N
Um I don't wanna tell her...
K
But it's wrong noah.. look ok I like you but I can't do this to dixie,its not right a-and I don't wan-
N
Kaylani,I look we have to keep this a secret you and I both know I would ruin Dixie if she ever found out. And neither of us want that so..
Let's just go as if nothing happened I like you, but I have feelings for Dixie to and I don't want to give up on her and I because of what she just went through with Griffin so let's just wait this out
K
I-I don't know i don't want to do this to her i think we should tell her Noah
N
Listen to me kaylani we can not tell her ok?
K
Ok whatever I have to get back to Dixie-yes she's here with me,but shes probably wondering where I am so I'm just gonna go back... um bye if she you at home.
I said walking away.i soon got to Dixie and she looked very relieved to see me.
D
Oh thank God I thought you were kidnapped I went in the bathroom and you weren't in there and i-
K
Realeax dix I just ran into uh Bryce on my way out he just asked how I was doing and we were talking so yeah.
D
Oh ok you just worried me because I texted you but you didn't answer and idk it just didn't feel right like my alarms went off that something happened.
She hugged me
K
Hey uh I'm not feeling so well so I think I'm gonna go um I'll take an uber and you can just take the car and uh we'll hang tomorrow I guess?
D
Uh yea just be careful and text me when you get home k
K
I will. Bye love ya did
She waved goodbye and I walked home.i didn't feel like getting in a uber cause I was a little tipsy and don't trust myself. It was only like a 25 min walk which was good cause I haven't worked out in a hot sec.. I took off my heel's and started walking
*^<(time skip to home)>^*
I got home and walked inside guess nobody locked the door because Josh's car wasn't in the drive way he's probably at the club with nessa even though I didn't see him there but o well.i set down my heels and went up to my room.
I went to the bathroom to wipe off my makeup but I looked in the mirror and broke down.i couldn't handle it anymore.i slept with my bestfriends boyfriend. I I can't I'm a horrible person.i slid down the wall and reached under the sink for my notepad to write my music I grabbed my pin and wrote what i felt...
"Its ok not to be ok"
Feeling like a drop in the ocean
That don't nobody notice
Maybe it's all just in your head
Feeling like you're trapped in your own skin
And now your body's frozen
Broken down, you've got nothing left
When you're high on emotion
And you're losing your focus
And you feel too exhausted to pray
Don't get lost in the moment
Or give up when you're closest
All you need is somebody to say
It's okay not to be okay
It's okay not to be okay
When you're down and you feel ashamed
It's okay not to be okay
I finished that rough draft of that song and turned the page to write another one hopefully
"One whole day"
We'd be laying in my bed
And you'd randomly get up and leave
You would make a lot of time
For anyone other than me
The more that I gave, the more you held back
Now I am emotionally starved
You're stuck on your ex, you're stuck in the past
Truth is that you really broke my heart
