The Brighter Side of Suffering

The First Chapter

The crowd roarded. I pushed my sweaty long hair back out of my face and looked out at the small group of people who watched me perform. There were a few new faces out there too. I smiled at them and walked to the rest of my band to talk about the next song.

The place we perform is a small building in downtown Cedar Rapids, Iowa. It was a really awesome club. The people who run this place are geniouses. We didn't have a stage. We were on the floor in the crowds faces. It was intense when we got the crowd to mosh. It made me smile.

I turned around and screamed out, "Oh my God, they're everywhere!" Thus, the begingin of our cover of The Devil Wear's Prada's song: Escape.

I was the lead singer in our band, well, screamer that is. The band is called Bloody Snowmen. We usually were the power house of all the shows that we've done. I also played the guitar, not lead though, just played the harmonys and the rhythm.

Drake, the lead guitarist, was my right hand man in the creation of Bloody Snowmen. It was one of those 'well, fuck it. Lets start a band' things. He always wore a hat. His hair was always messy but then again it was almost as long as mine. His hazle eyes always were looking into the future. He has mad guitar skills, made me jealous sometimes, but I can keep up with his playing.

Jeremy, our bass player was the guy that you'd find standing in the corner minding his own business. He didn't say much or do much. But his skills on the bass were unmatchable. It was like God possessed his fingers when he played.

Our drummer, Sam, was like a rhythm prodigy. He could play those drums. He was totally ADD though. Always jumping off the walls. He always has so much energy. Too much energy if you ask me. It's insane. This guy can play three hour shows and still be ready for the next month of none stop playing.

This brings me to the last and newest edition to the band. David, the synth man. He does keyboard too but thats for our slower stuff. The sounds that he can make come out of that board is insane. It's intence. Totally adds an extra edge to our sound.

That was basically us. We rocked, no, wait, thats an understatement. We were the escense of awesome. The axis of power. We were the band that people loved to come watch. The only problem was that were we're unknown. We do have a fan base but it is very small. What we need is to get signed up with someone big, like Bring Me The Horizon or Hawthorne Heights. That would be what we need.

That was the band's needs. What I needed was something completely different. What I needed waws love. Someone to actually want to know me and not be with me cause I'm in a band. Hey, we can all dream right? Whats wrong with a little bit of wishful thinking?

Drake always had plenty of girls hanging off of him. Didn't help that he was pretty much a man whore either. He was always picking up girls after shows. Thus, the only reason why he didn't car pool with us to shows. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten AIDS or some form of STD from his light night adventures.

Other than that, the other members of Bloody Snowmen all had someone special. Why didn't I ever get that chance? Why did I care? I had everything that I could ever want. I have a rather successful band. I'm making good money off of it. I have a nice place that I share with the boys, and a kick ass car.

We finished our song and the crowd cheered. I smiled at them and we put our stuff down. Our set was done. Now, it was time to mingle. Honestly my favorite part of this gig. Like Jeremy, I usally watched the scene. I enjoyed watching Drake make girld drool over him. Watching Sam make some stupid joke that everyone laughed at. Watching David hold his girlfriend close whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Then Jeremy, who stood in the corner watching the same way I did.

I envyed them all. They we're all really awesome people. They were my best friends and my family. We all understood each other and we all had each others back. None the less, I did envy them. I let out an exhausted breath and smiled at those who came and complimented me.

The 'top dog' came over to me. He basically ran this joint. He was the boss and a friend.

"You guys did great, as usuall," he smiled and handed me an envelope.

I smiled and nodded, "Only because you're awesome with a sound board."

His cheeks flushed bright pink. He was also gay, which made him all that much more cooler. I loved the fact that people here accepted the same sex rule. Everyone who showed up had an emense amount of respect for him. He made all this possible and he was such a sweetheart.

"I've got news for you, Nathan," he put on his serious face. Like he always did when he had something very important to share or that something was wrong. His eyes held excitment this time though.

"Yes, Justin?" I asked him with curiosity.

"I had Sara record Bloody Snowmen's performance of Escape, I'm going to submit it to this years battle of the bands tourniment dealio, with your permission of course," he looked at me hopeful.

"I thought you need an origional peice too?" I asked him

"That's why you are coming back to play next week, they changed up the rules this year, they need a cover and an origional," he was fearing rejection. I read it in his eyes.

"You think I'd even think of saying no? To win that thing is my dream," I smiled broudly.

The last two years the Bloody Snowmen were submitted the placed second to our rival band: 5 Car Pile Up. They all hated me and my band. I never understood why, I think was because Drake took the lead singers girlfriend. Oh well. Shit happens, right?

Justin wore an excited smile. Honestly, I was glad he had my back. He was our number one fan after all. He helped us get so popular amoung the family of people who run this shindig.

Justin rose and went to the door to open it. The place started to empty a bit. The Show was technically over, but this was half teen hang out zone for everyone as well. It made good money though. From what Justin told me.

I stretched and yawned. Thats when I saw her from across the room. Staring straight at me. Why did she have to come? Just why? She walked over in my direction. Maybe she wasn't looking at me, maybe she was looking at somone else. She was blocked by a few people pushing each other playfully. Here was my chance, I can jump behind the couch. She emerged and sat righ next to me.

"Hi, Hannah," I let out in a disdain tone.

"Hello Nathan, good show," four words. That's four more then what I usually get. She must want something.

"Is there something you want?" I said in a low tone.

Hannah had dumped me for what seemed like to me, a very stupid choice. She decided that I wasn't good enough anymore and that the whole being in a band made me big headed. So she choose to be with some goth kid from her school. I didn't have anything against goths, just the ones that Hannah likes, and by likes I mean dating. By dating I mean face sucking boyfriend/girlfriend. Need I say more?

"Well since you asked, I am missing my old sweater, and the coffee table that I had bought you for ur birthday," this girl had really become heartless.

Her sweatshirt was out of the question. It was what I had held on to everynight to help me sleep. May sound obsessive but It was true. I missed Hannah, very much, but somethings can't be helped.

The coffee table on the other hand, was more like a slap in the face. I seriously was in the mood for some alcohal right now. Ease the pain of loss.

I nodded slowly and spoke, "I'll get you your things tomorrow, I'll bring them to your house."

She smiled a fake smile and got up to leave. I put my head in my hands and as if on cue, Drake came over to comfort me. He said his usuall things about Hannah ever since our break up.

Maybe the reason why I couldn't find love was because I wasn't sure if it existed anymore.