but never happened.
Autumn night that falls upon me send chilly wind which brushes me as if it is trying to clam me and clear my wound ,you know I loved it I closed my eyes and enjoys cold breeze ,I put my head on pillow and before I know it I was set far from this world ....in the dreams that brings and offer allot unlike my fate
HEY GUYS THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITTING .IT IS WRITTEN BASED ON THE RESEARCH I WAS DOING ON IT FOR AWHILE NOW SO PELEASE DO TELL IN THE COMMENT IT WILL HELP ME ALOT
Words:697
published:8.12.2020
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IF ANY OF YOU ARE FEELING DEPRESSION LOOK AT THIS PICTURE AND THINK YOU ARE HERE EXPERIENCING COOLSAND UNDER FEET ,WARM COLORS FROM SUNN IS WELCOMING YOURBODY
