The wilting flower -hoseok x bts-

-2-

Hoseok pov...
My trip to the flower shop was my favourite part of each week. I absolutely love flowers.

I also adore the villagers. They're so kind to me. I get lots of confessions, however i cant accept them. I feel so bad every time i say no.

But I'm in love with my neighbour and only friend Jackson. He's helped me through hard times. Like last month. He brought me flowers while i was recovering.

I was smiling to myself just thinking about him. But my face immediately dropped once i reached my house.

I knew my parents would be mad at me since i left without telling them. I was just so excited to go to the flower shop and see the villagers.

my hands became warm from sweat. And i felt as if i can barely stand.

Reaching for the door handle, it suddenly opens revealing my angry father. My blood ran cold as he gripped my shirt and forcibly pulled me into the house.

"Well look who decided to finally come home! Thought you could sneak out?"

I felt a sharp pain on both sides of my jaw from him gripping harshly.

I trembled knowing what was going to happen just from that menacing but all too familiar look in his eyes.

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"Hoseok. Hoseok."

I heard faint taps on my window and knew who it was by his voice.

I stood up and immediately my whole body burned from being beaten for nearly an hour.

Limping towards my window i saw jacksons face twist into anger and concern.

"Why are you here? Did you leave something?" I asked him since he usually comes over late at night so no one sees him.

"I heard you went out today so i came to ask you how it was. But seems like it didn't go to well. Did your parents beat you again?"

My heart warmed hearing that he was concerned for me.

"Nothing I'm not used to. Im alright really. And my trip to the shop was lovely."

I flashed my famous heart smile and he smiled back giving me a hug.

Feeling my face go red I immediately looked down so he doesn't see me.
He suddenly let go and walked back towards the window.

"Okay well i better get going now. Love you buddy, ill see you tomorrow night."

I smiled back but i felt disappointed when he called me buddy.

I know he will never love me back. He's still waiting for his ex to go back to him.

But we both know that wont happen. Since he was cheated on and his ex girlfriend left him for the rich man she was sleeping with their whole relationship.

Honestly he deserves better. And i think i could properly love him. But he only sees me as a friend.

I was getting lost in my thoughts, when i finally decided to take a shower and clean my wounds.

Today was a good day compared to my usual days. I was almost feeling content until i saw HER picture, while looking in my drawer for my night wear.

No... not this again. I felt my eyes start watering. As my skin started tingling. And the voices coming back inside my head. I couldn't stop them.

'Its your fault'
'You deserve this pain'
'Kill yourself'
'You don't matter'
'Useless'
'Monster'
'Killer'

After the last comment i couldn't stop myself. Running to the bathroom in my room. I hastily searched my cabinet for the one thing that keeps me sane.

Holding my knife i use it to cut countless scars on my arms. Blood leaking out onto the floor. But i decided that wasn't enough. I kept cutting more and more. Deeper and deeper till everything became hazy.

I felt empty. I deserved this. I looked at myself in the mirror and remembered what SHE always told me.

'When your hurting... just smile'

I lifted the corners of my lips until i was smiling. I almost looked happy if it weren't for the tears running down my face and the empty look in my ocean blue eyes.

However I knew id be okay. Cause soon ill be with HER.