The Ice Warrior

Chapter 46

"Ever since I can remember, I was told by my parents that we make our own destiny and that we have to fight to do so. They ingrained in me the hate for the Government and its need for absolute control. However, that entailed a lot of training and not much else. I didn't have a childhood or a choice, and I resented them for it." Justin started speaking, his voice determined.

It appeared to Silv as if he had learned to chain his emotions well as years went by. After all, in the world they lived in, one couldn't let their feelings run around freely. It could be dangerous, deadly even.

"None of us had a childhood, at least not in the way that childhood used to be before this became just an icy rock," Silv said as gently as possible.

"I understand that now but at the time, I wished to be free to do what I wanted. I believed people should pursue their passions and fighting was definitely not something I liked. It's as if my young brain couldn't understand that my parents didn't force me to train so hard because they were evil, but simply because it was a necessity." Justin said.

"At least you had parents to start with. My parents were never there," Silv said.

"That's just the point. I didn't have my parents for the majority of my life. That is just one of the things we have in common." Justin said.

"I don't understand," Silv admitted.

With a long sigh, Justin readjusted his clothing, which didn't need any adjustments, as he did his best to prepare himself to voice the words he hated saying. The same words that broke his heart no matter how many times he had to pronounce them.

"My parents were rarely home. They kept fighting the injustices that increased as the years went by. Then they were killed, and I never got to apologize to them for every mean thing I ever said. I never got to tell them that I understood why they insisted I train. They knew that weak people died in this world. You had to protect yourself if you wanted to survive." Justin said.

The silence that ensued was louder than any words ever could be. It was as if even Evanescence was stunned by the painful revelation.

"I am so sorry. What happened to them?" Silv asked, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"They were caught plotting against the Government and were immediately executed. There was no trial, no justice, just instant death. They were killed for trying to provide our district with better conditions, with more food and water. They were heroes, and yet I, their own son, always saw them as tyrants." Justin said, lowering his head in embarrassment.

"You were young. You didn't understand that your parents did what they had to do, to protect you and your brothers. At least you have the knowledge that your parents died trying to make a better world for you and your brothers. Mine are just mindless Government puppets, and they've never been anything more than that." Silv said.

"I guess I am lucky because I know now that my parents loved me that they did what they did for me. Still, I wish they told me that more. It would have been nice if they showed more affection and if they hugged me more. That way, I would have known sooner that they did care about me." Justin said.

Without thinking about it, Silv shifted her position and hugged Justin with as much force as she could muster in her exhausted body. She wanted to erase all the pain he had suffered using the simplest of human gestures that sometimes could mean the world.

At first, Justin stiffened, unused to the action, but then he relaxed in Silv's embrace. He allowed himself to be vulnerable for the first time in years as two tears slowly ran down his cheeks.

"Thank you," Justin whispered.

"For what?" Silv asked, enjoying the warmth of their hug.

"For reminding me that it's okay to feel. Sometimes things happen so quickly that I forget that it's okay to feel, to grieve. It is a human thing to do, and it makes things so much better than being just a fighter, an insensitive soldier. Even if they are fighting for a good cause, soldiers sometimes forget that feeling is okay, that it makes them different from those they are fighting against." Justin said.

Silv realized that what he said was true for her as well. She kept trying to stop herself from feeling so that she could deal with problems as they arose. However, if she cut off her emotions altogether, she ran the risk of becoming like the monsters they were fighting. They all had.

"You are right. We need to have in mind that fighting for freedom also means the right to express one's emotions no matter what they are." Silv said, breaking the hug.

"What happened after your parents died?" Silv asked cautiously.

She was still uncertain how much she could ask. How vulnerable Justin was willing to become. Especially having in mind that he had already revealed to her more than she thought he would, even more than she shared.

"Well, that's where another similarity between you and I is. My brothers and I were sent to live with grandpa. He is an awesome role model, but our lives were never normal. It was impossible for us." Justin said.

"Oh, yes, I forgot. Justin is not your real name. What is your real name?" Silv asked, curious.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day, but for now, I prefer Justin. Honestly, it's no longer about secrecy. I just got used to it. In a way, it became me." Justin explained.

"So to sum up, we both had no parents in our lives, one way or the other. We were raised by our grandparents and had an odd military or military-like training?" Silv asked.

"That's just the surface, what I've noticed so far. We could have a lot more in common, but we'll never know if you keep pushing me away. If you keep pushing everyone away." Justin said softly.

"I know, that makes sense, but it's not easy, you know," Silv said.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Not being afraid. When I am in physical danger, I can deal with it. I can allow my training to kick in. But how do you protect yourself from suffering emotional pain?" Silv asked.

"You can't. But that's also what makes us human. Pain is part of us as much as good emotions are. They are inseparable, and you have to accept it all to be truly able to be closer to other people." Justin said.

"That's scary," Silv said.

"You're telling me. I thought you might blow my head off for just asking you if you were okay." Justin said, smiling.

"I wasn't that scary," Silv said, grinning.

"Sure, sure. Not scary at all." Justin said.

His tone made it clear he was saying the opposite of what was true.

"Honestly, sometimes it feels like you prefer the aliens than any of the humans," Justin added.

"Sometimes, I do. The aliens have never betrayed me. They never hurt me even though our people tortured them. On the other hand, humans have hurt me in different ways that I sometimes wonder if they are even worth the trouble." Silv said.

"We are. Or at least we try to be. Come on, let me introduce you to some nice people. I think the problem was you always ran into the bad people. It's time you meet some good ones." Justin said, offering her his hand.

Silv accepted his hand, and as he pulled her up, their bodies collided.

"Sorry," they said at the same time, blushing profusely.

Then they awkwardly set off to meet the rest of the humans who Justin hoped would change Silv's mind about the human race.