I Knew They'd Call You

Particles

"Jennifer-" I heard from the doorway that had been propped open since morning. I quickly turned, recognizing the familiar voice that was now slowly walking into the room. I looked up, seeing Will standing nervously against the wall. He rubbed his mouth with his hand, looking shocked at Emily. 

"Will, I di-"

"I know I didn't tell you I was coming, but I just heard, and I figured you could use a familiar face down here," he suggested, cautiously coming farther into the room. He sat down next to me, not being able to take his eyes off of Emily. 

For minutes, he would open his mouth and then close it, as if he was going to say something that he continuously decided was unimportant before he actually said it. I could tell that he didn't have anything to say- he didn't know what to say. I didn't blame him. I still don't know what to say. 

Even though we've been divorced for a while now, I still found comfort knowing that he was here with me. Even though by this point I was starting to know all of the nursing staff here on a first name basis, it was nice to see an actual familiar face. 

I never thought that we would have as good of a relationship with each other as we do now. You hear all of those horror stories about terrible divorces and court cases and so many other crazy things. I think we both just knew what was going on and understood why our relationship wasn't working out. We're both very happy about the time that we got to spend together, and are so grateful that we're able to bring our son into the world, but sometimes things just don't work out how you like, and we were completely okay with that. 

I always imagined, from the day that Emily and I even started talking, that Will would make problems with our relationship. The situation that happened between us isn't the most common, and it takes a man with a lot of respect to be able to handle it how he did. He never tried to fight with my emotions or tell me how I felt. The entire situation worked out a lot better than I could have ever imagined. 

*** 

"You don't think I'm in it for the long haul." 

"No, Em, that's not what I mean at all, I just-"

"That's what it sounded like." 

"Emily, you don't understand how much you mean to me. I want you there for the long haul. I want to wake up to you every morni-"

"Then why can't you just believe me? What is it going to take for me to prove to you that I want you; that I want this."

"I'm just, I'm scared, Emily." 

"Look, just because Will couldn't commit to being here doesn't mean that I can't. I'm in your arms, JJ, I'm in your bed. There is absolutely no other place in this world that I would rather be. I-"

"I know, Em, I-"

"Jennifer Jareau, I love you. Okay? I am so madly in love with you. I have been in love with you since the damn day that I met you, so don't for one single second think that I'm going to up and leave you anytime soon." 

"Em."

"What? What did I say? B-"

"No, Emily, stop. It's just. It's the first time you said that. T- that you loved me." 

"Well, I mean it. Get it through your thick skull. You and Henry mean the world to me, JJ. More than you'd ever know. I want you, I want this. I want all of the bumps and bruises that come in between. I'm not scared, and I'm not going to up and leave, okay?"

"I love you."

***

"I- I didn't know she was in such bad shape," he said quietly. I pursed my lips, looking in his direction. I waited for him to talk again, but he didn't for a while. He just sat there, his eyes still glued to the bed.