Little stump

CHAPTER 17

      The drive back to my house with Monty was silent. Neither of us said anything, and it was clear that he knew something was bothering me. He kept glancing back and forth, feeling intimidated from the awkwardness. I didn't pay him any mind though. I was too busy thinking about a particular Bastard.

     Turns out, Damien was an asshole afterall. It also seemed that forgetting about him was the correct option all along, how could I have even thought that anything would change between us. All because of what, half-assed confessions that wouldn't even have happened if he wasn't being annoying. I was an idiot, I couldn't count how many times I'd called myself that since I came back from Scotland.

    There was just something about Damien, that made me abandon all logic of common sense. Not falling in love was common sense, however, I'd gone ahead and defiled that logic too. The pain in my chest was the result and punishment of my attachment to Damien. I really needed to get him out of my head, I also really needed to mean that sentence.

    I groaned loudly as the thought entered my mind. I needed to mean it, every single time I thought about forgetting Damien, there was a stupid voice in the back of my mind that liked to ask me "what if?" What if he changes, what if he didn't mean it, what if he likes you? I needed to kill that voice too, because every single time it had given me doubt and hope about my resolve to forget him, Damien would give me pain in return. It was crazy, it hadn't even been up to two weeks since I'd met this Damien, and he'd already made me feel over a thousand emotions.

       Monty finally decided to break the awkward silence. "Is something wrong, Maddy?" He asked, his eyes were still fixated on the road, his posture upright and his expression serious. His torn knuckle was still on the steering wheel. I watched as he squeezed his palm on the wheel, ripping the tears on his knuckle even wider.

     I frowned. Stretching forward, I placed my palm on his knuckles, guiding his hand off off the steering wheel, he only looked at me and smiled. I didn't reply him, though.

   Monty sighed, he seemed worried about my silence. "Maddy are you sure you're okay. You've been so quiet, did that man do something to you?".

    Monty was really starting to annoy me with all the noise he was making, he needed to shut up. It wasn't like he cared anyway, he only wanted to boss me around like he always did. "What's it to you, Monty? It's not like you care anyways" I snapped.

    He sighed. "Maddy, I care about you" he said.

    "No! You don't. If you did, you wouldn't have cheated, if you did, you wouldn't have tried to hurt me, if you did, you wouldn't have given me hope when you knew you couldn't fulfil your responsibilities". I was getting angry, I knew the words weren't meant for him. They were meant for a white haired, blue eyed eighteen year old boy .

     However, I couldn't vent at him, so I was going to vent at someone I actually could vent at. His actions tonight had destroyed me. Damien knew what he was doing, I bet he took me to the club on purpose, just to humiliate me, just to show me exactly what I was worth to him. Which was nothing.

   The fact that I couldn't even shout at him or get angry because he didn't make any commitment to me only added to my frustration, the frustration I was now letting out on Monty.

     "Maddy." Monty started. "I know I've made a lot of mistakes in the past, okay. Trust me, I know, but here I am trying to make up for it. Honestly, I know I don't deserve another chance. Shit, I know I don't even fucking deserve to look at your face again, but I can't help it. The only thing I want is you. You're the only one on my mind day and night. What else can I do other than come here and beg you like this. I'm sorry, Maddy. I'm fucking sorry. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm sorry nonetheless". His voice had risen too, but the content of his words spoke much louder than the actual volume of his voice.

    Could Monty actually be sorry, he'd never been able to accept the fact that he made a mistake. He'd always been so adamant on his mindset that he believed he was always in the right. However, tonight, for the first time that I'm aware of, Monty admitted he'd made a mistake. The shock was unbearable. I didn't want to answer him, though. He was right, he didn't deserve my forgiveness.

    "Park here". I said, realising we'd reached my house and using the opportunity to avoid his apology. I didn't want to deal with that.

    I got out of the car immediately, not even bothering to look back at him. He stepped out of the car quietly, sighing as he realised I'd put the conversation to a halt.

    I took out my keys and unlocked the front door. Ever since my dad came, mom had been particularly stern about locking the door. I walked in after opening the door, leaving it open as an invitation to Monty.

    He walked in and stood awkwardly, I went to the kitchen and took the first aid box hanging by the wall. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, so Monty could leave.

    I sat on the one of the dining chairs, pulling out another one and patting it, as a gesture for him to sit down.

    He settled on the seat immediately, raising up his bruised knuckle so I could inspect it. I immediately got to work. Carefully, I cleaned the wounds and disinfected them, wrapping them neatly in a pair of bandages.

    "You're so gentle when you work" Monty commented, was he serious?

     "Well, I did study to become a nurse". I replied, not even taking his complement seriously.

     "No, you're especially gentle with me." He said, smiling as if he'd just said the most meaningful sentence in the world. "I've missed having you care for me".

      I rolled my eyes and stood up after I realised I was done. "Done" I said, immediately walking to the kitchen, not even giving his comment any attention.

     As I walked back to the dining room after dropping the first aid box. I looked at him, he sat exactly where he was before smiling at my figure. He was creeping me out with the smile and I didn't want him to start getting hope that didn't exist. "You might wanna only flirt with single girls, I don't think you can handle anyone's boyfriend with that knuckle". It was a low blow, especially after the apology he just made, but it was necessary, I wasn't going to take him back, no matter how hard he tried, I couldn't go easy on him and make him think I would give in.

     Monty's expression changed, his smile turned upside down as his head hung low. He looked up and opened his mouth to speak, but an aggressive knock on the door stopped him.

    "Maddy, open this fucking door!" The voice belonged to Damien. My eyes widened immediately.

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