MORTEM: Memento Mori

Prologue

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️ THIS PART DEPICTS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT SO PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!

Everyday is just another boring day. When will I ever die? The boredom and loneliness is killing me inside. I don't want to wake up anymore, please take me now.

Just right after I recite that mantra in my mind, I heard a loud noise coming from my alarm and irritability gushed throughout my body in an instant. I turned off the alarm and immediately get out of bed.

"Fuck that!" I just said I don't want to wake up anymore and here I am waking up because of this piece of shit. Oh how foolish of me to even set an alarm. What am I even thinking?! Fuck it! Fuck! Fuckkkkk!

It's already 7 in the morning and I just remembered that I have a class at 8 a.m. today! I guess I gotta hurry now huh. I rushed to the bathroom even though I am still sleepy. There I stare at myself in the mirror. I have a bloodshot eyes, dark circles under my eyes, chapped lips, and a pale skin. Despite that, I still admired myself and talked to myself like a lunatic, "Oh boy you're still as handsome as ever, I'll make you die while still looking handsome too. I just can't wait to see you die. Yeah I'll try to kill you again later. For now, let's foolishly suffer from the boredom this day has yet to offer."

Alright, enough with that petty self talking. I'm going to be late but I know I won't die for being late. It would just be much of a hassle and I don't want to be bothered with it so I hurriedly took a quick bath. I don't care how cold the water is but I think of freezing to death while the cold water cascades over my numb body.

As I'm gritting my teeth and trembling because of the cold bath I just had minutes ago, I then immediately picked my clothes, whatever it is that I can get my hands onto first. I change into just a normal black printed t-shirt, black jeans and black converse. I let my hair as it is, I didn't even dried and combed it. I then put a black eyeliner and smudged it in my eyes with my fingers. I also made sure to wear a black long fingerless gloves to cover the scars made by my previous attempts. Before I forget everything else, I plugged in my headphones and now I'm in my own world.

Luckily, I was able to take a bus to school without any hassle. I sit in the front row right close to the bus window. As I'm listening to a metal song, I looked outside but my mind wanders to a different place, thinking and planning of a way how I am going take my own life later. Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind "I'll cut deeper this time." Then the bus stopped. I get off the bus and whispered "Welcome to hell."

While I'm walking at the hallway, people are staring at me as if they saw a murderer. I don't give a damn about them. I just continued walking shamelessly. 

"Well look who's here guys. Here comes the suicidal freak." Said one of my classmates.

What a warm welcome for me, I'm deeply touched.

"Shut up Ice or I'll kill myself in front of you all and make you all feel guilty for the rest of your lives. Worst is when the school makes you pay for the crime you didn't even commit. That sounds nice to me." I responded nonchalantly.

"Whoa whoa, calm down dude. Ang aga-aga napaka-aggressive mo naman. Hahaha." Ice said jokingly but I can sense some nervousness from his tone.

"What's with the fuss early in the morning class? Go to your seats!" Mr. Lopez then came inside our room. He's our Professor in Philosophy.

"We'll talk about Socrates' Philosophy today class. I have prepared a latin phrase for you all.  "Memento mori." Can anyone in this class have any idea what this phrase means?"