I guess it's over now.
I remember when we first started talking.
I asked you if you would tell me about lashton.
I remember when I was an idiot,
and told you I was falling for you.
Surprisingly, you said you were falling for me too.
I can never forget,
I sat up that whole night reading that message over and over again
to make sure it wasn't just in my head.
I remember when I asked you if you would be my girlfriend,
and you said yes.
I remember the first time I told you I loved you,
and you said you loved me back.
I remember a lot of things,
some good, some bad.
Because I do really love you,
and our relationship had it's ups and downs.
But I was trying to get through them.
I thought we could make it together.
I guess not.
I remember you told me you were scared.
And I said I was scared too,
but you promised me we were going to make it,
together.
You promised me you were going to stick with me,
no matter what happened.
The problem with us today is that,
we make promises before we know we can keep them.
And maybe "promise" is just a word to you.
But to me it means something.
It means you're going to do it no matter what.
And I promised you, that I would be there for you,
no matter what.
But maybe you don't want me to keep my promise.
I miss holding your hands.
It gave me a sense of safety.
It made me feel like someone was there for me.
That someone was there when bad things would happen,
and she would be there, and hold me tight,
and tell me everything was going to be alright.
I miss hugging you.
It made me feel closer to you.
Not just physically,
but emotionally too.
I wished we could stay like that forever.
But that's never going to happen.
I've said before,
that I will ALWAYS
put your happiness before mine.
No matter what happens,
I want you to be happy,
and if the time comes where I have to make a decision,
where it comes down to my happiness or yours,
I will not hesitate for one second to put yours before mine.
Who knew this day would come?
If I let you go, I will never be happy with myself,
but it's clear to me now it's going to make you happy.
So I will keep my promise.
I hope after all that I've done,
that you're happy.
Thats all I want.
No amount of tears I can cry,
or apologies I can say,
will bring you back, I know that.
But I just hope,
that one day,
you find someone who treats you right.
Someone who treats you like you deserve to be,
because you are the most amazing person I've met.
And I'm not just saying that,
because you really are.
You're beautiful no matter what you do,
and not just on the outside.
You're even more beautiful on the inside,
just not many people get to see that.
And I'm thanking the gods,
that I'm one of the lucky ones,
who got to see the real you.
This poem is a mess,
just like I am.
But I just want you to know,
I'm sorry.
for everything I did and did not do.
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me.
I'm sorry I wasn't the boyfriend you always wanted.
And most of all,
I'm sorry for not trying hard enough.
I love every last bit of you,
but I guess this is goodbye.
