Hatred.
I hate my life.
I know there are people out there,
who have it much worse,
and to them, my life is probably a blessing.
But in my eyes,
I hate it.
I hate what I've done to my once called friends.
I hate what I've done to my once called lover.
I hate what I've done to my family.
I hate what I've done to everyone.
I hate that I'm insecure.
I hate that I'm jealous.
I hate that I can't trust anyone.
I hate that everyone's good at something.
Everyone can do at least one thing in life,
that differentiates them from the rest of the world.
The only thing that makes me different from everyone else,
is that I can't seem to do anything right.
I hate myself so much.
I hate that I can't just trust her.
I hate that when I try,
I will always go back to being insecure.
I hate that I keep trying and trying.
I keep picking myself up,
time after time, after time again.
But I hate that.
I hate that I keep trying,
to make things right.
Because I know,
even if I try,
I'm going to let everyone else down once again.
I hate that I can't get anything right.
Some people expect so much from me,
and I fail to meet anyone expectations.
And lately, people don't even expect anything from me.
And even then, I still can't do things right.
I hate that I keep trying to fix myself,
but nothing works.
I hate that people give me second chances,
because I know, in my heart,
I don't deserve them.
I want to disappear from this world.
From everyone's memories.
So that even when I'm gone,
I won't disappoint anyone.
I hate my life.
