Inescapable | Drarry + Bleville ✔︎

Chapter 20

Blaise's POV:

Blaise walks down the hall, trying to find where Neville was. The Hufflepuff said he went this way, Hufflepuff's don't lie, right? Surely he was right. But, that didn't make him feel any better. Far down the hall he watched as Hannah Abbott and his one true love hold hands while Hannah lays her head on his shoulder. First he felt nothing, then a wave of sadness washed over him. He can't cry, especially not in front of Neville. Not in front of anyone! Slytherin's don't cry.

He walks as fast as he can away from the scene, only to walk ever faster as anger began to creep into him.

He stops in front of a door and slams his fist on the wood multiple times.

"What the-" the door swings open, "Woah! You look like you're about to murder someone!" says a terrified Draco in front of him.

"Get out here, now." Blaise demands.

Draco steps out. "What is wrong with you?"

"Look, I'm sorry if I shout at you. I just really want to scream and punch something!" Blaise shouts. Draco quickly cast muffliato as he listens to Blaise. "I was trying to get our deal done, you know, tell Neville how I feel. I was walking down the hall and there they fucking were! Abbott got there before me! Granted, I knew I had no chance but now there is no way I can possibly tell him now! First Luna, which wasn't actually anything... And now Hannah?! How is it that nothing ever goes my way?! I was born with a mother who pays me no attention and will buy her damn boyfriend some food and leave me to eat stale leftovers. I had to learn how to cook for myself! Now the one thing that I thought could bring me happiness slips out of my fingers! Why is it always me?!" Blaise sighs before continuing, "But most of all, I hate myself! I hate myself for hating them together! I should be happy for them! I love him for Merlin's sake, but... I don't know." He sighs once more, "I want to cry but I also want to hex her into oblivion. I don't know maybe me and him were never meant to be." Blaise says, finally calming down and plopping down on the floor below him. "Maybe I'm not meant for anyone. Wow I really am embarrassing myself now."

"No, not at all." Draco sits beside him, "I wanna let you know something that no one else knows. For years I've been seen as this perfect boy with this perfect family when really... I'm none of that. I mess up everything I do and I just can't seem to gain my father's love. My mother's, maybe, but she barely has time for me. Whenever my father does or says something, she doesn't pay much attention and she doesn't seem to care either. I'm just some invisible boy walking the house. Unless it's my father of course... he always notices me... but not in the way I'd hope."

"What do you mean?" Blaise asks him.

"My father, he... He has very high expectations. Ones that I really can't meet. I'm expected to know every polite rule in the book from birth, always look polished, never gain any weight, marry a girl, carry on the Malfoy name... When I don't meet these expectations or I do something he dislikes..." Draco sighs and fails to finish his sentence.

"I think I know what you mean... but I don't want to assume anything." Blaise says.

"What do you assume?" Draco says softly.

"Your father gets... violent... doesn't he?" Blaise guesses. "I'm sorry if I just offended your family if I'm wrong."

"No... you didn't." Draco says quietly. Blaise notices a rare tear fall from Draco's eye.

Blaise hesitates before asking, "Is that where all the... bruises come from? You aren't really falling?"

"No." Draco says and sniffs. "I bloody hate myself. I'm sitting here on this nasty floor crying over my pitiful life and fawning over some idiot and spilling my secrets to a Slytherin. I really am a weak dimwitted failure."

"You aren't, you can't be! It just isn't possible. You're a Slytherin! You're strong, Draco. I can see that in you. You're not like Filch, that's for sure. Don't put yourself down. And don't forget that I am your friend. If they don't care and if that dud in there doesn't care, then I will. You can count me on that. You can always come to me when you need someone, whether that is someone to rant to or a friend, I'm here. I will never ever not keep that promise." Blaise says.

Draco smiles a certain smile Blaise hasn't seen before. He couldn't explain it, but it felt so special. Something so authentic from Draco just didn't exist, unless it was anger or one of those rare tears. But a smile this authenic just wasn't possible to be seen on Draco, until now.

"Thank you." Draco says, looking up at Blaise with the smile still plastered onto his face. "And, Blaise?" Blaise raises his eyebrow in response, "Talk to me whenever you need to and if you need someone to smuggle you some food from the house elves before the year ends." Draco smiles wider.

"Definitely." Blaise smiles back.

"I wanna know more about your life at home, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't. I can finally get it out to someone! It weighs down on you a lot when you hold it in for so long." Blaise says and Draco nods in agreement. "Ever since my father divorced my mother, my mother has refused to let him see me because he's some dangerous criminal or something. Although, I'm not sure if I trust her... she lies about everything. I've even caught her in a lie and she still lied to my face. Then this boyfriend comes into our lives and starts telling me what I can and can't do and telling my mother I'm doing stuff that I'm not. He once told her he found me in Knockturn Alley and she screamed at me for it for two days! She still believes him over me. As time went on she began to give him all he wants and ignoring me. He's the first to be taken care of and I'm expected to do everything myself. When he cries, my mother stops whatever she is going and runs right to him and tends to his every need. When I cry I'm told to suck it up, grow up and stop being a baby. I always felt so dull and lifeless. It felt like nothing could possibly make me happy again, not even playing on a broomstick or messing with a toy bludger. All the childhood wonder died ."

"Until you met Neville." Draco sings.

Blaise playfully rolls his eyes, "Yeah," He chuckles. "Well, even when I did meet Neville I still didn't feel anything. Then one day I just started thinking about him and how clumsy and shy he is. Every little thing he did played in my mind. That was the first time in a while that I truly smiled. I really thought I just paid him that much attention because I wanted to find a way to prank him you know, mess with him a little. Well, that's how it started, then it just turned into me observing him, then admiring him. Funny how those things work."

"How long did you feel this way about him?" Draco asks.

"Since late in fourth year. At least that's when I realized that my observing was turning into something weird that I didn't understand. Then, during the summer I realized I had a crush on him. That ruined me for months until I finally accepted it. Then one day... the feelings just got so strong and he couldn't possibly be described as a simple crush anymore. That ruined me for months as well... Now here I am again, ruined by it. But I'll never forget how it felt to think about him. It made all those problems wash away for a while and I dreamt while I was awake. While my life was miserable, just knowing I'd get to see Neville again made me want to stay alive." Blaise finishes, worried he just gave out too much information.

Draco's next words confirmed that he really did say too much. "Stay alive? You don't mean to tell me that all this has made you... not want to live?"

"Forget I said anything."

"Don't take this the wrong way. I understand what you're going through. Sometimes I wonder... if I wasn't alive anymore then maybe I wouldn't have to deal with all of this. Maybe I wouldn't be forced to do things I don't want to and be someone I'm not and maybe... maybe I wouldn't worry about feeling loved. Everything would just go away." Draco admits, almost seeming to talk to himself more than Blaise.

"I feel the same way." Blaise says, pulling his legs up to his chest and holding them there.

Draco sighs, "Thank you for being my friend."

"Thank you for being my friend." Blaise says with a sad smile. They both embrace each other in a tight hug and Blaise can feel Draco softly sobbing, but he doesn't say a word. Instead, he begins to sob with him. After all, this is the first real hug he has gotten since he was five years old.