Revelations [malexmale]

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five

This was it.

It was happening.

It was legitimately fucking happening.

Right fucking now.

And I was not fucking ready.

I realized that as I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, leaning on the porcelain sink and about ready to vomit up everything I'd managed to stuff down my throat for breakfast. What was it, a sausage McMuffin and four hashbrowns? I could practically taste it in my mouth again as I hunched over the sink, staring down into the dark drain at the center.

Oh fuck, I was so not ready for this. Talking about it was one thing, but actually taking part in it? Actually going through with that? That was a whole other fucking story. My arms actually trembled as I grabbed onto the sink, like the sink was some kind of anchor that would keep me from having to walk out of the bathroom and into that room.

Right, that massive room full of people waiting to see me walk down the aisle and meet up with Lucifer at the very end, for literally everyone to see. It was a display. It was nothing more than a display, a show put on for judging eyes.

No, it's a special display just for Lucifer. True. I was doing this because Lucifer wanted to... And yeah, okay, so I wanted to too, but that didn't mean I had to like it. I didn't want all eyes to be locked on me, didn't want all attention focused on me as I made my way down an aisle that was actually only twelve feet, but felt like five fucking miles. The only eyes I wanted to see, to focus on, were Lucifer's.

Right, I told myself firmly, so just do that. Focus on Lucifer. You have a selective attention span. Use it. Yeah, except the pep talk was easier than actually turning around and getting my ass out there.

A knock at the door startled me and I accidentally knocked the bottle of soap off the sink and into the toilet. I cursed, glaring down at the bottle of lavender fresh sitting in a pool of piss in the toilet. I reached up to rake my hands through my hair, taking a deep fucking breath and spread my hands out in front of me to try and chill out.

"What?" I demanded.

"You, uh, good in there?" Came Ambrosius's voice.

"Never better."

"Alright, well, the ceremony starts in like five minutes, so maybe get out here sometime today," Ambrosius responded. I rolled my eyes, annoyed with the little shit, but not feeling comfortable enough to lash back at that. I shook myself out a little, turning back to the mirror over the sink to double check that I at least looked presentable.

I'd chosen a three piece black on black on black suit with a slightly longer than usual jacket, matching pants and shoes. I'd decided against colors. The only color came from my eyes that glowed in the mirror back at me, almost like the Source itself was using my eyes to tell me to suck it up and get out there. I blinked my eyes and looked down at my suit, giving it a tug, adjusting the jacket slightly, even though there was no need for any of that.

I took a deep breath and turned around, gripping the door handle, then letting go and thumping my head against the door.

Come on. This shouldn't be as fucking hard as it was. This was something we'd been planning since the Shifter was disposed of. Actually, if you want to count all those times Lucifer asked me straight up, we'd been planning a lot longer than that.

Ugh.

No. I'm the one who did this. I'm the one who said yes. Not only yes to Lucifer, but yes to the ceremony. Lucifer himself had been shocked when I said yes to the idea of a ceremony, because I knew he wanted a ceremony. He'd love the excuse to invite our families out, to show off our relationship to not only them, but the rest of the world. He loved the excuse to dress up and celebrate. Christ, the angel went fucking nuts over Christmas. How could I expect anything less for a wedding?