Dear Simon,

Chapter One

Foreword: This fanfiction will be updated around once a week when I have time to write. It is for entertainment purposes only. I do not own anything except for the characters I created. It will contain cursing and some homophobic language later in the story. If that makes you uncomfortable, I recommend you not to read this.

My guts are wrenching. It's the first day of freshman year. High school. My throat swallows cotton as I start getting dressed. I look in my full body mirror and my stomach drops. It happens every time I don't look wear a shirt and I look in the mirror. Something about me isn't right but I'm still trying to figure out what it is. I pick up a shirt from the floor and I smell it. It's fine. I pull it over my head and pull my curly brown hair out of my shirt.

Mom's already left for work, so it's just me and my sisters. We take the bus.

The school smells like chemicals. It's the First Day smell I've grown to dread. The changes always scare me, but the First Day Smell is consistent. I look at my schedule. I have a Literature class first. I go to the cafeteria and eat breakfast before class. Caitlyn Deans passes by me with her friends. Her smile shines like a thousand suns. She's beautiful. Her curly blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes aren't even her best features. It's her laugh.

"Did you hear about the new post on Creeksecrets?" One of her friends is talking but I don't know her name.

"Oh yeah, Jared and Lexie fucked in the brass room during band camp."

"No way! Even Lexie isn't that slutty. I don't believe it."

So Jared and Lexie are a thing now? The bell rings and I hurry to room 302.

Just like every first day, the desks are labeled with names. I hurry to mine and sit down. A brunet boy sits across from me. He turns and looks at me. "Hey, I'm Aaron," he turned his body to face mine, "I moved here during the summer. What's your name?"

I could lie. I could say a different name, something more comfortable. Jered? Kyle? Ethan? What would everyone say if I did lie? I opened my mouth but nothing I wanted to say came out. What I said instead was: "Cool, I'm Sierra." Instant regret. I hate it.

"Sierra is a beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

Something about his sentence bothers me, even though it's a compliment.    

"Thanks," I breathed out a smile. The class finishes filing in and the tardy bell rings. Some girls in the back corner are talking about that Creeksecrets Tumblr. I don't see what's so great about it.

The day drones by class by class. It's finally the sixth and final period of the school day. I once again find my desk and sit down. Wait - is that Caitlyn Deans? In my class? In the desk in front of me? No fucking way. She turns around and smiles, "hey Sierra. Do you have a pencil I could borrow?"

"Here, take mine. I have plenty in my bookbag." No, I don't. What the fuck am I saying?

"Thanks! You're a lifesaver."

I pull a pen out of my bookbag pocket because I gave her my last pencil. I don't even know why. It was just an instinct. Almost. The class is redundant. Every year we go over the rules of the handbook. We all know them by heart by now. We just choose not to follow them sometimes. Only forty-five more minutes until class is over.

(0.0)

The bus ride home is boring. I listened to Panic! At The Disco and a playlist of different alternative rock bands. Maybe it's a teenage angst phase. The bus banged and threw its passengers around like we were a bagged goldfish in a child's arms.

I walk in the door and head to my room to set my bookbag down and put my phone on the charger. My phone vibrates. I got a text from my friend Alisa.

Alisa: Sorry I missed the first day. I know you were fine without me though. See you tomorrow :D

Me: I survived fine haha. See you tomorrow!

"Sierra? Are you home honey?"

"Yeah Mom," I feel a sigh escape my lips, "I'm home."

"Good; can you get the clothes out of the dryer?"

"I'm on it." Mom always makes me help with the chores because I'm the oldest child. There's a picture on the wall in the hallway next to the laundry room. In that picture, there are five smiling faces. A happy family. I can't bear to look at that family for more than a glance. I don't know why Mom still displays it. I pull the clothes out of the dryer and take them into Mom's room for her to fold.

"Thanks, honey," Mom hugs me. Her hair is messy and she has bags under her eyes. She works too much.

"No problem, Mom." I hurry back into my room. I need something to do. I look around for something to draw on or something. Anything to cure boredom. I see a notebook and I flip through the pages to see if it's empty. Blank pages waiting for an opportunity. I find my pen in my bookbag and I start writing. I write and write.

Pages and pages later, I hear Abreala speak. "Mom says it's dinner time."

"I'll be down in a minute," I place my pen to my left and my notebook to my right. Mom, Abreala, and Claira are already at the dinner table when I step down the stairs into the dining room. "Sierra, now that you're here we can say Grace. Bow your heads and open your hearts."

Prayer has always made me uncomfortable. It's not even a religious reason, I just feel weird that we always have to bow our heads to pray. I do it anyway. After prayer, we begin to eat. Mom steals the silence, "how was your day at school?"

Abreala speaks up. She's always been in the spotlight. "I made a new friend!" She twirls her fork around her spaghetti. "His name is Ferrel."

"That's great, Sweety! I'm so proud of you." Mom turns to me and I feel my stomach flop. "What about you, honey, make any new friends?"

I racked my brain. Did I meet anyone new? That kid in literature. What is his name? Arnold? Aiden? No! It is Aaron! "I met a boy named Aaron."

Mom smiled that smile that all moms smile when a girl mentions a boy's name. "What's he like?"

"I don't know. We only exchanged hellos."

She puts her hand on my arm. "You should invite him to dinner one night!" That's a terrible idea.

"No, that's unnecessary Mom. We only met once and it was for one second."

I could have seen her roll her eyes but maybe it was a trick of the light.