All for the Sake of Pleasure

Chapter 29

"Go back to your apartment, Kakashi," Sasuke commanded, his tone gentle enough to make the silver-haired jounin to look up in surprise. It was rare for his young friend to show anyone other than Naruto compassion. Despite the worry he could clearly see in Sasuke's face, Kakashi shook his head negatively before returning his gaze to Saki's empty crib.
"I can't..." Kakashi replied as his fingers ran along the smooth, painted wood. It seemed impossible to believe that it had been over twenty-four hours since he had dragged half of Konoha's elite shinobi here and began the largest search party the village had ever seen.
But all of his effort, threats, and desperate pleas were for naught.
No one had yet to hear even a whisper about Saki's kidnappers. There was not a single bit of evidence for them to go on; there was no trail to follow. There was no clue telling them even in what direction to begin their search.
Closing his eyes tightly, Kakashi bent down until his hitai ate hit the edge of Saki's crib with a dull clink. All shinobi were on alert; entire teams had started out several hours ago to scan the forests for any trail. Naruto had taken a whole group to Suna to enlist their aid. Gai and the rest of Kakashi's close friends had spread out, taking their teams to all the other Hidden Villages in search of any information on Saki.
Kakashi felt a saddened smile touch his lips. It was strangely touching how helpful everyone was being – as though they could understand how Saki's absence was tearing him apart. If anyone could possibly appreciate just how close he was to the edge, it was Iruka. But Kakashi had not seen his brunet in over a day. He was terrified of returning to his apartment without Saki in his arms. He did not want to put Iruka through any more pain.
It was hard enough for him to come to grips with the fact that, with each tick of the clock, the probability of finding Saki was plummeting. As though just to mock him, the sound of the tiny clock on the wall filled his ears until it was all Kakashi could focus on.
Sasuke watched the lanky jounin lean against the crib, not sure what to do or say to help his friend and ex-sensei. He had stayed behind in Konoha, claiming he wanted to stay with the Hokage to organize the teams and their information. The truth was that he remained here so that he could keep an eye on Kakashi. Tsunade had had the foresight to demand the silver-haired jounin stay behind so that he could help her come up with possible identities to the kidnappers who, more than likely, had taken Saki to get back at Kakashi. No one missed the way her voice had caught on that lie except for the preoccupied jounin – everyone could clearly see just how broken up Kakashi was and, for many reasons, were thankful their Hokage was doing everything she could to keep the Copy Ninja contained in the village. Otherwise, everyone's attention would not be entirely focused on their missions, but on the emotionally-compromised jounin.
Sasuke cared deeply for Kakashi, but even he knew that there was no stopping Kakashi if they found Saki's kidnappers. Anyone standing between him and those bastards would be torn to shreds. Not a single shinobi in Konoha was brave – or stupid – enough to be that idiot standing near Kakashi when they finally discovered Saki. When, not if, Saki was found, there was every possibility Tsunade would lock the kidnappers in a room with Kakashi until the Copy Ninja returned to sanity. Sasuke did not even feel a flicker of sympathy for those who had dared to take Saki.
"Go get some sleep," Sasuke said quietly as he studied Kakashi. Never before had he seen the powerful jounin like this. Kakashi made it a habit to hide his chakra because he was powerful enough to even give the Hokage or Naruto a run for their money. When the search parties began, every shinobi other than those who knew Kakashi well gave him a wide berth because of the sheer power he was emitting. A few even showed their fear when they realized just how much Kakashi controlled himself under any other circumstance. Sasuke knew Kakashi was not cloaking his chakra like he normally did, which terrified him because he could hardly even sense the Copy Ninja's energy now.
Kakashi was not simply running himself into the ground or risking chakra depletion. No, he was bordering on that thin line between throwing himself into a comatose state and shaving off years from his life. Sasuke doubted the jounin noticed, much less cared, just how exhausted he was. All that mattered to Kakashi right now was that his implanted eye was swirling, draining his chakra as quickly as his body could create it by destroying its own tissues.
Kakashi had been using his Sharingan for well over a day straight, studying every person and object for any clue as to Saki's whereabouts. What few people other than Sasuke appreciated was that Kakashi had forced his eye into a completely different state. Sasuke saw an eye that did not simply look through jutsu but instead did far worse. Others merely saw an eerie, swirling eye that was nothing like a normal Sharingan. Red and black shades twisted around one another with no discernable pattern, making Kakashi's Sharingan appear more like a smoke-filled orb than an eye. The Uchiha had only used those eyes once, and the emotional and mental drain of seeing into others – feeling their emotions and thinking their thoughts – was too much for him to handle. He did not know how Kakashi was maintaining it now, but he knew to not look his friend in the eye or else Kakashi would feel that flicker of unease, that tiny seed of doubt that Sasuke could not completely destroy.
Because, with every second that passed, it was becoming more and more unlikely they would find Saki alive.
"Go to sleep," Sasuke demanded as he moved to rest a hand on Kakashi's shoulder, feeling the tenseness of his friend's entire body. Even as his fingers gently squeezed the Copy Ninja's shoulder reassuringly, Sasuke could sense just how much it was costing Kakashi to remain standing. Every fiber of the tall jounin's body was strained, quivering in exhaustion. "You aren't doing any good like this. You'll kill yourself if you keep this up. Go rest for a few hours. If there is any news, I'll come get you."
Kakashi let out a hoarse chuckle, unaccustomed to hearing Sasuke not only speak in full sentences, but also being so caring. Though his head felt almost too heavy to move, Kakashi turned just enough to catch a glimpse of his young friend with his natural eye. Able to do little else, the jounin let out a sigh. Sasuke was right – he was too exhausted to be any help, but it felt like betrayal to lie down while Saki was still missing. The teams were taking shifts; even Sasuke had slipped away for a few hours to sleep. Kakashi was the only one who had not taken a quick break. In other circumstances, he would have been fine with a few days of sleep deprivation, but keeping his Sharingan activated in this form was more draining than he anticipated.
"Fine," he whispered hoarsely, too tired to hide the deceit in his voice. He may rest his Sharingan for an hour or two, but he would not fall asleep unless his legs collapsed from underneath him and he passed out. No, until he had Saki back in his arms, he was not allowing himself a moment of respite.
Sasuke nodded his head, understanding Kakashi's decision. Even deactivating his unnatural eye was enough for now. But after Saki was finally found, Sasuke had the feeling Kakashi may just be bedridden for weeks. With that unspoken promise to rest, the Uchiha transported himself back to the Hokage Tower.
Kakashi waited until the smoke of Sasuke's jutsu dissipated, then deactivated his Sharingan. Even as he felt the drain on his chakra cease, the jounin found himself falling to his knees. Too exhausted to even slow his descent, Kakashi hit the floor with enough force to send jolts of pain up his legs and back and cause him to gasp. Judging from the unexpected agony that ripped through him at such a simple movement, Kakashi could only assume he had done quite a bit of damage to his body by burning so much chakra for so long. Leaning forwards, Kakashi pressed his forehead against the bars of Saki's crib, gasping in surprised pain as he weakly lifted his arms to grip the thin pieces of wood.
It was then, no longer surrounded by his ninken, shinobi, or any other presence other than his own, Kakashi finally let himself go.
So tired, Kakashi could not even feel the tears as they trekked down his bare cheeks. He did not even realize he was crying until he tasted the salty liquid on his lips. Somewhere in the back of his mind, it registered that he had spent the past day unmasked for all to see, but he did not care.
All that mattered was that it had been over a day. An entire day of wracking his brain, giving Tsunade the name and last known location of everyone he considered his enemy. Over twenty-four hours of cataloguing past lovers who may have taken their split badly – or whose significant other may have taken offense to Kakashi seducing him or her. The actual act of naming his enemies and partners was almost as painful as the agony ripping through him now. He had racked up a veritable army of enemies over his years of guarding Konoha, but it was nothing in comparison to the pages upon pages of fuck buddies, one night stands, and every other person Kakashi could remember screwing in his life.
What seemed like a lifetime ago, Kakashi might have felt some pride over the number of partners he had had. Others would have called him a lucky bastard. Right now – and from the moment he fell in love with Iruka – all he felt was disgust. He had been a whore; there was no other term that suited him. If he had shown even a moment of restraint in all these years, the list of possible kidnappers could have been much shorter. If he had, there might have been a chance of narrowing down their search.
But with thousands of names, how could they possibly track down them all in the next few hours? How could they find the time to interrogate everyone? How could they find Saki before something happened to him?
A hoarse sob wracked Kakashi at that depressing thought. A future without Saki, a lifetime of knowing all of this was his fault...it was too much for him. It was as though all the warmth fled him, leaving Kakashi frozen where he had crumpled on the floor. Somehow, he found the strength to shift, sitting down so that he could bring his knees up to his chin as he pressed his back against Saki's crib. Tightening his arms around his legs, Kakashi bowed his head and let out a cry.
He had probably done permanent damage in keeping his Sharingan activated, reading the minds of everyone he encountered. But it was not enough. No one had any idea who could have taken Saki; there was not a single theory for Kakashi to discover in the minds of countless shinobi. Every time someone came in to report they had found nothing to Tsunade, his heart broke all over again as he felt their confusion and uselessness. Everyone felt horrible about Saki's kidnapping, but Kakashi knew he had it worst of all.
He deserved the mental and emotional agony his Sharingan caused. Under different circumstances, he might have dissected his newfound ability with Sasuke and trained it so he could control it, but the usefulness of his unnatural eye was worth the drain on his chakra and the emotional overload he received every time he looked at someone. It was only right that he feel everyone's doubts and fears as well as the blame they placed on him in the back of their minds.
This was his fault. Saki never deserved any of this nor did Iruka. All they had done was let him be a part of their lives, and Kakashi had ruined theirs in return. They had offered him love and kindness; Kakashi gave them fear and pain. Tightening his arms around his legs, Kakashi body shook with each sob that wracked his frame.
He had dealt with terror countless times, but it had never touched him before. He had never felt that cold stone settle in his abdomen, making it difficult to breathe in anything but sharp gasps for air until now. He had never shivered because his body was freezing cold despite the warm air surrounding him. He had always countered fear with the knowledge he was more powerful than his enemy. He never thought twice about attacking head-on and fighting despite his slim odds of surviving. He knew he was faster and smarter than the average shinobi; he knew people often underestimated him, so he used that to his advantage.
He laughed at blades and jutsu, taunting his attackers until they were so frustrated, they made a mistake that proved to be fatal. Enemies had tied him down and tortured him, but he could manage physical pain. He had learned just how much he could survive when he was captured at seventeen. He had learned by necessity to shut down so that he could not be emotionally or mentally tortured. A lesser shinobi would have been broken the moment his legs were forcibly spread and he was pressed against a dark, damp wall and had the only innocence he had left stolen from him.
It had the only naiveté Kakashi had after he had lost his father. He could still remember holding his father body as he was told his father's last words were that Kakashi bring their family honor. His father had not wanted him see him die like that; Kakashi was on his first solitary mission, but he had gotten home a day early. He had walked into the house, preparing to proudly show his father the medal he had received for being such a dedicated bodyguard, but had frozen when he smelled blood. His heart had been in his throat as he raced through the large complex. Fear had choked him as he skidded into his father's room and found the jounin on the floor, his head tilted at an unnatural angle, with his tanto buried in his belly and Minato standing over him with a bloodied katana. In that moment, Kakashi had been certain his heart had stopped. But not even then did Kakashi know true fear or loss.
His father had committed seppuku to erase his dishonor, but he had somehow forgotten that he would be leaving an eight-year-old boy without any family or friends. But Kakashi had survived. He had learned to take care of himself. He had taught himself how to call his father's ninken so that he would have someone to talk to. Kakashi had dealt with the change in lifestyle, not shedding a single tear. He had only felt anger and hatred towards those who had inadvertently forced his father to commit suicide. And Kakashi had gotten the chance to return the favor by slaughtering every enemy involved in the fated mission that dishonored his father.
But this time, someone finally had gotten him. They had found his weakness and exploited it ruthlessly. Whatever the kidnappers wanted, Kakashi would give it. If it meant Saki's safe return, he would gladly go to them, bound and helpless. He would not even think twice to sacrifice himself in order to bring Sakumo home. If the worst came to pass and he could not keep his promise to Iruka and bring Saki back, Kakashi would gladly give Iruka a blade and stand before the brunet completely unarmed and unwilling to protect himself.
One way or the other, Kakashi had a very good chance of dying in the next few days.
That realization did not surprise him as much as Kakashi would have thought it would. Thoughts of his own mortality were never in the forefront of his mind. He had been too stubborn and cocky to consider the high probability of dying on one mission or another. But this time...this time, he would not use his renowned speed or strength. He would not raise a hand to perform one of his thousands of copied jutsu.
Unconsciously, Kakashi's fingers brushed his jacket over his heart. Though the hoarse sound of his irrepressible cries filled his ears, he could still hear the crinkle of the papers protectively hidden in his uniform. It was a good thing he never read those pages because, if by some miracle Saki was his son, Iruka would certainly have to deal with situations like this even after Kakashi died. No, if it became common knowledge that Saki was Kakashi's offspring, this would be only the first of many attempts on his son's life.
Kakashi could not hold back a sob at that thought. If Saki was not his, Kakashi's death could end situations like this. But if he was...Kakashi had ruined his own son's life because of his sordid past. He may have damned Saki to a life of death threats, kidnapping, and a host of other problems no child should have to grow up dealing with. Kakashi condemned Saki to a lifetime like his own – never knowing a true childhood, never knowing a moment of peace. And it was all because Kakashi had fallen in love.
Kakashi prayed fervently that Saki was not his to save the boy from such a future. He hoped that Saki would never grow up to be tall and lanky like him and his own father. He begged that Saki's hair would not lighten in the years to come, taking on the famous shade of the Hatake clan. He implored that Saki never become known as a prodigy – like Kakashi and the White Fang had been when they were children, one of the many hallmarks of the Hatake clan. He desperately implored that Saki take after him in no way whatsoever. Never before had he so strongly wished he was right all those times he denied being the baby's father and that he had no tie to Saki other than his love for him.
"I-I'm so sorry, Sa-Saki," Kakashi whispered to the empty room, longing to say those words to the little brunet. A new batch of tears filled his eyes, rolling down his face unchecked and soaking into the thin material of his pants. Those tears did nothing to wash away his regret. If anything, they only made him hate himself all the more for being unable to find Saki. For the first time in his life, no amount of stubbornness would give him what he wanted. Not one of his abilities could help him. His genius mind was worthless; his thousands of jutsu were just as ineffective. All of his years of training – of fighting and killing for the sake of Konoha – were for nothing. None of those things could be used to help save the one person Kakashi would have done anything to protect. If anything, his lifetime of making himself into a legend only hurt Saki's chances of survival all the more.
"I never m-meant for th-this to hap-happen." His raw sobs were a waste of time. There was no one to hear his pleas, but Kakashi could not stop himself from pouring out his emotions to the painfully empty nursery. He could not keep his body from trembling; his cries and emotions threatened to tear him apart, shaking him to his very core. "I'll do any-anything...I-I'll stay...stay away. I'll m-move to Su-Suna. I don't care – I just w-want you ba...back!"
"Da?"
If he had the energy to lift his head from his knees, Kakashi would have looked up at the high pitched sound that was nearly drowned out by his sobs. Then again, he might not have just so that he would not have to admit to himself that he was starting to hallucinate. And he must be delirious because there was no other reason to explain the soft giggle that now filtered into his ears. It was a sound that was so painfully familiar to Kakashi that he would recognize it anywhere.
Somehow, Kakashi mustered the energy to lift his head as he somehow heard a squeak over his own cries. The jounin blinked, not believing his eyes, but the vision in front of him did not change. The baby that sat mere feet from him did not disappear no matter how many times he blinked incredulously.
"S-Saki?" Kakashi whispered, his voice hoarse from his cries. The baby let out a squeal of glee, clapping his tiny hands together as though nothing was out of the ordinary. If he had the strength to do so, Kakashi would have shaken his head, trying to rid himself his delusions, but since he could do little other than focus his gaze on Saki, the baby remained where he was, giggling.
Closing his eyes, the jounin took a shaky breath in the hopes he could clear his mind enough that he was no longer hallucinating. When he opened his eyes again, the spot where Saki had just been was vacant. Instantly, Kakashi felt that idiotic hope caused by the sight of Saki shatter. A ragged cry ripped through him at the painful loss, even though he knew Saki's presence had only been a figment of his imagination. Rationality was not as comforting as dreams.
A gentle touch on his right thigh made Kakashi jerk back instinctively, sending jolts of pain through his already exhausted body. Kakashi's limbs fell limply to the floor despite his attempts to lift them and guard himself. In that moment, he knew what it felt like to be completely helpless. Whoever snuck up on him would have the perfect opportunity to kill him – and he truly would not raise a hand to defend himself. The jounin quickly shifted his gaze from that spot a few feet away to his right side and felt the very breath being sucked from his body. All at once, the past day of fear, exhaustion, and sorrow hit him and Kakashi cried out from the force of it.
Even as Kakashi's vision swam and dimmed, he watched the tiny baby crawl into his lap as though the past day of frantic searching had not occurred. Though each touch of Saki's light frame was excruciating, Kakashi found himself deliriously happy to feel the solidity of his little hands cling to his jacket, to have those chubby knees press into his thigh as Saki settled himself in Kakashi's lap. This was not a hallucination. Delusions did not have substance. They did not have weight. Kakashi gasped at that realization, silent sobs wracking his body. Saki really was sitting in his lap, completely unharmed.
The baby looked up at Kakashi, concern etched in his round face. The little brunet lifted his hands to touch Kakashi's soaked cheeks, but could not reach no matter how much he stretched. Somehow, Kakashi found the strength to drop his head so Saki's tiny fingers could run over his bare face.
"Dada!" Saki squealed, obviously overjoyed to be touching Kakashi. His tiny fingers ran along Kakashi's nose and scarred eyebrow as though he was reacquainting himself with the jounin's face. But, even though his touch was reassuring, the little boy could not possibly understand how his declaration tore at Kakashi's heart.
Dada. Daddy.
The one time Kakashi desperately wanted to deny being Saki's parent was the first time the baby called him a name that anyone would understand it for what it was. Kakashi let out a strangled sob. All he wanted to do was be ecstatic that Saki saw him as his father, but had he not just promised to leave – to deny any relationship to protect Saki? Desperate to ignore the battle of emotions that threatened to suffocate him, Kakashi focused on thoughts of Saki's kidnappers. Who were they and why were they not taking this opportunity to kill him? It was only with a quick sweep of the apartment with his failing chakra that Kakashi realized he and Saki were the only ones here.
Unable to even lift a finger, his body was so frozen with agony, Kakashi studied the little miniature of Iruka in confusion. The kidnappers just left Saki here? There was no one else here, but Saki had been several feet away only a few seconds ago. Saki was fast, but not that fast. There was no way he could crawl that far in that brief moment Kakashi had his eyes closed. Even if Saki's kidnappers were here and hiding from Kakashi's admittedly weakened senses, why would they have moved the baby?
Studying the baby in his lap even as his vision began to fail him, Kakashi understood. To most people, the brunet appeared to be playing with his fingers, flailing them around in excitement. To any self-respecting shinobi, the hand seals would be recognized for what they were. As he slipped into unconsciousness, Kakashi's last thought was one of a mixture of relief and terror for the years to come.
A transportation jutsu...
XXX
"It's been too long!" Iruka cried as he jumped up from the couch. There was only so much nervous waiting a man could take and he had reached his limit several hours ago. Pakkun was the only thing keeping him from racing to the Hokage's Tower and demanding information on his son's whereabouts. They must have found something out by now. They must be tracking Saki's kidnappers this very moment. Iruka paced the kitchen, mumbling incoherently under his breath.
"Kakashi said he would come when he had any news," Pakkun pointed out, trying to do his best to keep his own nervous doubt from his voice. He definitely did not want to send Iruka into another bout of tears with the implication that there was nothing yet to report. What the hell was Kakashi doing? It had been over a day! Poor Iruka was a basket case. The only reason the teacher was not currently curled up on the couch in tears, as he had been for the past day, may have something to do with the fact Pakkun put something in his last cup of tea...and that something may have been the tranquilizers he used on Kakashi when he saw the need to calm his master down.
The surprising thing was that, apparently, Iruka had a higher resistance to the stuff than even a jounin of Kakashi's legendary stubbornness succumbed to. And that was saying something. Judging from the nervous wringing of Iruka's hands and the wateriness of his dark eyes, Kakashi's normal dose was nowhere near enough for him. It had lasted only one blissfully tear-free hour.
Pakkun moved to sit up, about ready to go get another cup of his special tea for the brunet, but stopped the instant he felt a powerful chakra pop into the room. Both his and Iruka's eyes focused on the newcomer as a familiar, lanky jounin appeared in a cloud of smoke.
The pug tilted his head at Kakashi's odd means of arrival as the tall man appeared in midair, hovering for a moment before crashing into the hardwood floor with a resounding bang. It took Pakkun only a moment to realize that, though he landed firmly on his back, Kakashi made no move to sit up, much less complain about his rough landing. As he studied Kakashi, the ninken noticed a frightening thing about his unusually still master.
He could not sense Kakashi's chakra. Whoever's energy now filled the room was definitely not the jounin lying on the floor. Even before Pakkun could move to stand protectively in front of Iruka, a high-pitched squeal made him freeze in place. He knew that noise – there was only one human who could make his ears ring with a single sound.
"BABA!"
As the smoke cleared completely, Iruka saw the little baby sitting on Kakashi's abdomen. For a moment, he took in the image of his son's round face in disbelief. It took less than a split second for Iruka to cry out and race to pull Saki into his arms. Clinging to his little son, Iruka did not care that the baby was screaming in his ear, loudly protesting being held so tightly, but he could not loosen his hold, terrified that Saki might disappear from his arms if he did so.
Tears streaked down Iruka's cheeks as he buried his nose into Saki's hair. Inhaling the sweet aroma of his son's hair, Iruka sobbed. He had missed Saki more than he thought imaginable. He had caught a whiff of soap and baby powder so many times in the past day, he worried for his sanity. He could have sworn he heard Saki's laughter until Pakkun merely shook his head negatively and went to put on another pot of tea. He had wrapped his arms around himself, his heart shattering as he recalled the feel of Saki's warm body against his chest as the baby slept.
Pakkun studied Saki for a moment, amazed that the baby was perfectly fine. There was not a single scratch on him, for which the pug was infinitely relieved. If there had been a single mark on Saki, his kidnappers would have more than just Kakashi to deal with. And Pakkun, though he may not look it, was vicious when it came to the wellbeing of his favorite human.
Assuring himself Saki was unharmed and that his current piercing cries were more due to Iruka's possessive clinging, Pakkun then moved towards his master. Firmly poking the silver-haired pervert's side with a paw, Pakkun was surprised to find that the jounin did not instantly jump up and yell at him. No, Kakashi did not respond at all.
Another glance over the jounin told Pakkun that there was a good reason he could not sense his master's chakra.
"YOU IDIOT!" Pakkun barked as he jumped up onto his master's motionless chest and began slapping the jounin as hard as he could. For a genius, Kakashi could do some stupid things, but this was a record low even for him. A few more none-too-gentle smacks told Pakkun that he was going to have to try something else to wake up the moron before Kakashi suffocated.
"Depleting...yourself...so that...you're...too tired...to breathe!" Pakkun huffed as he jumped up and down on his master's chest. As he forced the idiot's chest to rise and fall with each jump, he could see the blue tinge to Kakashi's face lessening, but even Pakkun knew that the jounin needed more than his dog's attempts at resuscitation.
"Erm...Pakkun?" Iruka finally snapped out of his reverie to see the tiny dog screeching at his master as he bounced up and down. And Kakashi was not looking too good – then again, who would with the hefty pug jumping on his chest? A closer look revealed the jounin's blue lips and unnaturally pale skin. "What happened?" Iruka squeaked as he fell to his knees next to Kakashi. The jounin did not move or respond to Pakkun's actions. Holding Saki with one arm, Iruka felt for a pulse, which was so weak it took him a great deal of concentration to even pick it up.
"The idiot completely drained himself. He started breaking down his muscles and converted the energy into chakra. But now his body is so tired, it forgot to breathe," Pakkun panted as he returned to slapping Kakashi's face in hopes of rousing his master. All he needed was to wake Kakashi up just long enough for the jounin to force himself to take a few breaths. His body would take care of the rest while Kakashi fell back asleep, this time hopefully breathing on his own.
His actions worked better than Pakkun had been anticipating. In the same moment Kakashi's eyes shot open and he gasped for air, the pug went flying off of Kakashi's chest due to a surprisingly powerful punch from his master.
"A-Ass..." Kakashi gasped as he dropped his head back against the floor and closed his eyes. To anyone else, it would have looked like he slipped back into that dangerous state of unconscious, but Iruka could feel the rise and fall of his chest as his fingers touched the jounin's jacket. No, this comatose state was much healthier. No longer were Kakashi's lips a sickening blue or his skin a frighteningly pale shade.
Gently, Iruka's fingers traced up the jounin's neck, reveling in the strengthening pulse under his fingertips."H-He'll be okay?" Iruka asked quietly as he reluctantly tore his eyes from Kakashi's face. Glancing over to Pakkun, the brunet waited as the pug looked down at his master.
"Give him a few weeks," Pakkun replied with a sigh. "He'll be bedridden until he gets some of his strength back and, knowing Tsunade, she'll keep him off missions for at least a a few months. Whatever idiotic thing he did this time to drain himself so badly, he probably shaved a few years off his life by doing so."
"W-Was it his transportation jutsu?" Iruka asked quietly, wondering why Kakashi had appeared in the middle of the air. Even when a shinobi was exhausted, they knew enough to land themselves on a couch or the floor, not in midair. Then there was the fact no rational shinobi would transport themselves when they were already so drained. Transporting yourself without enough energy was something no one was willing to try. If one was lucky, they might transport themselves to a completely different place than where they intended. Though there was always the chance only a part of them arrived in the desired destination.
"He didn't have enough chakra to activate his Sharingan. He couldn't have transported himself and Sakumo," Pakkun replied, tilting his head curiously. There was no way his master had performed the jutsu. Blinking a few times, he shifted his gaze to Saki and widened his eyes slightly. "Iruka...put Saki down and move away from him..."
"Eh? Why?" Iruka asked as he tightened his arms around his son, unwilling to let go of his child. Seeing the calculating glint in Pakkun's eyes, he knew that the ninken had something in mind. With a deep breath, he reluctantly set Saki down on the floor then stood to walk over to Pakkun. "What is this about?" he questioned as he turned to watch Saki. Before he even got a chance to blink, he found the baby back in his arms and giggling happily.
"A...a transportation jutsu?" Iruka coughed as he inhaled the smoke rising from his arms, where Saki was already snuggling himself into the crook of his arm. "Saki transported them!" he squeaked in disbelief, but the proof of his son's advanced abilities was still stinging his eyes as the smoke dissipated. "He is not even seven months old! Most shinobi don't learn that jutsu until they are teenagers!"
Pakkun cackled at the wide-eyed terror that filled Iruka's eyes. Sakumo had much the same expression the first time he had seen Kakashi create a room of clones at only was only eight months old. Though something as complicated as a transportation jutsu was even beyond Kakashi until he was four. "You're in for a fun time, Iruka," he stated with a laugh as he gestured to the baby in Iruka's arms. "Just wait until he starts transforming his clones so that they can get him the cookie jar on the top shelf – this idiot was quite pudgy until his father put a seal on the jar so that Kakashi had to answer an ambiguous history question before it opened."
"Whaaa?" Iruka gaped as he looked down at the giggling baby in his arms. "B-But...he's...he's only a baby!" Iruka's protest landed on deaf ears as Pakkun waved a paw nonchalantly. Seeing the pug's easy manner, Iruka realized something. "T-There was never any kidnapper, was there?"
"My best guess, Saki has been bouncing around the village in search of you two and only recently figured out how to direct his transportations," Pakkun stated. Having gone through this with Kakashi when he was a child, he had felt that worry every time his little master disappeared for a few hours only to return suddenly, soaking wet or covered in scratches because he, once again, landed himself in a bird's nest instead of on a tree branch next to the nest. And, judging from Kakashi's crash landing into the kitchen, Saki had not yet perfected his transportation either.
At the sound of his name, Saki squealed and began squirming, obviously trying to get out of his father's grasp. Finally, Iruka bent down and set his son on the floor, no longer so worried about Saki now that he knew the baby was never in any danger other than from his own jutsu. And that opened a whole new host of worries, but Iruka was too exhausted to consider them all right now.
Now with both of his hands free, Iruka went back to kneeling at Kakashi's side. Gingerly, he brushed a few strands of hair from the jounin's face, wishing he knew what exactly Kakashi had been doing to exhaust himself – because it was obviously not fighting Saki's nonexistent kidnappers. Iruka gently slid his hands underneath his unconscious ex, pulling Kakashi into his arms. Though he struggled under the man's dead weight, Iruka somehow managed to get the lanky jounin into the bedroom and on the bed with only a few curses and accidental hits of Kakashi's head into doorways.
Iruka was infinitely happy the jounin was comatose or else he would be laughed at for his incompetence. Then again, he wouldn't have to carry the heavy bastard if Kakashi was awake. With a gentle hand, he pulled the covers up and tucked the silver-haired man in.
"Baba!" Iruka turned and watched as Saki crawled into the room, then transported himself up on the bed so that he could sprawl out on the pillow next to Kakashi's head. A saddened smile touched Iruka's lips as he watched his son snuggle against Kakashi before he started falling asleep. Seeing the way Saki's little hand went out to touch Kakashi's face, Iruka finally understood. And the realization made his heart ache.
"You went to look for Kakashi, didn't you?" Iruka whispered as he brushed a hand against Saki's cheek. The baby's eyes fluttered open and the little brunet looked down at the jounin he was resting against. "Kakashi's going to have to go, though...h-he..." How could he explain his and Kakashi's destroyed relationship to a baby so that Saki would not go off in search of Kakashi the next time the jounin left? "He...he isn't your father...and he is probably leaving the village soon..."
"Dada..."
Iruka fell silent at that sound, watching in regret as Saki curled closer to the Copy Ninja and continued to whisper that name under his breath until he fell asleep. It was hard enough to try explaining to Saki that Kakashi had decided to not be part of their lives. But how was he ever going make Saki understand that Kakashi was not his "Dada," no matter how much either brunet wanted it to be true.