Remember Me

Memory

"When I found Negan, he was unconscious in a mall. Bleeding from the head, under a display, away from the dead ones. I thought he was dead." Simon started, and it was Rick's turn to get tense, eying them warily.

"I started to get his guns, but he said... 'Daryl'... he thought I was Daryl.. I couldn't just leave him there. So, I brought him back, helped him recover with Arat. At the time, it was only a handful of us. Me, Arat and a few others. Negan was the one that started the Saviours, that gained a following." Simon continued, and Rick watched him.

"When we brought him back, he couldn't tell us anything. He couldn't even tell us his name." Simon chuckled softly, and Arat glanced at him.

"We figured out his name was Negan, but he could barely remember anything else. He didn't know where he came from, he didn't even know why he'd called me Daryl. But, when he was drifting in and out of consciousness, while he was healing the first few days he was with us, he kept saying Rick. Over and over again, we couldn't understand why. He would call your name in his sleep, when we were trying to feed him, checking his vitals. When he woke up, he had no idea who Rick was." Simon explained, and at that, Rick flinched. Imagining Negan alone, in some random place, scared, cold. Calling Rick's name but getting nothing in return. It made Rick's throat burn, and tears well in his eyes. He prayed they didn't see. But Arat did.

"He wasn't just a friend, was he Rick?" she asked, and he was quiet.

"Just tell me how he got to you." Rick mumbled.

"Once he healed, he took the title of leader, and got a following. That's really it." Simon finished, and Rick was silent.

"Who was Negan to you, Rick?" Arat demanded, and Rick wished she hadn't asked. He wished that she wouldn't care, that he hadn't reacted the way he did. But, it was too late for that.

"He was my boyfriend." Rick answered flatly, and they were all dead quiet.

"We met before the world went to shit. I'd lost my wife a few months prior when she had Judith, and I met him at a bar. He hit it off with my kids, Carl and Judith, and we started dating. I was a cop - with the guy Shane he was talking about - and I got shot on duty. I went into a coma, and when I woke up everything had already happened. Shane got Negan, Carl and Judith out to safety. With all those other people." Rick took a shaky breath, not realizing he'd started crying.

"I thought I lost them forever. When I saw him, holding Judith..." Rick stopped, looking down at his hands.

"How did you... lose him?" Simon asked hesitantly.

"He went out on a run with Daryl and Glenn. They told me there was a hoard of walkers, that they thought he'd gotten bit, and he told them to just go, that he'd catch up. They came back and he never caught up. I thought he died." Rick responded quietly.

"I'm sorry.. we kept him from you all this time..." Simon started, but Rick got up, shaking his head.

"Don't be. He didn't remember me anyways, he probably never will again." Rick replied.

"That isn't totally true. He's remembering names, it's a good sign." Arat argued. Rick was quiet. He hated that he was getting his hopes up, because he knew that he'd just get them crushed if Negan didn't remember him. It sucked.

"Yeah. We'll see." Rick said quietly.