coffee stains [ed sheeran]

14

14.

After I got dressed, I just crawled up under the covers of his bed. I hope he didn't mind sleeping on the couch another night. My sides burned from running, and my heart ached from seeing my Mother. In a child way, I still craved for my Mother's love, even though it's been so long since I've received even bit of it from her.

Ever since I got out of the tub, I have had to count. Unfortunally, this was my fifth round of counting, and I still wanted to cry. I couldn't help it, after one tear escaped, the rest just came. I tried to not to make a noise, knowing Ed was just in the next room.

I turned my head over, putting my mouth to my pillow, and sobbed. My fist tightened to the blankets, as I pulled them tighter to me. A knock came at the door, and I could hear the sound of it opening.

"Rhy?" He called out in a whisper, like he seemed he didn't want to interrupt. I'm kind of glad he did, it helped me to try and make an effort to suck it up.

When I didn't answer, he shuffled into the room, and went to sit on the bed. At my feet, I felt his weight pull down the bed a bit, and I just remained silent. Of course I sniffled a bit, but I still kept quiet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He spoke finally.

I sighed, "not really. I'm sorry I'm crying." I pushed myself up, sitting upwards on the bed. He looked into my eyes and gave me a sad smile.

"I just... I'm having a tough time. Sorry I ran away... I saw my Mother." I admit, hugging myself. His eyes lit up, and he seemed to realize something, but I knew it wouldn't click unless I go into detail.

"And that's why you ran?" I shrugged in response, looking down at my hands. They were knotted in my lap, to keep my anxious feeling in the bottom of my stomach down.

"I was upset, and she looked messed up- which she didn't even have a right to be. She's the one who kicked me out and all," the tears built up once more, as I swallowed to keep my dignity.

"I'm sorry," he confessed, and moved a bit closer. His hand reached around my waist, and I flinched. I hate being touched, even though his skin radiated through the Tshirt and felt nice.

Ed sighed, and pulled me to him. I gripped his shirt, resting my head on his chest as he let me cry.

After a while, my tears seemed to stop, and I wanted myself to feel okay. I wasn't though. I was not okay, not even in the slightest. It took me a minute, but I pulled myself from his embrace, and looked at him. His eyes were tired and barely open, and I felt bad for keeping him up so long.

I was such a bother, I knew that. "Go to sleep, Ed," I told him, moving my body back under the covers. He looked up, nodding and yawning, before getting up. "I'm sorry to keep you up so late..."

"No, it's fine, love. It is," he responded, almost looking hurt. I hope I didn't hurt him... "I just want you okay."

"I swear I am, I am alright in every way," I reassure him, even though it's a straight up lie. My heart heated in my chest with the anxious feeling of being scared.

"Then I will leave," he tells me, standing up from his current sitting position on the bed. I nodded, biting my lip. I didn't want to be alone at the moment, but I had no idea if it would be reasonable if I asked him to stay.

"But before I leave," Ed started, hesitating.

I raise my eyebrow slowly at his hesitation. "Yeah?"

"You're not going to run from me ever, will you?"

My breathing caught, and I had to look down. Sure we have known each other for maybe a week, but this question was cruicial.

"I hope not," I sighed, smiling sadly. "Can I ask you something? Like, it's a favor, and I don't want it to be weird. I just... I'm not in a good state to be alone right now..."

Ed's eyes widened, and he pushed his hand through the top of his hair. "Oh, sure," he says, sitting back down.

I smiled again, pushing the covers back. I knew I was only wearing a t-shirt, but it was okay. Ed did make me nervous. Ed was in some sweats, and he looked cuddly. Through my tired eyes I could see his cheek turn the color of his hair, which made my stomach tighten.

"Can I trust you?" I softly whisper once my head rested on one of his pillows. Ed nodded, pulling the comforter up to my shoulders.

"I don't know why I run..." I tell him, closing my eyes. I could feel his hand run through my hair softly.

"That's okay. We can work with it," he reassures me. I nod, seeing light through the cracks of my eyelids.

"Can I tell you something else?" I ask.

"Yes, of course. Anything, actually." His voice soothes me, and it clicked. I knew I could trust him.

"I run because I'm scared... of myself."

----

currently at a baseball game missing everything to update this lol

iM SEEING ED SHEERAN NEXT SATURDAY GOODBYE