Sheltered Heart

Chapter 6

After days of sneaking around and keeping this a secret. I have still not been able to convince him to stay with me. He refuses to come and spend the night in my apartment since he was there the last time. At least he has been staying at the shelter every single night since we started seeing each other. Everyone working here have been completely baffled by his behavior, telling themselves that it's a miracle. But we both know the real reason. The days I don't work nights are difficult. I really want to spend time with him but not by overdoing it or giving anyone a reason to notice. He has been gentle, overcompensating and sweet towards me after he told me everything that he has been through. Still I feel like doing something to help him. It's almost an unbearable feeling not being able to help him, in any way. If we were to become something else, I know than he needs to do something for himself. Zeke even told me why he got the black eye, the night he came to my house. He had been street fighting for money which made me incredible scared and worried about his safety, due to his situation. He promised me that he wouldn't do it again. That he would try to get his life straighten out. There are a lot of things he needs to straighten out, to get on his feet again. But I am certain that with my help he has a chance to get it all back. Even if he doesn't want my help. While carrying a tray into the kitchen I overhear José and Miguel speak about Zeke. To be able to listen, I work as slowly as I can removing the things from the tray into the dishwasher. "Very strange, well at least we know where he is this time around," José says to Miguel while he agrees, "my gut tells me that there is something else bringing him here. Why else would he start now?" Raul surprises me coming behind me with another tray. He looks at me wondering why I am so slow with the dishes. This fake back pain is something that makes the gentleman Raul, offer to help me with the dishes. Still I insist on doing it myself, so I can keep on listening into their conversation. "What do you think brings him around here?" Raul asks me. Catching me off guard with the question. In a flash I run through different made up theories in my mind while I blush, "I would say none of your business what he is doing here," Gary says entering the kitchen. Amused by the topic of the kitchen staff. My hero, he saves me from coming up with a lame excuse. "We are not bullshitting him, everyone knows we like him but there is something that he is keeping back now", Miguel adds defending himself. I need to put a stop on this before they start to speculate things even further, "hasn't he always been very private and keeping his reasons for being here in the first place secretly?". Everyone looks at me surprised that I even gave out an opinion about him. They all look at me wondering where this came from. They have always thought that I don't like him. Because every time they spoke about him, I gave out an annoyed sigh. Raul breaks the stare game by shaking his head, "nah, he is hiding something else. I just know it! That's my grandmothers brujeria in me, I promise you all he is keeping a very deep secret". I insist on not to speculate and to just let him keep being as private as he has been before. That he might not, "be hiding a big secret", Max enters the room hearing the very last sentence. He stops and stares at me. The word secret makes him react, maybe he thinks I am telling them about that night Zeke saved me. Scared he that he might say something, I excuse myself from the kitchen. But Max follows me, "wait stop! What is it that Zeke told you before when he made you promise to keep it a secret?" knowing that I need to come up with something, so he backs off from finding any dirt on Zeke. I decide to tell him some of the truth, keeping us a secret. "He just told me that it wasn't his first time in a fight, apparently he used to be a boxer", Max looks at me surprised, "there is no way he is a boxer!". I smile trying my best to make him stop asking questions, "I knew he had some skills when he protected you from two guys! But I can't imagine him being a boxer and not making a career out of it". I already said too much, so I tell him that I don't know more and that he only told me this because I wanted to know where he learned to fight like that. Max buys my white lie. Still baffled about him being a former boxer he starts to walk me all the way to the staff room. Talking about different theories of how he got to the point of being homeless, and not having anyone there to help him get up on his feet again. When he hit rock bottom. That's why I am in his life now. There is nothing that can screw this up! Sarah gathers everyone for a work meeting sounding serious, I get nervous about her finding out about any of my secrets. About me and him, the night I was attacked, about my father being wealthy. I am carrying too many secrets for my own sake. We all wait for her to say something, I really want her to get any sentence out of her mouth, so we can know the reason why she has gathered us here. She starts to talk about the shelter getting a lot of donations after the article was written. That she has also been offered a lot of interviews. All because of the attention we have received the past few weeks, "I have agreed on a short interview that is going to be made here tomorrow, about the shelter. A reporter from a news station is coming. We are going to show her around the shelter, and she is also going to interview a few of you", there is something about this that makes me nervous. I don't want to be in the headlights, nor do I want to be interviewed, "I want to give out different perspective from my different staff members. I was hoping that, you Raul, Gary and Annabelle would be interested on doing this?". Gary and Raul are happy with them getting elected, they even high five like children while jumping up with joy. Compared to me, who is sitting burying myself into the chair, not knowing what to say. But I can't take the risk of showing myself on television. Fully aware that everyone that knows my father might contact him. Interrogate him to know what I am up to in a homeless shelter. "Could you have Max do it?" I ask disappointing her. Everyone looks at me shocked by me, wanting to pass on the opportunity of showing up on television. She asks Max to take my place, of course he accepts. He is very happy about it and I should have been too. Finalizing the meeting makes me and Gary the last ones to exit the kitchen. Of course, he asks me about me not wanting to be interviewed for the shelter, I give him a made-up excuse. About me being uncomfortable and having stage fright, for someone reasons he buys it. Or he is just going along with it because he knows that I don't want to really discuss it. I look at the time and see that it's time to close up the shelter. Closing the door, I see Zeke with his backpack rushing towards the entrance just making it before we shut the doors. I notice him wearing new pants and sweater. Gary talks to him for a few minutes while I go around checking every bed. Making sure that we have the right count. When I return to Gary, he tells me that he was giving Zeke a warning, about tomorrow being a field of journalists and camera men. According to Gary he knows that Zeke doesn't like the press or journalist getting their nose where they don't belong. Oh my god, afraid of that being true and slightly disappointed I stare at him. He is sitting on a bunk bed giving me a short smile, trying his best to hide that he is happy to see me. At the same time trying not to make anyone else notice. When Gary falls asleep, I get up as quietly as possible from my bed, leaving the door unlocked but closed. Looking in the dark, I look after Zeke. It isn't easy, but I can see that his bed is empty, meaning that he is the kitchen waiting for me as we have done the past days. As I walk into the kitchen, I see him sitting on bar stool, with a glass of milk. I smile seeing him there forgetting about Gary telling me that he hates publicity, "hey" he says turning around his bar stool facing me. He takes my hands kissing them getting me closer to him, "what is it? You seem worried?" he asks knowing that there is something bothering me. There is nothing I can say without letting him know about the truth. So, I make up an excuse about me being tired from a busy day. He knows that I am lying but he decides not to push me. Instead he kisses me in the kitchen making me forget about everything and about where we are. The heat of the moment makes me do things I have no control over. As far as I know, when I'm with Zeke I have no power over myself anymore. I don't care, I won't let tomorrow's issues worry me right now. She specifically told us not to wear the clothes we work in to look more sophisticated. Wearing my black pants and a long armed denim shirt I feel comfortable enough, not to stick out nor to overdressed to impress. The news team will join us at the serving of the dinner in the shelter. It feels funny standing with Gary wearing his own clothes. He actually looks very nice. While we wait for the crew to get into the shelter, I can hear the kitchen staff being excited. They have brushed their hair, looking very well taken care off. Almost too nice to be working in the kitchen. I give Miguel and José compliments to boost their confidence even more. At last the crew from the news cast are here, I scan every one of them checking so none of them know me. To my relief there is no one familiar. Sarah calls over the ones that are going to be interviewed before dinner starts. Relieved by the idea of not knowing anyone, I go outside to take a smoke. When I head back inside to the salon, they have set up the equipment. Max is being interviewed smiling at the reporter making me smile, until I hear someone calling me. Calling me by my real name, "Annabelle Reeves, is that you?!" I feel something hard drop into my stomach, not knowing where I can run and hide. Turning around I see Martha Wills, one of my old friends who I studied with to become a journalist. Most importantly who knows everything about me and my family. She rushes to give me a hug as always dragging all the attention to herself, meaning that all the attention is on me too. Gary stares at us with the rest of my colleagues while Max is being interviewed. My hands shake with anxiety of being uncovered, "hi, god! What are you doing here? Are you also making an article about this place?" Never felt this embarrassed in my life, making me feel nauseated that I could vomit right here and now. Not embarrassed to be working here, but for them to know the truth. Everyone in the shelter has known me as Annabelle Ellis which was my mother's middle name, "Martha, what are you doing here?" I ask trying to get her to talk quieter. I take her softly by the arm moving her away from the rest of the people, "I am here working for the news cast, I would have never thought to see you here. What are you doing here?" she asks excited failing to keep her voice down. Gary moves his way over to us and so does Raul. Joining us. They all introduce each other while I stand there like a freak, "so how do you two know each other?" Raul asks knowing that this type of girl won't keep her mouth shut after making a scene just after being here 5 minutes. Martha starts to brag about our fathers having business in the past, "me and Annabelle here are practically sisters, growing up in the same private school. Later going to the same university until she started to work for the light magazine whilst, I perused my anchor dream at the news channel," feeling ashamed of my secret I look down at my hands trying to make sense of how this happened. "Wow! I guess there is a lot we didn't know about Annabelle Ellis," Raul says sounding slightly disappointed at me for keeping all of this a secret. "Ellis? No, her name is Annabelle Reeves. You know like the big shot NY realtor Gerard Reeves, that owns all Reeves home enterprises" making matters worse I ask her to stop talking about my father and his business. Martha looks at me funny trying to understand why I am acting this way, "Ann, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Your family is wealthy so what? There are a lot of people that are, oh I got to go back. Talk to you guys later" she says as the reporter waves her over to interview the next person in line which is Raul. Before he leaves for his interview, I see him looking down at me upset. There is nothing I can say to make it better. This was the reason I tried to keep everything quiet. Gary exhales out heavily rubbing his forehead with his fingers frustrated trying to find something to say, "why didn't you say anything?" frustrated as well I let out a sigh, "why do you think? Look at you guys! The way you just looked at me finding out who my father is. It changed the way you feel about me", he looks at me trying my best to hold back my tears. Instead I walk towards the kitchen not wanting to make a scene in front of people, Gary goes after me. "I didn't ask for my father to be rich, why should I be treated differently because of it?" I ask on our way into the kitchen. As we stand in the kitchen, I think about them not wanting me here anymore. "I am not mad at you, just shocked that you didn't tell us, at least me. Annabelle, you are richer than the community we work for", he puts his arm around me comforting me. And trying to let me know that he still cares. "I should have told you guys but it's hard for me, I have always been labeled because of it" Gary nods while still holding me in his arms. "Ann, there is one other thing you need to answer. What did she mean that you used to work for the light magazine? Was it you who wrote the article on the shelter?" surprised that I didn't even think about because I was worried about being discovered. Everyone is going to be able to find everything I have ever written for the light, also everything about my family with one search. "Yes. I did", he smiles at me telling me that I did a good job with the article. Gary also tells me not to worry about the others, that they will get over it. But that I still need to be prepared about them being hurt, because I lied. Thankful I hug him tight. While I finish cleaning up after having the dinner here, the news cast has left and so has the homeless that were willing to be filmed. Fred and Zeke not being one of them. Sarah calls me into her office before my shift ends. I haven't been in here since the first time I started working here. Being in here makes me feel like I am about to be punished for what happened. She asks me to sit down in front of her. Nervously I do it, "I wanted to talk about what happened here today with your friend," not letting her finish I tell her that I am very sorry about what happened. That she made a scene seeing me here, but Sarah stops me from continuing, by lifting up her finger. I stay quiet for her to say what's on her chest. I know that this is my last day working here. Most importantly it can be the end for me and Zeke. "Annabelle, your last name has been something I have known about for a very long time. I always knew your real last name, there is no way I'll hire someone without doing a backstory check. I have never wanted to bring it up because I knew that you had a reason from keeping it to yourself. So, did I when I first started working here, but I learned to live with the idea of people seeing me differently. I worked my ass off to get where I am now, without any of my family's money". After all this time, she confirms my suspicion about her coming from a wealthy family. She makes me feel better about my lie being exposed, "don't let that come in the way of what you have been doing here. Now I'll see you back here tomorrow night for your nightshift" smiling she leaves me feel a lot better. Who would have guessed that Sarah knew more about me than I did about her? "One last thing, good work on the article", she says realizing that it was me, who wrote it. I smile at her appreciating her handling this well and giving me a chance to prove myself. I realize that I accidentally fell asleep on the couch when I hear the door being knocked on. It's a hard, strong knock. In a hurry I get up feeling my head spin around, I look out the peephole seeing Zeke. This is making me very worried. As I open up the door, he walks in a rush looking at me angry. Making him feel very intimidating, "tell me that it's not true!" he blurs out making me realize that somebody told him about their new findings, about me being rich. I look into his eyes and I can tell that this is a deal breaker, "please just let me-" he shakes his head not letting me finish. He is not here for an explanation. He is here to break things off with me, "how could I do this to you? You having all that money, why would you be with someone like me? I don't even have a home for god sake!" his angry tone scares me, not about him hurting me. But about him leaving me. I close my eyes not being able to look into his eyes as he confronts me. Shaking my head trying to hold back my tears and not breaking down. As much as I try to comfort his with a touch or a kiss, he doesn't allow me to come near him. Afraid I stand there quietly, knowing what he is going to say next. He tells me to look at him, avoiding him he keeps calling my name until I do as he asks, "Annabelle, I can't be your boyfriend. I'm not what you deserve. This was not the world you were made for, but this is my world now". His word cut me into small pieces that the wind spread all over this room leaving me empty. "I don't care" I answer trying to kiss him, he looks away once again leaving me hanging. "Listen to me, we can't go on like this. We are from two totally different worlds and I have nothing to offer you, it was already hard but now it is impossible", he continues trying to argue back. What if he is right? What if this was just an adventure that should be kept untold. With no future. I'm not ready to accept that, I haven't even had the chance to help him get his life back. I have been so focused on spending time with him, enjoying him being mine. My desperation turns into anger. Angry that he would give up on us, angry that he doesn't want me anymore. Angry, that I let this happen in the first place. "So, it's over?" I ask him, feeling a tear falling down my cheek. He nods softly, "fine, please just leave me alone from now on so I can go on with my old rich life without you" I say without thinking about the words leaving my mouth. I am too upset and frustrated to be aware of what I am saying or to even care. At this precise second I don't care if I hurt him, I just want him to feel as bad as I do right now, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it" I say as he puts his hand on the doorknob about to leave me. He is about to get back to his old life where he is surrounded by darkness and suffering, "yes you did Annabelle" fighting back my tears he leaves me with those words repeating in my head. His words rip me apart as I slide down sitting on the floor burying my face in my own hands by the door. The tears fall down out of control, frustrated with what just happened and how things ended. After sitting there for a few minutes, I collect myself trying to think about a way to help him. At least try to do what I can to make him think about himself. Being something more than just a man without a house. Struggling to get up from the floor I head to my bedroom looking for my laptop on the small desk. I reopen the empty sheet about him with the last four words I wrote not knowing what I know today.

Boxer - Street fighter

28 years old.

Brooklyn.

Zeke - Ezekiel Mills

Correcting what I already wrote with what I know now. I think about how the day after we spent our first night together was. I see him staring at the glass making me feel amused. I ask him what he is doing watching the un-washed glass from the sink, that he hasn't withdraw his eyes from. "Sorry, I got caught up in something" he says trying to hide what he is really thinking about. I insist on knowing what he was thinking about watching the glass, until he gives up his attempt on changing the subject, "it was a memory of something I used to have, I owned the same glasses once" he tells revealing one of his secret from the past. Still holding the glass in his hand watching it. I start to laugh slowly until it he starts to laugh louder not being able to stop. There we are standing in my kitchen laughing hysterically. He seems happy to be here, "god I feel so bad. That's such an inappropriate thing to laugh about" I say defending my shameful side. "Come here" he says pulling me from the bottom of my top closer to him. He strokes my hair with one hand while the other is resting on my lower back. You are extremely beautiful, you have no idea" I try to kiss him to shut him up because I am very bad on receiving compliments, but he looks away still holding me close to his body. "No, you always distract me with your lips not letting me... finish," he says seriously, I smile watching him smile back at me. "Annabelle, you have no idea what you make me feel", remembering that perfect moment makes me sad of having lost it just minutes before. I start to look up everything I can find on him in the internet, seeing some impressive titles. Some in which he has won several matches during his time as a boxer. All of this before he started to work as a street fighting to provide for himself. Finally, I start to write some notes in the empty sheet. By the end of the night I finishing up an entire page on "Mills - the untold truth".