Shorts

Theoretical Marriage

This is the story of a marriage where my teacher (for Christian Lifestyles) would give us an event and we would have to talk about how it affected us and our lives and our family and this is mine.

Week 1:

It’s weird being out of college. With so much of my life dedicated to learning, I just can’t really believe I’m done with all of it. Done with papers and exams. Done with the note-taking and the droning professors. Done with all of it.

But, of course, I’ll never really get away from it with my English professor of a husband. And, I guess, Jer being a teacher is a really nice constant for me. He’s always been my constant. But, of course, with his new writing gig, he’ll be a bit busier.

He always wrote for himself, letting me read his inner ramblings, and never accepting my praise. I love his writing. I love the way he expresses himself and the way I can pick out every mannerism in his speech. And I love that other people are finally going to see his work.

I remember when he sent off his work. He didn’t really want to; he was so nervous. He had painstakingly chosen two editorials he had written. He even got up in the middle of the night before to re-read his editorials. Of course, he thought I was asleep, and he didn’t really need to know I wasn’t. It was something he needed to do on his own and it wasn’t my job to intrude.

Even though, he’s starting this whole new project, I know he’s not going to let his students suffer. And if I have to spare some of my time with him, so be it. This is what makes him happy. And now that he’s gotten a chance to share that with the world, I don’t think I’d be able to take that away from him.

I remember when he told his parents, they were so proud. I, of course, told the girls that I volunteer with at the church. Everyone knew he could do it, I think he just needed that confidence. And I’m hoping that this job, and seeing the faith that everyone has in him, boosts his self-image. He’s worth so much more than he gives himself credit for.

Week 2:

I can’t even think right now. They say that when God closes a door, he opens a window. I guess I need to find that window. You hear about other people getting fired. You hear about lay offs and you hear about cutbacks, but it could never happen to you, right? You’re too good at your job for that. I’m too good at my job for that.

Apparently not.

the girls I volunteer with told me it’s not personal. It was just business.

Jeremy’s been cooking and cleaning everything for the past week. Which I know isn’t fair because he’s carrying our family now. Well, our family of two.

But it hit me so hard.

I don’t have a job.

My years and years of schooling didn’t guarantee me a job.

i was the top of my class.

I was the first to get a job outside of the dental school.

I deserve a job. Jer deserves someone who can hold up her part of the marriage. My parents deserve a daughter they can be proud of. My church deserves someone who isn’t questioning why God did this to her.

Week 3:

I’ve been spending the past week looking at every connection i have to find a new job. It’s just hard going into interview because it means I failed at my last job. i have to explain why I’m no longer at my last dentistry firm. Jer’s been taking all of my crap without a word, even though he doesn’t deserve it. He especially doesn’t need it with his first deadline coming up.