Yes, Sirs (Book 1 of Desire's Den)

Chapter 52 - Emma

How I managed to fall asleep after finding out I would start my training tomorrow was something I couldn't comprehend. I must've been tired as hell, or else I would've ended up thinking about how I—for once—looked forward to learning. This would be like a sexy school for BDSM and how to submit, and Mateo would be my teacher and a hot one at that.

The fact that when my alarm clock rang early the next morning, I went from sleepy to awake in a split second just thinking about what would happen today proved how much I wanted this.

Hopefully, Kevin could distract me at work, so I didn't have to go crazy obsessing over tonight.

Skipping breakfast so I could snag one of the baked goods from yesterday at the café instead, I dressed in that god-awful dress I had to wear at work. It looked absolutely hideous, and it was embarrassing to think that Mateo would see me in it when he picked me up. Ugh, maybe I should get him to pick me up at my apartment after I'd changed into some other clothes instead?

It was sunny outside, and although I loved the sun, I didn't love it when I wore this; it was too hot and uncomfortable to appreciate the nice weather.

Kevin hadn't arrived when I got to the café, and I had to unlock the door myself and grab the cleaning bucket from the supply closet. I mixed in some cleaning products with the water and picked up a few extra things I would need.

Since I was alone, I had opened my favorite Spotify playlist and danced to it while I swept with a mop.

"Get it, girl!" Kevin cheered, scaring the living shit out of me.

"Damn it, Kevin. Don't do that! You almost gave me a heart attack," I scolded him while my heart raced like crazy.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Did you bring out another bucket with a cloth by any chance?"

Laughing, I waved him away. "Get your own."

"I would've done it for you." He pouted. "Keep on dancing. I'll be right back and show you how it's really done."

Shaking my head, I kept scrubbing the floors and one place in particular where it looked like someone had spilled soda.

"I talked to Thomas, by the way," Kevin informed me when he got back. "He's excited to meet you."

"Oh, good, it'll be fun. Does he know I'm shy, though? I don't want him to think I'm rude if I don't talk much," I asked.

"Don't worry, he's the same."

My eyes found Kevin's. "I thought you liked one of those confident guys that took the initiative?"

"Yeah." He scratched the back of his neck. "I thought that was what I was after, but it turns out cute, shy guys are more my type. Either way, I might have shown him a picture of you, and he might have asked one of his single buddies to go out with us tomorrow." He looked sheepish like he knew I would disapprove, and I did.

"Seriously, Kevin? You know I'm with the guys. This won't be a double date or anything, right?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "I won't come if it is," I warned him.

"No, it's not like that, I think," he mumbled the last part as if he didn't want me to hear it.

"You think?"

"Fine, it won't be. I'll tell Thomas that you're unavailable."

"How would he think I was available in the first place?" I asked.

"I didn't know if you wanted anyone else to know about your dominants, so...I stretched the truth," he admitted, and I almost laughed.

"You could've stretched the truth a little less and told him I'm with someone." Sometimes I really didn't know how Kevin's thought process worked.

"Yeah, you're right, but don't I get a plus for not saying anything about BDSM?" He looked at me, hopefully.

"You get a gold star," I joked, a smile teasing my lips. I could never stay angry at Kevin. "But I have to tell the guys about this 'not a date' thing. I don't want them to think I'm not exclusive with them."

"I get that, and I promise to tell Thomas about you being unavailable. I just think he was excited about the fact that my best friend would date his best friend." When I narrowed my eyes at him a second time, he amended, "Okay, okay. I was also excited about that. I'm sorry, I knew about you and the guys, but I didn't know if you could date someone else or not. We haven't really talked since the meeting you had with them, so I had to try. By the way, how was the meeting? Can I see the list?"

Laughing, I grabbed the filthy water and the mop. "The meeting went great; they were really supportive of my decisions. As for you seeing the list? Absolutely not. It's one thing for me to know you know about me being a submissive, and a whole other thing that you know about what I'll be doing with the guys."

"Sex, lots and lots of sex," Kevin sighed dramatically as he put a hand on his forehead like he would pass out from the jealousy.

"I wish," I mumbled and walked to the supply closet to put the cleaning supplies back in place. The guys made me desperate for sex, for anything really that involved me giving them pleasure for once. It did little to my self-esteem that they hadn't initiated anything like that. Was I that easy to turn down? Wasn't I enough to make them as desperate as they made me? I'd felt their hard dicks, but maybe it was just the natural way they reacted to a naked woman, and they didn't actually want me.

Shit, I needed to stop overthinking things; it made me go crazy with uncertainty. I was good enough for them that they wanted me as their submissive, and I should focus on that instead.

I am confident and sexy. I am confident and sexy. I am—yeah, no matter how much I told myself that, there was no quick fix to suddenly grow comfortable in my own body. I couldn't force myself to feel pretty, and maybe the low self-esteem was something I had to live with.

There were many customers today, and I was always on my feet, walking to and from the kitchen. It was hectic, and just what I needed to turn off my overactive brain.

By the time we changed the door sign from open to closed, I was calmer than when I got to work.

"I think one of your boyfriends are here." Kevin nodded towards the window. I turned around and saw Mateo standing outside, leaning against his car.

"They're not my boyfriend," I stated as I untied my apron and hung it up behind the counter.

"The guy you fuck then. Oh shit, sorry, you're not fucking him either," Kevin laughed and smacked my ass with the towel he was holding.

"Yet." I stuck my tongue out at Kevin. "I would offer for you to meet him, but...I don't know how the guys feel about that. I'll talk to them about it."

"No worries, I get you guys aren't in a normal relationship. No hurt feelings here. Now go and have a good time."

"See you tomorrow." I waved to Kevin as I walked out the door and towards Mateo's car. Even if I was calmer now than when I started working, I wasn't precisely calm. My body felt jittery and full of anticipation.

Mateo had said we would start my training today, and I wondered how that would go. All I knew was that I was ready to learn how to be a good little submissive to them—and maybe a bit of a naughty one too.