Lypophrenia《Zhanyi version》

Chapter 4

9 years ago . . .

The moment I woke up today I opened you to read what happened yesterday.

Everything that my eyes proceeded to read felt like a deja vu, a dream that was blurred as if I was looking through fogged glasses as if I wasn't able to see what was happening, but I could still feel the rush of excitement running through my veins and the butterflies flying through my stomach endlessly.

When I finally finished reading only one thought went through my mind, would he come today too, as he promised me . . . ?

I shook the thought away while I went down to take breakfast, the scent of fresh-baked bread filled the whole bakery, so I knew daddy was already busy, so I ran down the stairs as if I was able to fly every moment which made me almost, but not yet trips over my own feet.

"Little klutz that you are," a voice that didn't belong to my father spoke, and I looked up only to meet Zhan's eyes, and because I was so focused on him I tripped over the last few steps, luckily for Zhan's fast reflection he could catch me.

I coughed awkwardly before moving away from Zhan's warm embrace, scratching my head lightly.

"What are you doing here?" I looked at him and he flashed me a smile that looked like a burst of sunshine.

"I'm an early bird like my mom used to call me, so I thought about getting some fresh bread before my dad would wake up, then your father started to talk to me, asking some-" I sighed deeply, please dad, please don't tell me you said something embarrassing.

"Something wrong?" Zhan smirked as if he was able to read my thoughts, I pouted.

"But what did you truly come for?" I heard some shuffling of my dad who probably was listening to us.

"Aish, seems like you have seen through me, anyways I came here like I promised you yesterday, after your attempt of . . . Anyways I wanted to write a letter to our future selves," he put his arm over my shoulder with a broad smile on his face.

I shook my head at his silly smile, and let the way upwards towards my room, once again I heard some shuffling behind us, so I threw a glance back and saw my dad his eyes peeking when he realized I caught him he winked before turning away.

***

Zhan looked around my room, walking towards my closet which was a photo place of my parents and me when we were all together . . .

"You look like your mother," he looked at me with a small nod towards the photo.

"I know, many people told me although I can't remember much of her anymore . . ." A silence fell down between us, not an uneasy silence, but a silence that felt somewhat comforting as if he understood like no other what I went through all this time.

"My mother died too . . ." My eyes widened at his words, and for once I didn't see the bubbly boy when I looked in his eyes, instead, I saw a whole other world, I saw a boy who was broken due to everything that happened, but still somehow proceeded to smile through a hard time . . .

" . . . ." The silence fell back between us while I fidget with my fingers, not knowing what to say.

"Remember a few days ago when I took you to the beach?" I nodded at him, "my mother loved calm places like the sea or the forest, but one day she just went away, weeks went by in which we couldn't find her, it was as if she disappeared from the earth, gone from existence only in our memories she remained. Then a few weeks later her body was found . . ." He took a shaky breath while he slowly sat down on my bed, and I stood next to the window looking at him. "Her body was found in the sea, she had died due to drowning, some say she wanted to end her own life, others say it must have been an accident, but my mother loved the sea, she loved the beach like no one else, it was impossible that she could have drowned by accident, for days and weeks I refused to eat or come out of my room, but the day I finally left my room I changed. A part of me died the very same day with the hope I had left that my mother was still alive, I never expected to be the same person again."