𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘

Letters Leaving Him Ruined

destiel.
mentions of serious topics. (suicide, death, mental health issues, etc.)
do not read it sensitive or unable to handle them, please.

He stood silently, hands faintly shaking as the letter being held in them was forcefully opened.

          Dean,
                      I know I'm gone. I know because you wouldn't find this unless I am. Maybe I've already been put in the cold and lifeless ground. Maybe I've been the cause of your screams and curses.
                    I don't believe you deserve the heartbreak. I don't believe you deserve the man I was.
                   I was riddled with hell from the beginning, and I brought it down onto your angelic shoulders. The hell was absolute, and so was your angelic nature, but the corrupt always wins. It never fails to bring the heavenly and divine to a hellish creation led to the road no one should stroll down. My mind was the hell; your heart and very soul the purest thing I had ever taken. I ripped and disfigured it until you were no longer yourself. You were me now, and that meant your ending had to be mine.
                  I didn't do it because I wanted to leave you. I wanted your glowing halo to be seen again, and with me by your side, connected by name and love, wouldn't let that become a reality again. I did it for that one reason, and I hope the corrupt can fail this once.
                 I want you to use the wings you've always had and glide over the plains of my memory. Forgetting about my impact on a man like you would make the scarring I've left a healed mark of beauty.
                A thing so dark should have never been lovable. A thing as pure as you should replace it and live true. I'm telling you to forget me. Forget the hell and remember the new heaven.

                            Regretfully,
                                  A Hellishly Damned Man

The tears began almost instantaneously, and the shaking had become visibly stronger. The words could not exit his mouth, causing him to lower himself to the floor and pour his leaking heart out onto the very notebook he had just read from.

           Castiel,
                         You were never the downfall of my halo. I made my choice, and it was to be by your side, even if I seemed to slowly become a corrupted soul.
                         You — in every sense of the word — were never damned. You were never a product of absolute hell. You were my good. My pure. My love.
                         It was never a curse. The curse was your own mind. The poems and stories you crafted from the brilliant thing my heart raced around were reflections of the hell you were riddled with. That hell never seeped into my pure and angelic nature. I understood your troubles, even when you denied the nagging and taunting your own head brought you.
                         I won't forget. I can't. I never changed, but your ill mind thought otherwise. I still love you with everything I have, and no pure man can replace it.
                         Your end to life was my end to the will it required. But I'll keep going, because you always told me two lines are never the answer, even though you failed to make it remain true.
                         You were named after an angel because you were one. You still are one. The only thing you corrupted was my whole life, and it was not a negative action. It defined me as a whole, and I'll never say it was a mistake.
                         I miss you.

                                              Love,
                                                        Dean

Much like the splatter of blood drops in the corner of the first letter, the blend of ink and tears ruined the second, but the latter didn't contain a single lie. He hugged the notebook close to his chest, throwing the pen to the corner of the room, finally letting the sobs control and rack his body.

(628 words)

A / N -

no requests this time, i'm sorry!

anyway, another depressing prompt, how are we feeling?

and i know, i know, i write too many things on these topics or with similar plotlines, but i feel like they are what i am truly good at doing.

have an amazing rest of your day, and don't forget that i love you all. ♡︎