Remember Me

The Sanctuary

When Simon parked at the Sanctuary, the other Saviours regarded Rick with almost disgusted looks. Rick remembered that Simon had told him that only he and Arat knew of Negan's current state. Knew everything about Negan and Rick. Simon grabbed him by the arm harshly.

"Unload all the shit. I'm going to talk to Negan." Simon yelled, and they did as they were told. Simon was rough with Rick until they were out of the other Saviours sight, and then let go of his arm, letting Rick walk on his own.

"I'll go in first. Just make sure he's alright, you wait in the hall." Simon instructed as they climbed up a flight of stairs. Rick found that he was a little nervous, mostly because he didn't know what he was about to see. When they reached the end of a long hallway, Simon planted him to the left of the door.

"Stay right here. I'll be back." Simon went to the door, opening it slowly. Rick peeked in, and caught a glance of Arat sitting beside Negan on a bed. Then, Simon shut the door, and Rick was left alone with his thoughts. What if Negan didn't want to see him? What if he shut down when he saw Rick? What if one of the other Saviours caught Rick here talking to their boss, who he'd happened to have slept with? Rick leaned on the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had no clue what he'd say if another Saviour happened to see him here. The door opened slowly, and Simon stood there.

"Come on." Simon motioned for Rick to follow, and Rick got off the wall, walking into the room. The room itself was a mess, with clothes everywhere. Arat was still on the bed, and Rick found it strange to see her with her arm around Negan, showing genuine affection. Negan was still, slumped on the bed, with his head down. Simon closed the door quietly, and Rick shot a quick glance at him to find he was at the door. Arat looked at Rick, and then got up.

"We're going to let you two talk." Arat informed him, giving Negan's shoulder one last squeeze. Negan looked up, and saw Rick. Rick stopped walking, going still as Negan observed him. Arat brushed by Rick, going for the door. He heard the door open, and click shut as the two left the room. The moment they left Negan got up, taking a step away from Rick. It hurt, badly, but Rick could understand why.

"Do you remember?" Rick questioned, and Negan was silent. Rick took another few steps forward, but for every step he took towards him, Negan stepped back. When he hit the wall, Rick opted to stop walking, so he didn't freak him out anymore.

"Negan." Rick said softly, and Negan shrugged a little.

"I don't know. Stuff keeps coming to me in little bursts... I don't know if it's real or not, Rick." Negan sounded like he was on the verge of tears, and Rick wanted nothing more than to hug him, and hold him close. Tell him that everything would be alright.

"Why don't we sit down, talk about it." Rick proposed, and Negan hesitated, but nodded slowly. Inching towards the bed, Rick let Negan sit down first, then sat down, leaving a little distance between them.

"What do you remember?" Rick asked gently.

"I remember um... the people at the camp in Atlanta... I remember... Shane and I's.. relationship?" Negan tried, looking at Rick desperately for help.

"Shane was my best friend. When the virus hit, I was in a coma, in the hospital. I'd been shot. Shane got you, Carl and Judith to safety, and you two started... I don't know if you were dating or just fucking." Rick admitted, and Negan nodded slowly.

"Okay..." Negan took a breath, furrowing his brow. Rick shifted a little closer to Negan, so desperate to be close to him, and he heard Negan's breath catch as he looked at Rick for a brief moment. Rick decided to stay where he was after that.

"I remember I was with... Glenn? And Daryl? We were in a mall... there were so many of the... dead ones. I told them to go, and I hit my head hard." Negan frowned a little.

"How about things with me? What do you remember about me?" Rick pushed a little. Negan was quiet for a long time, and Rick almost repeated the question.

"I remember seeing you again for the first time since everything went to shit." Negan said softly, and Rick sucked in a breath.

"I remember... holding Judith in my arms.. when you got out of that truck..." Negan's hand wiped at his face, and Rick wondered if Negan was crying. He'd never seen Negan like this, this weak, this vulnerable. It made his chest ache, made him want to wipe the tears from Negan's face and promise that everything would be alright.

"I remember before the apocalypse. Meeting you, being with you. I think I remember everything." Negan admitted, and Rick felt hope bloom in his chest.

"Yeah?" Rick said softly, and Negan nodded. Finally looking at Rick, this time with his eyes a little red, and Rick realized he had been crying.

"Yeah." Negan whispered.