The Ultimatum

Chapter 7

Yesterday was a whirlwind. We closed off the day by checking out some of the local parks and shops, including a quick hike to a waterfall nearby. It made me feel back at home to be out in nature again and to finally feel like I was getting to know the city. I'm almost worried how at-home I feel here so soon. It seems so right to stay here, to become a part of this pack - and I think that's why it kind of terrifies me.

It's only made worse when Ryan tries to be sweet and bring me lunches at work and when I go to pay my rent and my landlord says some guy showed up and paid it already. I don't think he's doing it to make me feel like I owe him, but it makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm being bought. I start eating my lunch in the staff room and not the cafeteria, pretending I'm busy when he texts. I just don't know how to handle this type of attention. It's too much. I don't want to live my life feeling pressured to owe him anything. I start looking into some of the positions he got the other doctors and nurses to get for me, and some that I find on my own.

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After two weeks of this, it's getting time to make a decision, but I still don't know. It's the last week of my internship and my apartment doesn't have much to move out. I pawn off the things I don't need and manage to fit my clothes and toiletries in a suitcase and duffel.

Ryan has shown me the nice parts of this town, but I've seen the ugly all on my own. Living paycheck to paycheck in my shabby apartment, the people who come in to the ER after being hurt by those they trusted, the way it feels to go to bed hungry. I know that the life Ryan offers could shield me from those things, but they would still happen to others. I want to help people, now more than ever. I don't want to feel like I'm being bought into a life of comfort, I want to feel like I'm making a difference, really doing something. So I buy the cheapest ticket I can find on a flight to a new hospital, where I can make that difference, be my own person.

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When I go to get my ticket at the airport, I'm told it's been upgraded to first class. There's only one person who could've done that.

"Why did you upgrade my ticket?"

"I wanted you to be comfortable on your flight. I hear it's a long one." He has an amicable tone of voice that shouldn't irritate me, but it does. Does he really think he can just sweep me off my feet with money?

"Do you seriously think you can just buy me or something? You can't just keep paying for everything! I can do things on my own, I have my whole life. I can't just kick back and get comfortable. I want to help people, I want to make a difference, not just sit around and play some housewife!"

"Claire," he says, so softly, "Please tell me that's not why you're going. If you stay, you have a full time job at the hospital here waiting for as many hours as you want, we can work to put in more programs to help the pack. You can be involved, I'd be disappointed if you weren't. I don't just want to put you in some ivory tower. I think you could be amazing at this, and I'm helping you out because I know you don't have much in the way of savings and I wanted you to have the money to go wherever you wanted, even if that's not here. I wouldn't think you were shallow enough for me to ever buy you, and I'm somewhat hurt you think I'd see you that way. I see you as strong and capable and that's exactly why you wouldn't have accepted the help if I just offered it to you, so I didn't. I meant it when I said I don't want you to stay because you feel obligated to, I want you to have every opportunity to do what you feel like you're called to. Good luck with your new job."

"Yeah, thanks."

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The cab ride from the airport feels like the longest of my life. I don't know if I'm more scared that I'm making a terrible decision or that this could be the best one I've made in a while. I think about Evelyn and Al, how they always said I was born to help others and that they were proud of me for chasing that dream. I hope I'm still doing them proud. I just feel like I need to be where I can do the most good, and, if I'm lucky, I made the right call in that.

I stroll up to the door, baggage in hand, ready to take the next step towards the rest of my life. I knock. It feels like forever before it opens. I'm nervous, so nervous that I've made the wrong choice.

"You wished me good luck, but I don't think I need it. I told you before I was ready for this, and I meant it. I cancelled my ticket."

Ryan looks like he's not entirely sure he's not hallucinating. He must decide he's not, because he breaks into a wide grin and steps out and picks me up, twirling me around. "Woah cowboy, calm down!" But I'm laughing, too, it's infectious. No one's ever looked at me this way, like I've hung the stars just for them to see, and it makes butterflies erupt into my chest. I look away, too embarrassed to keep looking at the way he's looking at me. "I should probably get these..." I reach for my bags, which are promptly scooped up by Ryan and rushed inside without me. "Now, what did we just talk about?"