Palla My Love

Shards

Chapter 6: Shards

My stomach dropped, I felt ill, I broke down into hysterical sobs and then laughter. An all encompassing shadow filled my head and heart. It was all too much for my fragile mind to bear, the loss of all my hard work, study and the only key I had to fulfill my desires. Perhaps I was influenced by the dark magicks of necromancy or maybe I had just fallen into pure and utter madness at the time, but nothing mattered anymore. I felt as empty as I once did as a servant, when I had collapsed with a life threatening sickness. If it had not been for the many healers in the Guild I might have died, lucky the young budding scholars gained a lot of experience at my expense that day.

Magister Ilther once visited my chambers to see if I had recovered enough to come to class. I was his star pupil, so much so that he'd forgotten his petty hatred of my entire existence. Most surprising of all my visits was the headmaster himself, it was treated as an honour that he came down from his tower to give me his own personal blessing, all the magisters went on and on about how grateful I should be towards him. I hadn't seen him since he passed me that fateful day but I'd had enough of Magick and Wizardry to last me the rest of my pitiful lonely life. It was always the same with mages anyway, they only tolerated lower bloods when there was potential in them or if they could use them for their own selfish needs. Not to say I'm a saint that stood above them.

Even among the Elven dandies and corrupt Magister pricks I was the truly worst among them.

I spent a lot of my time in bed thinking about poor Betaniqi, I used her kind nature to my sick benefit and it was all for nothing in the end. When I was well enough to walk I quickly visited my dearest friend (even if I didn't have the right to call her that). She was a charming and considerate host as always, never once commenting on my appearance, which must have been like looking at a ghost. We walked around her mansion talking about any manner of things, her happy demeanor always cracked my rough exterior and put me in a better mood, until she offered to walk around the reflecting pool. And only when I declined did she really start to worry for my well-being.

"But you love walking around the sanctuary!" she exclaimed.

Her innocent pleas made my stomach fill with dread, I felt that I owed her the truth and so much more. I would tell her the truth.

"My dear lady, I love more than the sanctuary, I love your mother. She is all I've been able to think about for months now. Ever since you and I moved that tarp from that blessed statue. I don't know what you'll think of me now, but I have been obsessed with learning how to bring her back from the dead."

But I couldn't.

She would think I'd gone mad, she'd call for her guards to escort me far away from here, where I would never see her again. Perhaps I was mad, to think my goal was ever a sacred mission to return my love to me as her love was never mine to receive. Instead I answered her in a defeated tone "I'm just too tired right now Niqi, I'm afraid your mother, Palla, would think weak spirited of me even from oblivion."

She stared at me, quietly noting my words before she replied "Ash! my mothers name was Toreline!" she laughed thinking the mixup was a tad too funny "Pal La was the monster!"

I stared at Betaniqi for god knows how long, before leaving abruptly with the excuse that I was too weak and needed to return to the Mages Guild. The walk back was a lot more arduous than it usually felt. I had to search through my memory to the Tales and Tallows night so long ago when Betaniqi and I first revealed the statue, and first time I had heard the name of my love. That Initiate, Gelyn had spoken first. He was behind me. Was he recognizing the beast and not the lady?

I retired to my chambers once more deciding that I would collect my thoughts tomorrow, however that chance never came.

To be continued.