Unfiltered Passion (A RadioDust Story)

Oh

I adjust my monocle in the bathroom mirror. The mirror was flashing with images of memories.

"You should ask him out!" Nifty bounced upon her vacuum. That discussion happened in a vacant hallway she was cleaning.

I fixed my bowtie.

"You know I am the only one that could relate to you the most. By the fact that I'm asking you to try it out says a lot," Husker cleaned a glass behind the countertop.

I folded my cuffs, snapping them into place.

"So, how's your romance with Angie going?" Valentino placed his chin in his hand from the opposite end of the couch.

I buckled my belt.

"Never thought I would see the day my worst enemy would fall in love with my boyfriend's right-hand man. I've seen weirder, though," Vox smirked as he passed me in the hallway.

I tuck in my shirt.

"Liking someone can be very challenging, especially when you don't want it. I know it could be stressful; I was stressed when I asked Charlie; it's natural. It's natural for people like us to be in denial and stressed. You have to accept it," Vagatha opened up to me one night when we were left to clean the kitchen.

I slip on my shoes.

"Find somebody, Al," Mimzy muttered on the rooftop.

I comb out my hair, taking a deep breath and glancing at the time, 3:30.

With a snap of my fingers, I was on the rooftop. I glance to where Mimzy and I's conversation happened before concentrating my attention on the center. With a clap of my hands, I spawned in the landscape. I fill the roof with candles. A table drenched with a silky white table cloth in the middle. Plates of some homemade etouffee laid ready, permanently hot.

Hell wasn't pleasant, but during the change of the non-existence day to night, the blood-red sky became a charming fuchsia. Perhaps, I should have said right before sunset, but it's too late now.

I summoned my radio staff, placing the foot securely on the ground. I stood there; the breeze was whisking softly against my skin. I took a deep breath as the elevator door ringed, "Alastor?" No going back now.

"Angel, darling! Let me help you to your seat!" My grin widened as I took Angel by the arms and assisted him to his chair.

"Thanks, Alastor," Angel whispered, glimpsing around at the candlelight. His face lights up with the candles; at least he is enjoying it. "What is all this for, Al?"

I wasn't expecting that question so early, but I suppose better early than never. I took a deep breath, swallowing my pride whole. "I wanted to ask if you-" I felt my face heat up as Angel crooked his head to the side. "I was wondering if you- We could- Do you wanna go out?" Way to be blunt, I saw my shadow cracking up in the corner.

"I'm sorry, what?" Angel's eyes looked like saucers.

"Look, the last few months have been different. I've enjoyed spending time with you. This whole thing- this feeling, it's- different. I like being with you. I know this may be a bit sudden, but I at least want to try a romantic relationship. Nothing serious, I wanna try this and see where it takes us." My feet fidget beneath the table.

Angel stares at me from across the table for what feels like an eternity. It wasn't until his face turned into pity that my heart stopped. "I'm sorry, Alastor, but I don't feel the same way."

The world around me froze, time stop. Did I hear that correctly? Of course, I did. How could I be so foolish? He never saw me more than a friend. I was blind. "Oh," was all I could let out.

Is this a dream? I shut my eyes, trying every desperate attempt to wake myself up. Pinching myself in hopes that I feel nothing like I've always had. For the first time, I felt pain. Pain on my forearm, where I inflicted the wound, and a pain in my chest. My head became clouded; thoughts ran through my head too fast to catch. For the first time in a lifetime, I've opened myself to somebody. I've let my walls down, let them into my heart. Now, I remember why I stopped doing that.

Feelings like this are what is left of my mortal soul. One that has been beaten and crushed since I was a child. Here it is, peaking from the darkness, only to be shattered again.

I've got to get out of here. "Well, I won't worry you any longer. Enjoy your meal; I'll see you tomorrow," I rose from the table and began walking to the elevator.

"Wait! Al!" was the last thing I heard before snapping my fingers. I was in the hallway leading to my room. I began shuffling there, hiding my sour mood behind a giant smile.

"There's Mr. Romantic; where is your lover?" Vox commented as I passed him.

I stare at him, "Shut the fuck up, Vox." I let my smile and radio filter drop for only a second. I hear him stop dead in his tracks and turn around. Too mad to see his reaction, I continue onto my room. I bust open the door and lock it.

Flopping onto my bed, I silently scream at myself. I lost my cool. No doubt Vox will use this against me. I stayed on my bed, not getting up, when I heard knocks on my door. I stayed in until daybreak. I was still hesitant to leave then. It was only when a familiar voice rang from the door that I approached it.