quit - jiara

chapter two: to the same place

(double!!!) proof read

kiara's heart aches as she traces the pages of the guest book. messages to john b are scrawled all over, names he wouldn't even recognise "miss him"- people he hated "loved him". none of this feels right, she can't shake the unease all of this brings to her. her eyes skip over the names- one in particular makes her stop and stare, jj.

she has to hold herself up by pushing the palms of her hands into the table, her heads spins as she reads it. he must've written his before everyone else's because he's the only one to use a blue pen- jj's already scribbly handwriting looks worse than ever- she can imagine him writing it just from a glance. he was probably sat up late, with his free hand running through his hair, letting the tear drops- now dry- fall onto the page as he writes about his best friend, and the last words strike her like lightening: "we will get revenge". it shouldn't hit her so hard, but it does- she knows jj, she know's how far he goes when he wants something, especially revenge.

kiara tries to shake her worry off and fails, her heart feels like it could rip into a million pieces any second- just from thinking of how jj must be doing. aggressively, she grabs the black ballpoint pen from beside the book and scrawls her own message- "i'll miss you - kie", there's so much more she could say but there's no way to articulate the feelings john b's passing are giving her, and even if she did know how to say it- the word of what she might come out with would probably get back to her parents and they're already annoyed enough that she wanted to be at the funeral.

as she stumbles away part of her wishes she listened to her parents when the told her it wouldn't be good for her to come, and honestly she wasn't going to come until all her friends said they were- so she sucked it up and begged to go, even though she knew her heart can't take it.

kiara has no clue where she's going, her feet are taking her somewhere without telling her mind where, before she knows it she's running- and eventually she reaches a house, a house with a big porch and hammock swinging in the solemn wind. the chateau looked almost exactly like it did when she was last here- messy, but likeable. memories are littered all around but one from behind the house sticks out- it was the first night they all spent together.

as she heads round the back she remembers the fire pit in the middle being ablaze that night, there was four logs around it and a couple deckchairs, laughs rung through the air as smores were burnt- jokes were thrown at everyone mercilessly as if they'd all known eachother forever, when she'd looked around at all of them she knew that she'd found what she was missing in her life. so while she looks at it now, over two years after that first time, her heart aches because she's lost some of the greatest people in her life. tears spill out of her eyes rapidly when she realises that john b is actually gone forever- she's been trying not to cry since she found out he'd passed but as she stands in her place now she can almost see him alive again.

but now, the area that was once the kook-pogue neutral ground is littered with rubbish- mainly beer bottles and cans. in the middle is a memorial for john b, theres a frame with a photo in it- kiara can remember the day it was taken clear as anything:

//around 18 months ago....

'jj sit down!' kiara shouts at her boyfriend, who's currently balancing on the edge of the small boat they're on, holding his arms out as the wind whips around his body.

jj doesn't respond, he just laughs at the feelings he's experiencing. she grunts and glances over to pope who's shaking his head at jj, 'bro you're gonna fall in again' he sighs.

since jj isn't listening to kiara nor pope they look to jj's longest friend, john b. 'john b?' kiara prompts him, but he just shrugs.

'you guys know this, theres no controlling jj' he chuckles, taking a sip of his beer- right as he says that jj's foot slips and he topples into the water.