I Knew They'd Call You

Superwoman

"No, no! Please!" I sobbed into my hands. I stopped myself from looking as her chest sank for the last time. A nurse that I hadn't met before began pressing button after button on the surrounding machines. As the room came to a dull hum, my sobs grew louder. I couldn't breathe. She left the room.

"Ms. Jareau."

My hands grew cold and I felt the blood rush out of my face. The lights in the room above me shut off and I was left in the darkness, sitting in front of the lifeless woman in front of me.

A shiver fell over me.

I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to stay breathing knowing that she wasn't going to be here anymore.

I couldn't stay up, I couldn't move. I was glued to the floor.

"Ms. Jareau?"

I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I couldn't open them again to see her lying still in front of me.

"Ms. Jareau!" 

I finally pried my own eyes open.

"Ms. Jareau, it's Dr. Adler. Are you okay?" a voice asked from above me. I looked up at him, feeling warm tears still dripping down my face. "Ms. Jareau, a bad dream?"

I nodded sheepishly, quickly wiping the tears from my eyes. He sat down next to me.

"My father was killed in a car accident when I was 17, I had nightmares for weeks and weeks after," he said dismally, putting his hand on my arm. "It's normal, you're okay, she's okay, you're both very safe," he assured. I nodded, still trying to fix my face, respecting his comforting personality. I pulled my sweatshirt sleeves over my hands, wrapping my arms around my own body. I smiled, nonverbally thanking him.

"She's still quite out of it, that'll be normal for the first day or few. It might take a little bit for her to come round, regain her surroundings. Keep talking to her, keep telling her about your day. Slowly, she'll come out of it."

I looked over to her, my heart rate slowing greatly, compared to when I first woke up.

"You're still not sure about her brain function?"

He pursed his lips, shaking his head.

"Not quite. All we can do now is how. But Ms. Jareau, you know just how strong she is. Once she's fully awake, we'll have a much better idea. I don't like to make promises, but I think she'll come round."

The two of us sat in quiet, not taking our eyes off of Emily. No more tubes coming from her mouth, no more constant, loud beeping machines. Just a cannula, IV, and a blood pressure cuff. She already looked much better.

Breathing became easier. The tightness in my chest slowly started to subside. My constant and obsessive fidgeting stopped.

Nothing was certain, but I was my hope was growing incrementally, day by day.

***

"JJ, please give me some good news today. My fragile, worried heart can't take this much longer," Garcia's worried voice begged across the phone. Hearing her voice always seemed to make me feel safe, no matter what was going on.

Garcia and I had talked almost every day since being in the hospital. She always wanted to know what was going on, and even though it was really hard to talk about it, I knew that it was probably something I should do. Sitting and ruminating with all of my thoughts wasn't the best for my mental state. I can't even begin to imagine the number of times she must have heard me cry at this point.

Each time we talked, she would offer to buy a plane ticket that second so that she could come and sit with me. She constantly flaunted her seldom-used go-bag, and that she could leave right that second. I wanted nothing more than for her to come and stay with me. Trust me, if I had to choose between Garcia and Will, you know I'd rather Garcia. But I knew that the team needed her; there was nobody like Garcia.