Restoration

Chapter 35

**

"I'm not here to beg for your forgiveness, because I know I don't deserve it," he'd told her.

Elara had thought of so many things she was going to say to the man who betrayed her and pushed her into Bellatrix's arms. And even though her hate grew in size within the years, so did her compassion. She slowly understood why he had made that decision. Either the love of his life or a girl with a complicated past. A girl who was nothing to him.

Too tired of her own problems, Elara listened and allowed him to speak. Remus Lupin had a long monologue ready for her, as to what happened after, how Bellatrix must have recruited someone to obliviate him. And then everything went dark, up until Dumbledore handed him the liquid memories a few hours earlier.

"I'm here to help you," Lupin concluded.
-"Oh? With what?"
"Help you to go down the right path."
-"Fine. But if you come to preach to me, I'll set you on fire."

Agreeing to leave her be until she asks for help, Lupin was to stay at Hogwarts as an assistant of some sort. 'To help out with the security' was the official reason. He would pop into classes at random, and somehow, Elara was present in all of them. But he knew how to stay in the background, without being seen, as Elara gave him a very convincing promise when they parted their ways.

Talking about Lupin's presence became something the group knew better not to talk about. Or the fact that Anthony revealed Draco's secret and made Elara completely confused. Although Blaise tried speaking to Draco about it, he fell on deaf ears once more as he told him to mind his business.

Practicing for their exams, students were now allowed to perform magic in their free time. Although under supervision, everyone left their books behind in the library to have a go at transformation outside, entertaining themselves. Although rarely stressed about her school work, Elara began sweating as she failed to conjure a Patronus for the fourth time.

"Just think of the time you met me," Anthony winked at her.

"Or the time Anthony accidentally transfigured into a cactus for two hours," Tracey chuckled, earning an eye roll from him.

While letting out a loud sigh through her nose, Elara knew not even her friends could help her out by conjuring a strong charm like that. It was extremely difficult to summon, and once appearing in front of you, you'd have to make sure it stayed there. The happy memory had to have been a strong one.

She felt embarrassed every time her professors made her do it - knowing full and well she wasn't capable of it. And every time they repeated the same mantra, Try harder.

"Some of our memories can be the happiest without us even realizing it," Lupin swayed across the courtyard, "or without us admitting they were one of the happiest moments we'd ever felt," he whispered in her ear as he backed away.

Elara pondered for a moment before she'd raise her wand again. She'd thought of every typically happy memory she could list in her head. Her 5th birthday. Hogwarts letter. Her first year. Making it into quidditch team. Winning games. Christmas at Hogwarts. Mastering difficult spells. Befriending new people. Saving Draco's ass. Saving his ass again. And again.

But none of them were strong enough for a Patronus to appear. She'd started to believe she just didn't have a Patronus charm, to begin with - that she was strong enough on her own. And while that may have been the case, she hoped, deep down, that one day some magical animal would jump out of her wand and dance around her, protecting her.

Everyone's eyes were on her now, once again. A large audience had gathered around her, even though some of them pretended they weren't there for her, looking away and chatting with their friends. But they had all heard the rumours - that she was too dark to cast a Patronus charm. That Bellatrix had ruined her completely and ruined her to join the Death Eaters.