Lypophrenia《Zhanyi version》

Chapter 8

The only thing I need to remember is you.

You are the one that I can't forget, whatever happens, I must remember you.

You are the only one with the answers.

Wherever you are, wait for me...

But who are you...?

***

The first soft streak of today's dawn fell onto the face of the young angelic man whose shoulders were slumbered down as if he was taken into a deep sleep, the small flashlight was still on and held in between his slender fingers while a small lonely tear trickled its way down.

He knew that he had forgotten something important over time, but only now did he realize what it was and how important this person was in his past and how much he still affected his present life, all those old memories that coiled around inside his mind without clear sight were all gone now.

All he was searching for this whole time was that one single name of the boy that changed his life and reason for existence.

Xiao Zhan.

All this time he lived he never understood his reason for existing, his mom once told him that the two most important days in his life would be the one he was born and the day he finds out why . . .

But throughout those years he somewhere deep inside his heart knew why he continued living through the hardships, he lived for the reason of love, after all, he was imprisoned by the love he couldn't get, the boy who left him behind broken, yet he was different from others.

The young man bit on his lower lip till he could taste the metal flavour of fresh blood inside his mouth, he had been searching all along those years for that one single person that was around his mind without a name.

He never understood why he was so desperate to find the name of the boy who was every day inside his mind like a ghost, but now the puzzle was finally complete although he still felt an unexplainable silence inside him, a craving for that what was gone.

The advertent he had seen today went around in his mind, the advertent that showed that Zhan was in a good position right now, he became a famous actor, and he had no reason to meet the desperate young man, and who knows if he even remembered him.

Even to the young man it all still felt like a daze of a lucid dream he wished was just a dream or rather an old nightmare, that he would wake up again in his parents embrace and could smile because he was alive and buried with love, yet he knew those were only old remembrances of that what was only an illusion of the past.

A deep sigh that was filled with burdens was heaved by the young man who felt centuries-old by just reading his past memories that he had long forgotten, as dust fell over it, in the past he used to wish to be the same as others, he found it horrible to forgot what happened every day, until he started to use it as an escape, after all, sometimes some things we prefer to forget, and so thus he tried to use it in his advance.

More tears found its way out of the eyes that hid more secrets than the universe, and the soft strike of light touched the man's face.

He had survived for this long without a reason why, right now he was a 22 years old man who had no purpose in life, but finally found out why he had survived and what that missing piece was, yet the question now to him was, what now?

The man closed his eyes massaging his temples while thousands of thoughts ran through his mind, did Zhan perhaps forget about him?

When he opened his eyes again and was about to close the notebook the young man noticed a small paper sticking out, it was white as the wings of an angel, and he carefully took out the paper.

He opened it only to discover this was not his handwriting, it was the handwriting that looked familiar yet unknown to him, and he opened the paper to read the last note that was left behind for him.

The note he never received . . .

Word count: 720 words