Milo & Judah

Chapter 13 - Countdown

Eleven days. It seemed longer when Milo first heard that number. Then those days started to tick by and the number shrank to ten.

Nine...

Eight...

Seven...

Six.

Judah didn't show any distress about the days passing. He acted like they had all the time in the world, never once mentioning his impending departure. It was both frustrating and comforting all at once.

Maybe Judah didn't share Mercer's bleak view of their prospects. Or maybe he was just living day-by-day. Enjoying what they had, while they had it. A feeling that Milo had trouble emulating.

Even as Milo and Judah laid on his bed, kissing, Milo couldn't stop thinking about the dwindling time. His brother's words kept replaying in the back of his mind.

Think rationally.

Probably won't last.

Two-thousand miles apart.

Judah pulled back to look down at Milo. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Milo said. "Why do you ask?"

"You don't really seem like you're here with me. Normally, you're a bit more handsy, which I gotta tell ya, I'm kinda missing right now." Judah made a halfhearted attempt at a laugh.

Milo thudded his head back against the pillow. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Tell me what's going on." Judah rolled over to lay on his side. He propped his head up as he rubbed circles on Milo's chest.

Milo turned his head toward Judah. "The other day Mercer said something, and I can't stop thinking about it."

"What did he say?"

"I'm worried that if I tell you, you might freak out on me." Milo didn't want to pressure Judah into some kind of commitment by bringing up this subject. He'd really enjoyed these last few days. He didn't want it to end because he expected more than Judah wanted to give.

"Now you have to tell me, because I'm going to freak myself out wondering what it is, if you don't."

If only for the sake of alleviating Judah's mind, Milo confessed: "Basically, he said what we have won't last and I shouldn't get used to it."

The muscles in Judah's face tightened as he clenched his jaw. He exhaled sharply through his flared nostrils. "Why would he say that?"

"Because you're leaving in less than a week. You'll be two thousand miles away, and I don't know how you feel about me. Not really."

"You don't know how I feel about you?" Judah sat up as best he could with the top bunk overhead. "Are you serious?"

"I know you like me, and I really like you, too. It's just I'm not sure if this is a fun thing for you to do while you're on vacation, or if..." Milo trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"Milo, if this was just about fun, I would've tried to to do a lot more than dry hump you that night at the drive-in. Because I really wanted to. I've wanted to ever since."

Judah's bluntness astounded Milo. He just put it all out there with no reservations.

Milo sat up to face Judah. "You're the one who wanted to take this slow."

"Only because I've never had a proper relationship with a guy before that wasn't purely physical. I don't really know how to navigate it. And, I don't know, maybe that might sound stupid to you since I've had girlfriends. But I was worried if we did too much too fast, we'd burn out before we even got to know each other."