Find the one without looking for it?

Ch 2 - Broken Pieces

You know what hurts too much? It's when someone made you feel special yesterday but makes you feel like you're a nobody today.

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Raine

Masakit. Sobra akong nasasaktan sa ginawa nya sa akin. Ilang linggo na akong namamalagi dito sa Isla ngunit hindi pa rin matanggal ang sakit na idinulot ng pagmamahal ko kay Jayme.

I know it's a process and can't take the pain in the snap of a finger, but at least I am expecting myself to slowly move my feet forward but I can't. It feels like taking one step forward and two steps backward.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsisimula. I have been distant from everybody. I only talked to my parents and no one else. Alam ko na mali na sarilinin ko lahat pero eto ang paraan na alam ko ngayon.

My mind is too clouded with emotions. I can't think straight. I didn't do anything bad. Nagmahal lang ako ngunit nakalimutan ko magtira para sa sarili ko.

I am trying to keep myself busy here pero I still can't stop my tears from flowing. Muli ko na naman naalala ang plan ko to surprise Jayme for our Anniversary this month. It should have been our 3rd year. Dito ko sya balak dalhin. Actually wala pa ako ni isang dinala dito sa mga naging girlfriends ko. I had this promise to myself na ang dadalhin ko dito is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. It should have been Jayme. All along I was already planning for our future together. Pero niloko nya ako and the worst is, the whole time we were together "kuno" ay hindi pala totoo. It was all because of money. She needs me not only for her finances, ang masakit ay para sa kanila ni Kevin. Ginamit nila ako. Masakit. Gusto ko na mawala ang sakit na to pero paano?

Kahit anong gawin ko, sya pa rin ang naiisip ko. Pagurin ko man ang sarili ko, Oo nakakatulog ako sa pagod pero pag gising ko ,pangulila at sakit ang nararamdaman ko.

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Gwyneth

It's been weeks since I last spoke with Raine and I am damn worried. I know she's hurting but she knows that I am always here for her. I love her.

I am trying to call her but to no avail, it seems pretty hard to reach her. She doesn't want to take any calls. It's frustrating. I called Mommy Aria and Daddy Sev (yan ang tawag ko sa parents nya) not to ask for Raine's whereabouts because as we always say that it is Raine's story to tell and we will wait for her to be ready to open up, but just called them to make sure that she is fine.

I am here at the office but my mind is nowhere. I want to go and hug here but I respect her decision to be alone. I can't do anything but to wait for her. Waiting is like an agony but I need to be patient. I need to wait for her to be ready.

Raine is one of the important person in my life aside from my family of course. I still remember the day I meet her.

I was only four years old then. Kasama ako ng parents ko for their business trip. Well lagi naman nila akong kasama. Busy man ang magulang ko sa pag handle ng negosyo pero never nila pinaramdam sa akin na wala silang time for me. In fact wala silang na miss na activities ko sa school. Sabi nga ng Mom and Dad ko na I am the most important thing in the world and they will trade everything for me. Kaya kahit busy sila, when it comes to me, they will always find time.

Going back, it was one of my Dad's and Mom's business trip in Hong Kong. Syempre kasama ako. Favorite baby nila ako eh.. Yabang no! You will know later why I am the most love and favourite 🤩.

Anyways, ayun nga nasa hotel ang conference. Mabait naman ako kaya kasama ako hanggang sa venue but not inside the conference room
syempre. Bawal na iyon.

Tita Jean and I were just in one of the restaurants kasi we need to wait for my parents. It was the first day of the conference and Dad told me that they only need to be there for couple of hours so we can just wait for them at the restaurant then we will go around the city.

I can patiently wait naman. Hindi ako mainipin. I can stay in one place as long as I have a book to read or I have my drawing materials or coloring books. And I had those during that time and hindi ko alam bakit I want to roam around the hotel.

Tita Jean was there at binabantayan nya ako so I need to pull some strings to get out of her sight.
Syempre tinawagan ko si Mommy at paawa effect na payagan ako na umalis dun sa table namin ni Tita Jean papunta dun sa Christmas tree. But me being me, hindi lang yun ang plano ko. I have other plans in my mind.

Isang katok sa pinto ang gumising sa akin from my day dream remembering how me and Raine meet 23 years ago.

Si Isa pala. My loyal friend. Kasama ko na sya since nag start ako dito sa company.

Yes Isa? Is there anything that you want from me?

Yap. You need to sign all these documents. Remember I told you we're not going home today unless you finish everything on your desk and this and this and this.

Hahaha grabe ka Isa ha. Ano gusto mo magutom ako dito? Ang hard mo sa akin ha! Sumbong kita kay Mommy.

Please Isa uwi na ako please🙏🏻. Paawa effect with my chinita eyes.

Oi! Gywneth Montemayor !!! Hindi mo ako madadala sa mga paganyan ganyan . Umayos ka! Pirmahan mo yan lahat at tapusin mo lahat ng kelangan tapusin at papayagan kita sa 1 week off mo na yan.

Hay.. kahit close kami ni Isa . Hindi talaga ako makatakas dito. But I am thankful to her kasi kahit papano naaaliw nya ako at napapangiti despite pf me being worried of Raine. Hay ano kaya ginagawa ng babaeng iyon.

Muli ko na naman naalala ang naging tagpo namin sa Hong Kong. Syempre my other plan was to get out of her sight. I was young then I don't think of any harm doing it. Ganun naman talaga ang bata.

Hoy Gwyneth!!!

Araw naman Isa bakit ka nambabatok? Inaano ba kita ha!

Hay nako Gwyneth. Hindi ka matatapos sa ginagawa mo kung mag day dream ka ng mag day dream ka dyan. Hala kilos na!!!

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Thank you sa mga nag abala na basahin ang story ko.   I am not a writer and hindi ako marunong magsulat. Kung mali man po, please don't hesitate to send me a message. I accept criticism.

I can't promise anything on my story. I am
just writing to keep my mind busy. I will try to post an update every fortnight (on a saturday) if I can.

Thank you sa lahat ng nag pray for my healing. A not so easy journey. I am on a remission and I am keeping my faith para  tuloy tuloy na healthy na ako.

I feel occasional pain which I reckon is normal for a person who went two surgeries. All your prayers means a lot.