Gotta Be You

13 Rodney: Any Questions?

It was a beautiful day outside – not a cloud in the sky and a warm, balmy breeze rustling the trees. Rodney was only able to enjoy it for a moment before he was herded onto the bus by the security guard who was outside his door last night (apparently named Chad). They halted at entrance to the bus, and Rodney breathed in the morning air.

"Move along, bot," Chad said brusquely but not unkindly. "We're on a tight schedule."

Rodney nodded, seeing no point in delaying the inevitable. Paris was far, far away from Robot City but perhaps he would be able to escape there and melt into the anonymity of the metropolitan human world. He would stand out as a robot, but he hoped that it was a big enough city for it not to matter.

Rodney surveyed the bus interior. The driver shut the door behind them and the bus jolted to a start. Chad took his seat at the front next to his brethren and shooed Rodney forward into the bus. He stumbled forward, stopping short at the sight of the boys of One Direction seated in leather chairs. Harry was still, seemingly deep in sleep. Niall and Zayn were grinning at Rodney impishly. Liam nodded encouragingly and patted the vacant chair next to him. Rodney sat.

"Now that you've had a night to sleep on all of this and get a handle of what is going on," Liam said kindly, "do you have any questions?"

All the boys looked at Rodney expectantly (except Harry, whose greenish-blueish eyes were still hidden beneath his eye mask).

"I have many, actually." He took a deep breath. After the shock of being sold to an internationally-famous pop boy band wore off, Rodney's inventor mind still had pieces of the puzzle he needed filled in. "What exactly am I supposed to do for you guys? How long do I have to do this? Am I going to be paid? What's stopping me from just walking away? Where's the legal documentation for all of this? Can I tell my parents where I am?"

Zayn held up a hand. "Let's take it one at a time, cowboy," he said.

Liam pulled out a sheath of papers and a pair of stylish spectacles. "It's all here in the contract, Rodney. I'll walk you through it."

The contract was long and complicated, but Rodney was able to parse out the main terms as they related to his wellbeing for the near future: 1) he was to be the official groupie of One Direction, travelling with them to all shows, 2) he would serve as a friendly face for the boys, boosting their ego's and being nice every day, 3) he would serve this role for seven years with no opportunities to terminate "employment" any earlier, 4) he would have no contact with anyone outside the boys of One Direction and their staff without express permission, 5) what's to stop him from walking away is the penalty of being melted down into spare parts, 6) he would be paid $1.60 per day with opportunities for quarterly raises.

"So, what's in it for me?" Rodney said, deadpan. "Besides the generous wages."

Liam glanced at the other boys. "Oh... uh, well – "

"What isn't in it for you?" Zayn countered, leaning forward. "You get to travel the world with a 31-times nominated Teen Choice Awards band. You may even become famous yourself."

Rodney blinked, taken aback. He'd never thought of it that way.

"Aren't you some communist, social justice warrior or something?" Zayn continued. "Surely you'd want a platform to do some good. Get the word out about that Ratchet guy?"

Niall cut in, smirking. "And you get to hang out with the four most desired boys in all the land! Some of our fans would kill for the chance."

Despite Rodney's conclusion to try and be "in" with the boys, he couldn't help himself. "Good thing I'm not a fan," he said sweetly, "Otherwise, you would have a dangerous bot on your hands."