Bloodlust

Chapter Four

I arrive back at my apartment around five o'clock, just as the sun is setting in the autumn world. Once again heading straight for the bourbon, I let out a contented sigh as it burns the back of my throat, the sunlight catching its angles.

Contrary to popular belief, the Vampire Diaries are actually fairly accurate, in regards to murderous original vampires and daylight rings. In France, they call them the reste de la vie, or the remnant from life. It's appropriate, given that the only materials the rings can be made from are objects that held intimacy for the wearer in life.

Gently, I finger my own ring; a tarnished copper band, so simplistic that many often mistaken it for...I don't know what. Not my daylight ring. It's lightness serves me well. It's memories don't.

Niklaus has already disappeared to one of my spare bedrooms. Will, though, leans on my bar counter, surveying me with interest. As I take a deep drink, I say, "You're wondering how I got the Council to give me everything I wanted."

"Yeah," he says. No wishy-washy conversation, now. "Like I said, Councilman Alastair is the stingiest guy I know. How'd you get him to turn over twenty million dollars without a second thought?"

I glance at him. His dark hair curls at the top, so like Feydor from Russia, all those years ago. He was poor as dirt, a victim of the tzar's ludicrous spending. Abnormal kindness flowed through him, though. He'd have given the skin off of his back for a child.

He did, one day, when he was sent to a Gulag in place of a child.

"The Council doesn't like to admit weakness. Fortunately for me, I am theirs. Despite everything that has transpired between us, I am still their sire. They are still my children. I have a slight hold over them in that way, and they, the tiniest feeling of debt, towards me." I smile humorlessly. "I gave them this existence, but how I wish I could take it away."

He stares at me, askance. "Why'd you talk like that?"
I raise my eyebrow. "Like what, bub?"

"Like that. You speak like you're from another era, sometimes, and then you say things like bub or asshole. Like you can't remember what time you're in."

In my head, I applaud his eye for detail. It's true what he says, in a way. Lots of times, especially when I visit my oldest friends, my speech reverts back to the 1700s or the 1800s. When poetry was language and language was art. Most of the time, I'm able to reel it back in. Not now, I suppose.

"I remember. It's just...difficult to stay the same when I visit old friends."

"You know, you're pretty fearless. Standing up to the Council like that, I mean."

I throw him a sly smirk. "Complimenting me, Amstraat? That's the first step to love."

To my shock, he shrugs, and says, "I wouldn't mind falling in love with you."

I stare at him for a moment, wondering at the young vampire who's been assigned to me. He's clearly a flirt; that much is clear. But there's something else that hides behind his eyes, something that only an immortal can truly recognize: exhaustion.

"Don't fall in love with me, Will Amstraat," I say coldly, masking my features once again. "Nothing good ever comes of it."

With that, I head to my room, not caring where he sleeps. All I can hope is that the nightmares do not come tonight.

-----------

When I wake, it's to silence.

Prowling through the house, I catch a glimpse of Will in his room, drool dribbling down his chin. Wincing, I glide past. This is who's on the mission of the century with me?

Anyway. Pushing open the kitchen skylight, I haul myself to the roof. It's quiet, up here. Isolated. Although there's a rooftop garden, few ever enter. They're too obsessed with monetary things. I could say the same for myself; except that it's a bit different for me.

Settling on the edge of the building, I breathe in the cool autumn air. A slight breeze whips my dark hair back and I close my eyes, letting it wash over me. I should be cold, in my thin tank top and short pajama bottoms; but I'm not. Vampirism has leached all the warmth from my body, but replaced it with indifference to temperature.

I'd be lying if I said I'd not missed it.

After a few moments of gazing at the stars, unnaturally clear in a highly populated city, I say, "Couldn't sleep?"

Niklaus stands next to me, the breeze ruffling his hair. "Don't," he says. "I don't sleep."

I nod and look down at the street below us, my legs dangling above the millions of people, smaller than ants, below us. "It gets better, you know. The dreams."

He glances at me. "Is that why you're up here?"

I smile. "Sharp. No, I woke up. I don't like falling asleep after that."

Slowly, Niklaus lowers himself to the edge and swings his legs over it. He stares at the building across from mine for a brief moment, the glass failing to reflect his heavy gaze. "Is there a reason why?" he asks, continuing to stare at the city beyond us.

"I believe we wake for a reason. That there's something the universe is trying to tell us." I smile bitterly this time, remembering the last time I slept peacefully. "I don't believe in tempting fate, Niklaus. It's too bold, even for me."

We lapse into silence, the world rushing around us while we sit, infinitely frozen in time. "You don't think...everything happens for a reason, does it? That fate has some screwed up plan for people like us?"

"The damned?" Niklaus nods once and I push back my hair. "I do, in some ways. My existence has been god-awful, sometimes. But some of that led me to my best friends. Best lovers. Greatest enemies. Greatest stories. Fate isn't cruel because it wants to be. It's cruel because life is."

"People say you're a turncoat. A liar. A betrayer. That's some of the nicer things."

Somehow, I understand that there's no malicious intent behind Niklaus' words. He's asking, in a way, if it's true. Is it? "I know," I say quietly.

He waits for my answer.

"I deserve it, you know," I say. The air whips around us and I turn my head towards him. "The stake. Fire. The worst of it."

"Why?" 

Such a tiny word. Laced with so many possibilities. "The people aren't wrong. I've...I've been a bad friend to almost everyone. A bad everything. There's things I've done that God will never forgive me for. That I'll never forgive me for. But I don't deserve the stake for that."

"Then for what?"

Curiosity is a sin and a blessing. We search for answers we know we shouldn't seek, in hopes of enlightenment. Of a greater understanding. Niklaus thinks it a blessing. He should know it is a sin.

"This."

With a singular motion, I crack his neck and he falls back onto the roof, dead. Deader, I should say. He'll be fine in a few hours. By then, I'll be halfway to France and Will will be sleeping, drooling, whatever.

Crouching down beside him, I say softly, "You forgot to add psychopathic bitch to your list, Niklaus."

The night welcomes me into her arms. 

ok, ok, how do we feel about this? learning a bit more about niklaus and will, getting a view of nadya's sense of the world? will update again soon, comment and vote!!

otters are adorable, k