Remember Me

Simon and Arat

For the next few weeks, much to everyone's disappointment, Rick refused to attack the Saviours. When Negan came to get his share the week after the Judith incident, he got Lucille too. Rick was waiting at the gate, the bat in hand, ready to see Negan and listen to whatever ridiculous pickup lines the man had this time. But, Negan didn't speak to Rick. As a matter of fact, Rick felt like he was avoiding him completely, which was odd. It had been three weeks since the Judith incident when Negan didn't show up. It was only Simon and Arat. The next week, Negan didn't come again, and they were a day early.

"Where's Negan?" Rick questioned. He'd approached the gate when he'd heard their cars approaching. He was sick of Negan avoiding him, intending to corner the taller man and demanding he tell Rick just what was wrong. Simon took one look at him, and looked at Arat.

"We need to talk. Me, you and Arat." Simon declared, and Rick glanced at Michonne, who was looked at him curiously.

"About?" Rick questioned, but Simon had already grabbed his arm, hauling him towards his house. Arat followed, shooting a sharp glare at Daryl and Michonne, who had tried to follow. When they reached Rick's house, Carol was seated outside, with Judith on her lap, and Carl sitting beside her.

"Carol, take Judith and Carl to your house." Rick threw out before Simon dragged him inside. Arat kicked the door closed behind him, and Simon threw Rick on his couch.

"Rick Grimes is your real name?" Simon demanded, and Rick snuck a glance at Arat, who was positioned by the door.

"Hey!" Simon yelled, and Rick turned to look at him.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Rick inquired, and Simon started pacing, shooting a stress-filled look at Arat.

"Simon. Relax." Arat called, and Simon stopped pacing, now opting to bite his nail.

"What the hell is going on?" Rick asked.

"You knew Negan. Didn't you?" Simon demanded, and Rick felt his blood run cold. He glanced back at Arat again, who was watching him expectantly.

"What makes you think that?" Rick questioned, looking between the two of them. Arat left her spot at the door, standing behind Rick on the couch. Simon put his hands on the back of the couch, pinning Rick down.

"Answer the question, Rick." Simon growled, and Rick swallowed hard.

"Simon, lay off." Arat shoved his shoulder, and Simon took a step back.

"I did." Rick finally found his voice, and Simon looked at him with wide eyes. Rick felt Arat go rigid behind him. Simon stood up, at his full height, silent for a long time.

"What's it to you?" Rick demanded, his curiosity getting the best of him. Simon resumed pacing, and this time Arat took the wheel.

"We um... we heard Negan talking to someone. Or maybe himself. He's just been acting really funny since the whole thing with your daughter... Judith?" Arat seemed to be guessing the name, and Rick found himself nodding, confirming that she guessed right. He felt like her knowing his daughters name shouldn't sit right with him, that he should want to hurt her for just knowing Judith's name. But he found that he didn't care.

"What was he saying?" Rick questioned, remembering that she mentioned Negan was talking to someone.

"He kept mumbling stuff about you, Judith. Someone named Carl? And Daryl, Carol, Glenn, I know those are people that live here. Then he said something about a woman named Andrea? And someone named Shane? Um... he mentioned Dale... Sophia, Ed... Amy... T-Dog... Merle..." Simon trailed off, clearly trying to remember names. Rick recoiled at the mention of all those people, the memories of all their deaths hitting him like a ton of bricks. Both Simon and Arat saw him flinch, and Arat went around the couch to stand beside Simon.

"You know who those people are, don't you?" Arat questioned, and Rick wanted to sink into the couch. He didn't want to talk about Andrea, the woman he had failed to save. T-Dog, who had died saving Carol. Poor, innocent Sophia, who he'd failed to save as well. Amy, who had been so sweet and caring, and had gotten the harsh, gruesome death she never deserved. But Shane was the one person he didn't want to talk about. Shane, who had been his best friend since high school. Shane, who had always been there for Rick, when he had Carl, when he had Judith, when Lori died, when he got with Negan. When Negan died. And then he'd been forced to kill Shane.

"I did." Rick muttered, eyes dropping to the hardwood floors. Arat and Simon were quiet for a moment, and in Rick's peripheral, he saw them exchange glances.

"You did?" Simon seemed to want to double check what he was hearing.

"Except for me, Carl, Judith, Daryl, Carol and Glenn, they're all dead." Rick met Simon's gaze. For the first time, the two in front of Rick seemed to show emotions. Arat looked down at the ground, and Simon pressed his lips together.

"I'm sorry. We've all lost someone and that... that sucks." Simon rubbed his face tiredly, and Rick nodded, getting up on his feet.

"Negan knew them." Rick added, and Simon tensed.

"That's why we're here. To talk about Negan." Arat piped up, and Rick looked at her.

"We have... something we have to admit..." Simon started, and Rick sat down hesitantly, bracing himself for the worst.