Why Now? (matthew espinosa)

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JENNS POV:

I came home from school and all the boys were home already. The only guys i really trust now is cameron and shawn. I just want shawn to strum his guitar to safe and sound softly while i cry and softly hum the tune. I want cameron to just hold my hand tightly and assure me that it will soon all be over. I ran up the stairs Taylor was home but i didn't care i just went up stairs i changed into comfy clothes and laid in my bed.

It didn't take long for me to break apart, i knew i only had two more days and i was done thank god but i still didn't want to go. i got up and franticly searched for my razors, hoping they would be were i left them. i checked and they weren't there i freaked out and ran down stars i was in a white tank top and maroon mama sweatpants. A little bit of my tummy was showing i guess you could say im "skinny" but i do t care about my size its the least of my worries, everybody always asks me how i get a "flat" tummy like that and how i fit in a double 0 size pants. Honestly I have no idea.

I ran into the downstairs bathroom. Nothing. Fuck. If they aren't here then someone must have found them. I ran to Taylor's room.

"TAYLOR?!?" I yelled, considering he's part of the reason i even cut.

"Taylor?!?" I said again but a little more quiet.

I barged into his room and saw him with seven different types of razors all being more scary and sharp looking than another, all over the floor and his head in his hands, just sitting and crying with all of the boys surrounding him crying cameron, shawn, matt, jack, and Johnson all looked so broken.

"Wh-what are y-you guys d-doing with tho-those?" I asked with tears streaming down my face.

They all jumped a bit and looked up to see me standing in the doorway. They ALL had bloodshot puffy eyes, and huge purple bags under their eyes, like they have been crying for days.

"Cameron, shawn? Can we talk for a second?" I asked them.

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Sorry this is all i had guys its been really hard cause my graduation is coming up in a few weeks and i need to have goo grades😞😞😞im so sorry for the girls who were disappointed,