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Death. It was a concept that was dreadful, but familiar to Hotch. His wife, people he failed to save and unsubs had all died on his watch. Death surrounded him like a blanket, throughout his lifetime— maybe a bit too much. You were originally supposed to just be another Unsub he took down, but it didn't turn out.
The man who was known to show no emotion did just as expected in that moment— show none whatsoever. Yet on the inside, he was completely numb, almost like the world around him had suddenly come to a stop. Hotch himself had no idea why he was so torn up about it but he didn't want to think about it so he kept reminding himself that you were just another bad person.
A bad person that he understood. He understood why you killed those men and that alone made him sick to his stomach. It went against everything he stood for but he wasn't oblivious to the obvious. He had grown an attachment to you, causing him to understand you even more and he hated it.
"Today we are gathered here, in honor of Y/n, Y/l/n. She was someone who despite everything was the definition of strength. I found a quote that felt appropriate for this is situation. 'Life can get hard and things can go wrong, but no matter what, you've got to stay strong.' A soul that deserved more than what she was received. Talking to the people who cared greatly about her, she was someone who was resilient and resourceful. Even though, she isn't with us physically, she will continue to be here for us in spirit..."
Penelope, Hotch and Isabelle was dressed funeral appropriate attire, standing alongside one another as they listened to the funeral celebrant speak.
Isabelle decided not to speak, not knowing how to truly feel about it all. It goes without saying she loved Y/n like a sister, so it felt like someone ripped her heart out her chest when the BAU told her you died. But there was a side of you she didn't even know of, which raised so many questions, one of which was did Isabelle ever truly know you.
The memories they created were definitely real and so was the friendship but did use it as coverup?
It hurt to be lead on and not know the truth about someone you thought you knew, to not even have the chance to ask them about it or say goodbye. So Isabelle decided to forgive you, to not be mad at the fact you had a double life but to remember you as the same fearless woman and friend that saved her in the bar that night..
And as Penelope stood in front of her former best friends casket she tried to hide her heart wrenching sobs. She didn't know why, as there was only a few people at the service anyway. You were certainly never a 'people person' but what mattered was that all the people you cared about was there. Even though, some weren't in plain sight, deciding to hide among in the shadows, it was ultimately a peaceful service..
«——————»
Hotch stuck around afterwards, staring at the engraved head stone. It was safe to say he was still beating himself up about the logistics of it. There was rarely any moment in the day that he didn't run over different scenarios as to what he could he done differently that day.
