Shane Oneshots (Stardew Valley)

IV. Why Didn't You Stop Me? (Shane)

(A/N: I recommend listening to Why Didn't You Stop Me by Mitski while you read! I've got a few more parts in progress, thank you all for your comments! Enjoy!)

Shane has always struggled with mental illness. Whether it was the inability to get out of bed for his Joja shift, the binge drinking, or the explosive, unexplained anger, there was always some sign or symptom that was always displayed. He hated it, and he knew that it was a bad example for Jas, but there was nothing he felt he could do.

Things were better when he was with the farmer. She would breathe life into him, bring him omelettes in bed when he couldn't bring himself to get up, wash his hair when he was too exhausted; anything he needed, she would bend over backwards to make it happen.

But he was ungrateful. Mean. Angry. He didn't deserve her help, he didn't deserve to be with someone so kind, so gentle. He was a monster.

"I'm leaving," Shane grumbled, tossing the paper-bag clad bottle off the side of the porch, "I can't do this to you anymore."

The farmer halted her planting, turning her head to look at him. "What?"

"I can't do this anymore. I'm just... So bitter, so mean, and you don't deserve that."

She was standing up straight now, the crops long forgotten, her watering can still in hand. "So, you think I deserve to be alone. Without you."

"You were alone before me, and you did just fine."

"That doesn't mean I fucking liked it!" The farmer threw the watering can to the ground, tears beginning to well up in the corners of her eyes. "When we got together, we promised to take care of each other, not leave when things got hard."

Shane was unsteady on his feet, the liquor taking hold of his body. She had a point, and he knew she was right, but he needed out. The world was closing in on him, and he needed to get as far away from everybody as he could. "I don't love you anymore, Y/N. Maybe I'll move out of town, maybe I can go to Marnie's again, I don't know. But I can't be here."

"How could you say that?" The farmer was wide-eyed and shell-shocked, but her gaze hardened within a few seconds. "Get out, then, if you hate it here so much."

The words struck him like a million knives to the chest, as if he hadn't been expecting it. "What?"

"You heard me. Get out!"

He took a few shaky steps toward her, his frown deepening when she stepped backwards. This isn't what he wanted; he wanted to take it back, apologize, bring her inside and cook dinner. But that's the funny thing with words- they're irreversible.

He had hurt her. Badly.

Returning to her planting, the farmer hoped he wouldn't see the tears. Years of work, years of love, down the drain. "Why are you still standing there?" she called over her shoulder.

Shane wanted to scream. He regretted this more than anything he'd ever done in his life.

Instead, he nodded and began the long walk to the Saloon.

"Hey, Shane! Where's your little farmer?" Gus grinned, already pouring a beer.

"She's at home," Shane responded. "I have a feeling we won't be seeing her for a while."

"Oh... Well, send her my well wishes. Is she sick?"

"Not exactly... just gimme another one of those, yeah?" Shane took his usual spot by the fireplace and sipped his drink. Part of him was surprised that the farmer hadn't put up more of a fight. Why didn't she stop him?

As the townsfolk began to file into the Saloon, Shane kept watching, hoping to see the face he so desperately waited for. Beer. Watch. Beer. Watch.

She wasn't coming.

Maybe Shane would take Jas and move out of the Valley. He could enroll her in a real school, give her a chance at a successful life.

Or maybe, he was damned to stay in this town forever, alone and drunk, just as he'd spent the years before.