Fault Beneath the Stars (Stray #1)

Prologue

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Prologue

Mahirap at imposibleng magustuhan ka ng lahat ng nakapaligid sa 'yo. To win everyone's approval, you need to be flawless in every way. Iyong tipong dapat bilang mo ang bawat hibla ng mga buhok mo o 'di kaya'y ang bawat yapak mo ay dapat parang anino ng isang multo.

Maybe... everyone wants to be liked by others. Who wouldn't, right?

Katulad ko. I need to put on a facade to be liked by everyone. Kailangan kong intindihin ang lahat. I don't even realize that I'm already suppressing my own feelings. Sa sobrang paghahangad ko na magustuhan ng lahat, hindi ko na namamalayang nasasaktan ko na ang sarili ko... ang sariling damdamin ko.

Siguro ganito kapag lumaki ka sa bahay na walang sumusuporta sa 'yo. A home where you don't even feel like they want you around. Para kang naglalakad sa talukap ng isang manipis at babasaging salamin.

Ginawa ko ang lahat upang makita nila ako. To be liked by my own family, I needed to be perfect in their eyes. So, I excelled in my studies because I knew that was the only way to catch the sparkle in their eyes that seemed like glistening pearls.

Ginalingan ko sa pag-aaral ko, pero kahit isang aksidenteng sulyap ay hindi man lang nangyari.

How can they notice me? Even though I exhaust and starve myself just to perfect exams, score high on projects and recitations, and earn top grades, it's still not enough. There's always something wrong, always one mistake, always second place.

I'm always in second place. When I graduated, I only achieved salutatorian status. Now, as a Grade 12 student, I must become valedictorian. I must rise to the top, striving for the highest grades across the entire batch.

Pero mukhang malabo. It's becoming unlikely for me to achieve that because of Paul Tavin Valdez, my rival in everything. Simula elementary hanggang ngayon.

I know there's no perfect person in the world, but him, I'll compete against. To everyone, he's already perfect. He has it all: good-looking, excels in all subjects, liked by everyone, even the teachers are fond of him.

Kaya ako na palaging pumapangalawa sa kanya ay parang anino niya na lang. Nakakainis pa at sa dinami-daming section ng paaralan na ito ay pinagsama pa talaga kaming dalawa.

"Do you think, class, that all the feelings a person experiences remain valid?"

Sinulyupan ko si Paul nang magtaas ito ng kamay. At the same time, my classmates started to chatter because they already knew what was going to happen.

"Go, baby!"

"Back off, sampalin ko pekpek mo, eh!"

"Paul! Paul! Paul!"

Nang senyasan ni Sir Manyago ang lalaki ay kaagad itong tumayo. Inayos muna nito ang kwelyo niya bago ito tumikhim.

"Yes," sagot niya.

Nakita ko ang pagtaas ng isang kilay ni Sir Manyago. "Paano mo nasabi, Mr. Valdez?"

"All emotions have validity, in my opinion. 'Cause... we view and engage with the world through the lens of our emotions, which are intricate and very personal experiences. Hindi na tayo para husgahan pa at imbaliduhin ang nararamdaman ng isang tao sa isang bagay," parang inaantok na sabi ni Paul pero kahit ganoon ay naandon pa rin ang conviction sa boses nito.

Kaagad din itong umupo nang tumango-tango si Sir dahil mukhang plakado naman ang sagot ng lalaki.

"Ahh! That's my baby!" sigaw ng isang kaklase ko.