“Alright, that sounds good.”
“Okay. I’ll see you soon, my little Jessie,” Ms. Scarson said with a sweet voice, though she sounded in a rush to hang up. “See you!” The line broke quickly with a sharp click and Jesse put the phone back on the receiver.
Her mother hadn’t come by for the past two days, and Jesse feared she might not be coming back at all. A deep pain entered Jesse’s chest but not only because her mother was acting more and more like her old self again, but because she also hadn’t seen Toby in the past few days since his outburst. Jesse felt lonelier than ever and it was suffocating.
Jesse looked down to the Call button on the remote by her bed, tempted to bring a nurse in just so she wasn’t so alone, but didn’t want to bother a working nurse for her own petty reasons. She simply grabbed the TV remote and flicked through the channels. Christmas was a little more than a week away now, so specials still invaded the channels. Home Alone was on one channel. This was a movie Jesse had enjoyed watching since she was younger, mostly because that was how Jesse had spent most of her Christmas’; alone.
~~
“Mommy, mommy, can I open a present at midnight? Please, just one. A little one?” Jesse pleaded as her mother pulled on a coat from the closet. Jesse’s excitement dissipated slightly when she saw it was the long red coat with shiny black buttons that her mother was now wearing. When mom put that coat on, she wasn’t coming home until the next day.
“Yes sure, baby,” her mother said, wrapping a white scarf around her neck and checking once more in the mirror. “Just be in bed by ten.”
“But mom, I thought—”
“I won’t be gone long,” Ms. Scarson said, pausing at the doorway to blow her daughter a kiss. “See you, my little Jessie!”
Jesse stood there as her mother disappeared out the door. Jesse sighed and hurried into the kitchen to find something to eat. She was too short to properly get to the top cabinets where the snacks were, so she had to climb up onto the counter and onto her tip-toes. She grabbed the cookie jar off the very top shelf and put it on the counter. She went to jump down, but slipped and skinned her knee against the edge of the counter.
Jesse sat on the ground, holding her knee and crying for her mother. Somewhere in the small girl’s heart, she wished and hoped that her mother would feel her pain and need and come back home, back to Jesse and embrace her. She wanted her mother to stop leaving so often, to stop ignoring her and to stop forgetting to buy groceries and to hold her and kiss her and read to her at night. Jesse wanted a coat for winter and shoes for church. She wanted to stop eating fast food every day when her mother forgot to cook. She wanted to go to the park with her mom and dance around to music as they baked cookies. Jesse wanted her mother.
Minutes passed and her mother didn’t show, so Jesse stood and limped to the living room, the cookie jar forgotten.
Jesse jumped when the door opened suddenly. She had been watching some late night special on Nickelodeon. Jesse glanced at the clock; it was only 12:16am!
“Mom, mom, you’re home earlier! Merry Christ—”
“What are you still doing up, young lady?” Ms. Scarson looked to Jesse with disciplinary eyes, her tone sharp. “It’s very late, you should be asleep!”
“But…but mom, I was going to wait for you. I wanted to be awake when Christmas came,” Jesse said, smiling hopefully at her mother. But her mother didn’t look jolly or loving or anything like she should on Christmas morning (very very early Christmas morning). She looked irritated and tired, red veins webbing in her eyes and a purplish tint to her left cheek. Her face was flushed, hair disheveled.
Ms. Scarson grabbed Jesse’s wrist and pulled her down the hall and into the girl’s bedroom. “Go to sleep now, and I don’t want you leaving all day, do you hear me? Go to sleep! Not a word from you!” Jesse smelled a sharp and nasty scent on her mother’s breath, familiar and acidic. Her words were slurred and Jesse noticed she was a little wobbled on her feet.
“But mom—”
“Not a word!” her mother said, slamming the bedroom door shut. Jesse listened as her mother’s high heels clicked against the floor as she stormed to her own bedroom.
Jesse huddled in her bed under the covers, eyes closed, praying to God or Santa Claus or whoever cared- prayed that this was a dream and that her mother would stop being that way she was. She prayed her mother would act like the other mothers, the ones her friends at school had.
Her mother wouldn’t talk to her again until much later in the day.
Ms. Scarson opened the door and called to Jesse to come out of her room. Jesse, as nervous as a rabbit, followed her mother into the living room.
Her mother watched passively as Jesse opened her gifts, ripping the paper and smiling at her new toys. Jesse played quietly as her mother slept on the couch, her right around hanging over the arm and her cheek pressed against the cushion. Her hair was knotted in all directions and she wore a silky pink robe.
Jesse stood and kissed her sleeping mother’s cheek before returning to her bedroom. “Merry Christmas mommy.”
~~
Jesse felt tears prick her eyes as memories flowed through her mind, memories good and bad, each one sending waves of pain and grief through her chest. Jesse was used to being alone. She was used to her mother ignoring her, caring for other things more than her; she was used to spending time entertaining herself. So then why did she feel so lonely now? What was the difference between now and then? It felt like something was missing in her chest, as if she’d been scooped out and hollowed. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t experienced, nothing new. But this pain was different, fresh. Like a piece was missing.
She looked out the window, expecting the glass to slide open and a familiar face to poke in. It remained still all night, and the pain in her chest never left.
_____________
A bit more insight into the relationship between Jesse and her mother. More Toby later, I promise :)
I just wanted to thank those who have fanned me and those who enjoy my stories, it really means a lot to know people out there enjoy my work :) Comment and critques are welcome! Thank you~
~~ flashback
... time skip
YOU ARE READING
Symbiotic Relationship
RomanceJesse is young and optimistic about life despite being hospitalized due to a rare disease and having an insane and neglectful mother. This is probably due to her one friend who visits her at the hospital everyday. Toby is quiet and far from "ordinar...
