Wildfire

106

When Akeno left for the evening I found myself still too troubled by the day to rest, the thought of taking some of the sedative that had been left with us somehow off-putting to me... My beast pushing me to stay alert with the thinking that one of us should always stand guard now, it's normally passive nature while tucked away now gone and replaced with mistrust of the calm that has overtaken this palace... The bustle of activity that had exploded after the battle was over now having wound down into the quiet hum of families trying to stitch themselves back together as the stars shine as brightly tonight as they had last night before so many innocent lives were recklessly taken... So many of them leaving this place not likely to ever return, the remaining nobility housed here all shuttered in their rooms and grieving the loss of their innocence where true violence is concerned... 

Today so many people were exposed to something they had never seen... Sure... So many of them had seen Xiang himself be angry... But never before has he made such a mess of so much all at once, and I cannot begin to comprehend how relieved I am to know that he shall never be able to do it again... That there is no way that he can rise from the dead a torment us all, all over again... Today my people were exposed to the violence that should have never been allowed to happen in this court in the first place... So many of them seeing for the first time what it feels like to longer feel safe...And all of it my fault for inviting them here in the first place... 

But as glad as I am that we shall never have to truly relive this very trauma... I cannot help but also feel slightly numb towards it all... To lose both the man who helped raise me and my monster of a father all in one afternoon... After one of them torturing us all and the other claiming to protect us only to be crossed and crossed again... My soul feels saddened that Xiang could not see the light and let himself be saved... 

 ...And... Confused over how to think back on Cho, and his last acts... He led a life that had been devoted to keeping the inhabitants of this palace safe and his crossing of us, no matter the reason, had been more painful than even the fact that Xiang had no love left in his being after Mother's passing to even remember that I am her child and his son... The day has left me so very drained and unable to truly understand my own feelings other than the gratefulness and love that I hold for the Queen sleeping so very heavily in my arms...The rest well deserved seeing how he spent his day saving this kingdom from my father in a way that I had not been able to... Being so very brave and valiant as he fought for himself and for his people... He proved himself so very much today as more than deserving of the crown that sits on his head... Maybe more so than even I with how strong he found himself to be when I myself felt so impossibly weak... 

My wife had held his head high and threw himself into battle to defend himself... And to defeat his nightmares... Both of which he accomplished so stunningly that even I had been taken aback at his tenacity, his inner-strength something I had already been well aware of... Somehow the lovely Moon Beam in my arms had managed to protect me after I had sworn so thoroughly that I would be the one protecting him... And he did so well... So very very well...

...

Rayne

...

When I first open my eyes... When I first open my eyes, I am not aware of anything other than the sound of Emrys as he croons to me, the low notes rumbling from deep inside of his chest, the humble notes coming from his beast melancholy and soothing at the same time as I feel the brush of his knuckles on my cheek... The two of us alone in the dim room, a single candle lit across the room so that he might see me and to keep the fear away that normally visits me when the night comes...  The horrid memories and phantom situations strangely absent from my mind this evening... The weight of our situation settling so heavily on my shoulders as I start to become more and more aware of how the day really played out... Of everything that happened...And... And the fact that we did not crumble... Even when I feared that all was over and that Xiang was going to end me right there in what used to be his chambers... 

The palace crumbled... And lives were lost... But we stayed strong for each other... We did our best to stay strong for this Kingdom because they needed us to... They needed someone to finally protect them and escort Xiang off the throne... And we stood strong...  As strong as we were able to be in the terrible moments that unfolded earlier today... And with that knowledge, I think that I may finally start to accept that the fact that my hands will always seem to have the lightest of pink stains from all of the blood that had washed over them... I can start to figure out how to be at peace knowing that my talons had been used for violence and that they had caused vicious harm... 

They may have caused harm... And I may have temporarily embraced the rage that had been introduced to my heart by the cruelest of hands... But it was for good reason... And that is what I tell myself as I curl into my husband's embrace, his acknowledging of me being awake coming in the form of a kiss to my forehead as he continues on, slow and steady... My voice joining his in the soft glow of the candlelight that we are sharing... The dawn slowly delivering to us a new day... One that we both will be here to see...