Dear Simon,

Chapter Nine

Please note: this is not an accurate account of the Chid Protective Services. This story is not meant to demean Child Protective Services in any way, shape, or form. Please keep in mind that this story is completely fictional.

Forewarning: There is cursing and mentions of abuse.

I check the time on my phone. It's ten forty-two in the morning. I seldom use Facebook, but a notification is showing on my screen. I open the app. My stomach jolts. Simon Speir has accepted your friend request. I wipe my hands on my pajama pants. I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. Since Harry hasn't burst through my door demanding to study yet, I start drafting in my head what I'm going to say to Simon. I look up from my phone. There is no sign of Harry, so I presume he's still sleeping. I suck in a breath and start typing.

Dear Simon,

You don't know me but I go to Creekwood High School. My preferred name is Ethan. I'm a freshman. I've heard your story and I'm glad everything turned out good in the end. However, I'm in a similar yet far more complex situation. I can't explain it in detail, but I'm being blackmailed with my sexuality and my gender identity. I'd just come out, but honestly, I don't even know how. My family is religious. Can you give me some advice? What did you do when you were blackmailed?

With hope,

Ethan Marrows

My hands are shaking and my insides are squeezing together. My message is constructed more like an email than a text, but it shouldn't matter. I hit send. I can feel the terror seep inside of me as the message is sent. What if he reads it but doesn't care? What if he blocks me? All of these 'what ifs?' won't change the outcome, even if I have no idea what that outcome is yet. All I can do is breathe.

"It's nice to see that, for once, you're up before I wake you up. How'd you sleep?" Harry is in my doorway leaning against the frame.

I lock my phone screen. "Fine, and you?"

"Like a rock."

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"No, but I made some. Claira and Abreala are already eating. It's waffles and biscuits."

I stand and follow Harry to the dining room, where an assortment of foods are displayed on the table. It smells amazing. I had no idea Harry could cook so well. We cooked yesterday, but he cooked on his own this morning. I sit and immediately start eating. It's good.

"What's all of this for?" Whatever he's done, I'm going to find out.

"I'll explain later."

After we finish eating, Harry pulls me by the arm into the kitchen.

"What is going on with you, Harry?" I'm trying to read his thoughts through his eyes.

"I want to apologize," he gulps and then adds, "about the other night - and I want to thank you for letting me stay here last night." His eyes are shifting anywhere but to me.

"You should be thanking my mom, she's the one who gave the final say. As for the apology, you still haven't said 'sorry'. You said you wanted to." I prompted him.

"Oh, uh," Harry places his arm on the back of his neck and looks down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been such an asshole."

"You know how you can be less of an asshole? Give me my composition book. We can forget everything that happened and I can still help you pass your exams." I hold out my right hand as a deal suggestion.

Harry shakes his head, "it's not that simple-"

"It can be if you let it!"

"I can't go home to get it! He'll. . . ." Harry's sentence fades as his expression becomes blank.

I sigh. We've been swallowed by an angry, awkward silence. "I'll be in my room after I finish breakfast so that we can study." I feel Harry's eyes linger on me as I leave.

(0.0)

Harry eventually comes upstairs and we study for the rest of the day, with breaks, of course. It's almost the end of fall break. I'm extremely ready to go back to school and have some time away from Harry. I know his situation is terrible, but so is blackmailing me. I just really want him to pass his exams. Some for my sake but more so for his sake.

"Sierra! Help me put the groceries away!" Mom's home. She went shopping after work, I'm presuming.

     "I'll be right back." I tread to the kitchen and there's a man with Mom. My insides boil immediately. Who the fuck is this?

Mom sets her purse on the counter and turns to me. "Sierra, this is a friend of mine who works for Child Protective Services. He needs to talk to Harry about what he told you."

"What?" Oh no. My insides sour and I wipe my hands on the bottom of my shirt. "I never told Harry that I told you. Mom, he's going to be really angry with me."

"It's for his own good though. I'm sure he'll understand in the long run."

The CPS man turns to me, " can I speak to Harry Walters please?"

I nodded and pointed upstairs. "Go up the stairs and Harry is in the first room to the left." I was about to follow him when Mom called me.

"Stay down here, Sierra."

"But-"

"But nothing." Mom's brown eyes glared into my soul.

We waited for half of an hour.

"Sierra, if you keep biting your nails like that your fingers will become infected. If you need to chew on something go get some baby carrots from the refrigerator."

     Finally, the CPS man comes down the stairs and speaks with my mom. "We'll review the information, Breanna, but I'm not sure what all we can do yet."

I rush up the stairs and to my room, I find Harry sitting on my bed crying.

"I trusted you." His face is in his hands and his voice is a shaky whisper. I barely hear his words. "They already spoke to my dad. They're gonna make me go home." His face and eyes are red. Tears run down his cheeks. "I can't go home."

"They can't make you go home. They're meant to protect you-"

"They have before! Several times!" His arms fling in front of him dramatically as he rises from the edge of my bed.  "They don't care about me or you or anyone! They only care about how many dollar bills they can stuff into their goddamned pockets!"

I can feel a lump form in my throat. I can barely choke out an "I'm sorry."

"Fuck your sorries." Harry picks up his previously packed bookbag and shoulders me on the way out of my room and probably my house as well.

I fucked up big time. I unlock my phone and text Harry.

Seen.